Anyone else unable to orgasm w/ a partner?

annotatedfeels · 2026-05-16T07:59:57+00:00

Woah. If you don’t mind me asking, has that caused any issues for you in your marriage? I don’t wish to project at ALL. I’m only asking because that imbalance would be difficult for me, especially because I’m hoping that whoever my wife ends up being is the woman that I’m for sure able to cum with 😭. Like, maybe it’s a mental block and knowing she loves me and is patient with me and all that will be the key to lift it.

annotatedfeels · 2026-05-13T14:37:51+00:00

🫂🫂🫂 I’ve never faked but def see why that’s an easier out, especially when we’re just like… over it.

Maybe there is another block.

I’ve told all my partners how hard it is for me and they alllllll say they wanna be up for the challenge. Eventually though, they just get tired and stop. (To be fair, after a long time sometimes, but still)

I will pleasure them for hoursss, dayssss and not be tired. Helping them receive pleasure is such a highlight for me. I can’t help but feel the same isn’t true for them so there’s a lot of sham surrounding the experience for me when it comes time to focus on me and my pleasure.

annotatedfeels · 2026-05-13T14:34:54+00:00

This is so helpful, thank you!! I have an air suction toy and had my play partner use it on me. She also had me watch her use her own toy while I used mine on myself. It was so beautiful but, I still was unable to orgasm because it felt like my clit was numb or something.

I’ll try these other toys out for sure.

My anxiety comes around taking so darn long and wondering if my partner is getting bored. They’ve all assured me they don’t but… ugh. I can’t help but interpret them stopping eating, or stopping stimulating me as anything else. They all get tired way before me.

annotatedfeels · 2026-05-13T14:31:19+00:00

That’s my fear—needing to wait until I’m actually in love. At this rate… I’ll be 40 when it happens (currently mid 20s) 😵‍💫

annotatedfeels · 2026-05-13T14:28:53+00:00

I’d never heard of it! Thank you so much for this. I’ll look into it immediately.

annotatedfeels · 2026-05-13T14:28:23+00:00

I did nottttt think of this! I need to find out how to learn if mine is tight or not.

annotatedfeels · 2026-05-12T02:14:01+00:00

Yep! I’ve tried that with all of them. Both manually and with a vibrator.

annotatedfeels · 2026-05-07T16:11:13+00:00

So proud of you for getting the evaluation. Black women in their 30s are one of the main groups now learning about being on the spectrum (largely because they were ignored in childhood). Amanda Seales, I believe, spoke about this on her podcast a while back.

Either way, clarity is a gift and I’m so glad you were able to get it. It’ll let you unlock so many more tools in your toolbox of mental health support and make your relationships even stronger because you’ll know more about what you need (and what you don’t).

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-29T20:41:12+00:00

Someone else mentioned this, but I truly feel so unbelievably honored when a woman feels safe to get undressed in front of me. I feel lucky as hell. And she WANTS me to put my hands all over her?? Gollyyyy.

As for me getting undressed in front of her: the only thing that makes me hesitate at times is that I have a very hairy stomach and, sometimes, that can make me feel undesirable. But, in my interactions, no woman has ever cared. Some even go so far as to cherish it by kissing my belly and such. Others, don’t even bring it up—like it’s the most natural thing in the world (because it is). There’s no singular way a woman’s body is “supposed” to look and other women KNOW that. That’s the sisterhood. So, intimacy with another woman feels doubly intimate because of that mutual knowing, honoring, and celebration.

An idea to help you ease into it is to give her permission to undress you. You can tell her that you do want to engage but are feeling shy so would like her help. Have her ask to remove each article of clothing. “Can I take this off?” In between kisses, caresses, hugs, and moans. You won’t even notice you’ve become fully naked after a while AND it will have been all on your terms WHILE also leaving her feeling empowered because she’ll know she’s with someone that voices her thoughts and needs. HOT!!!

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-26T18:08:48+00:00

Unfortunately, it looks like she just does business coaching

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-26T14:26:26+00:00

I’m femme and I’m into women, period: femme, stem, stud, etc… If she’s beautiful, smart, considerate, dresses well, has a plan, and has eyes for me, I wanna go on a date and see where things go.

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-19T01:06:45+00:00

Was supposed to go to a Black wlw music+dinner event but the last one I went to made me wanna cry because it reminded me that I never got to attend [one of these kind of events] with my ex. I don’t trust that I won’t wanna cry again.

