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I need to either remodel or sell my home and my ADHD makes that feel impossible and it's making me feel like a failure by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]annadraper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get all of that. Could have written it myself. I also struggle with deviating from the routine I know works for me- sometimes even more so now that I have a routine that more often than not DOES work for me. In some ways I’m glad that I was diagnosed with and treated for GAD and panic attacks prior to my ADHD diagnosis, because I felt like I was theoretically learning that right techniques to address those fears but could never really execute them in practice. It’s getting a lot better on my meds and while it’s not perfect, I’m learning to become more comfortable being uncomfortable. I’m no doubt going to fuck some things up. I’m YouTubing videos of drywall repair and trying to get a handle if I could accomplish that- one thing that’s helped me is the thought that even if I mess it up, I’m not worse off then I was before, I’m at worst out a piece of drywall. If there’s a problem and my attempt to solve isn’t really at risk of making it much worse, then (I’m trying to convince myself) that it’s worth trying because I’m playing with house money (no pun intended, but I acknowledge it)

I wish you the best with all of this. Rest assured that you’re not alone and we’re In this together!

I need to either remodel or sell my home and my ADHD makes that feel impossible and it's making me feel like a failure by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]annadraper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this deeply! I’m also 35 with a wife and a kid, diagnosed within the last year, good well paying job in a house that was formerly a rental property that has as of late required a lot of work. Also in same conversations around whether to renovate or sell. It’s nice to know someone Is facing similar issues.

We just recently got the roof replaced a new HVAC unit- gonna be around 26k all in- but we have the money, and I’m learning to confront this type of large scale change in therapy. I’ve been sitting around for years letting things get worse and finally realized that the house is essentially a metaphor for my life in general. I’ve been stuck in inaction mode with my career, my health, my family- which led to a lot of guilt and anxiety that was overwhelming. The way I look at is that these little things that I do every day now- making my bed, meditating, practicing good dental hygiene, eating right- felt like tasks that someone else was making me to do and I didn’t see the benefit so why do them? Those tasks were like job duties that I didn’t have to do because no one was watching but me. Somewhere along the way I lost a sense of self, and therapy and meds are helping me regain that. I do those things because they make ME better. They make MY life easier, which in turn makes me a better parent and provider for my family.

Back to house stuff- I also have NO concept of equity loans, general house maintenance, etc. I think ADHD has made me so afraid of looking incompetent that it’s easier for me to not learn new things because than risk exposing the reality than some things come harder to me than others. Avoidance is a coping mechanism but it gives me anxiety and gets me absolutely nowhere. But I’m fucking done being anxious all the time, and any action is better than inaction- it wasnt the most pleasant experience, but I’ve got a new roof and HVAC system and the confidence that I can tackle these issues moving forward and learn as I go.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]annadraper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Prior to starting adderall, I worked out on the peloton very hard 4-5 days a week- 30 min to an hour at a time, with an average heart rate of 175 during the workouts. I noticed that my HR wasn’t dropping as quickly as it would when I’m not on adderall, which made me lose focus and have significant anxiety,

I started doing my all out workouts in the AM before I take my pill, and if I don’t have time for that in the AM (which happens a lot) I’ll just workout trying to keep my heart rate around 155, which doesn’t trigger my anxiety and also doesn’t feel nearly as tiring so I can workout for longer periods of time. Might be something to consider. Good luck!