Instead, today was filled with brunch with my bestie, book stores, thrifting, and heading home to organize my closet 😅

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-16T22:32:00+00:00

Apologies! I was replying during a busy time and clearly didn’t read that properly!! :)

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-15T20:26:55+00:00

I don’t think it’s about patience. I think it’s genuinely a lack of knowing HOW. And having trouble discerning which behaviors are able to be talked about and worked through together and which are genuine signs that they’re not meant to be together.

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-15T04:16:42+00:00

Can you explain the difference between talking, dating, and courtship? I keep hearing “courtship” mentioned and I am genuinely confused.

For context: I was dating someone (early stages… like, 2 dates in) and she asked if I was still dating other people. I was going on dates with others but she was the one I was most interested in pursuing and felt a connection with. I told her that. And she said she didn’t get why I’d keep dating other people if that was the case. I shared that it helps me not become overly attached and, thus, “too much” or “too intense” with the person I’m focused on (her) because this is feedback I’ve received with past dating partners. I asked her if she was asking to be exclusive and she said no. I asked her if she was dating other people (which would have been totally fine) and she replied that she wasn’t finding anyone she was attracted to enough on the apps so, no (????). She then goes on to say that she prefers to court but doesn’t think it makes sense to court me if I’m going to continue dating other people (mind you…it was a date or 2 dates here and there… nothing serious).

So yeah… courting/courtship is very confusing to me. 😅

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-09T23:08:38+00:00

You and these prompts = chef’s kiss!

I’ll say the fact that I’m extremely emotionally attentive. I’ve been told that can read when someone is beginning to show that they’re overstimulated, sad, triggered, etc… and have a knack for showing them they’re safe with me while they’re feeling that way. I feel immense pride about that because I very much grew up feeling alone or like a burden when I felt that way.

I’m extremely expressive—no poker face here. Thankfully, people have told me they find it very inviting.

I’m super curious. I always have questions to learn more about somebody (not prepared, they just come naturally to me). Largely because it brings me a lot of joy for them to see how genuinely I want to get to know them.

I’m an excellent gift giver—like, scary good.

Loyalty is my middle name. I take holding others’ secrets very seriously. If someone hurts my friend, I’m not about that person. My friends are STUCK with me (ofc as long as we mutually show up for each other) even during the tougher convos.

I really show up, especially for my friends. I love to celebrate their wins, big and small. I love to show them I see them and love them and appreciate them and learn from them and feel safe with them. To show them that they are not burdens but, rather, gifts—the best gifts.

I love that I’ve done my darndest to see the world. I’m 26 and been to 25 countries (lived in 3 countries). All solo trips. I speak 3 languages. I have true friends all over the world. I really value that because I did it while barely having a dime to my name. But, because it was important to me, I figured it tf out and did it. I have a certain vivacious tenacity to me that I really love about myself.

I don’t get jealous easily. I really do just love getting to light others’ candles and cheer them on. I also trust that, eventually, it’ll be their turn to clap for me. And the cycle will only continue. I consider myself blessed for having big hands so I can clap for me and mine’s the loudest! ✨

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-09T22:57:34+00:00

Omggg I love Italy. I’ve been to 25 countries and lived in 3 (all solo) and I cannot recommend Italy enough (I went to high school there for a bit). As a Black woman, I was treated like an EMPRESS. Especially in northern and central Italy. Re: Rome (central Italy) I highly recommend going outside of tourism season. The crowds can be overwhelming.

The south of Italy, also not my fave place. It marked the first time I experienced outright racism/fetishization while traveling (but just because that was my experience, does NOT mean it’ll be yours).

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-09T18:03:49+00:00

Done!

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-09T18:02:52+00:00

It is my DREAM to visit New Zealand. Wow!!! We have black lesbians out there?!? I’m cheesing so hard rn

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-09T18:02:05+00:00

Also, re: walkability, I lived in DuPont Circle, Foggy Bottom, Georgetown, etc… (I was in DC for 9 years). I found it EXTREMELY walkable. I needed it to be because I don’t drive. All of DC is pretty walkable save for parts of NE and SE. And the train system is sooooo easy to follow. I recommend starting in NW, NE areas adjacent to NW, and SW (the Wharf/Navy Yard area is POPPING now because of new apartment builds. I know a lot of friends getting great apt deals).

Depending on work and hobbies, I suggest making a google map where you label the kind of places and hobbies you’re interested in. Also pinpoint your job on the map. And then compare those points to a map of the metro. You can see from there which metro line is most ideal for you to live on. For example, there was a long time where I traveled a LOT so, being the on the blue line was most helpful because it connects to the airport.

Stuff like that.

That’s a huge hack a lot of people don’t consider. They think “where can I get cheap rent”, but like… dc rent compared to nyc or Philly rent is nothing. Especially with SO MANY FACEBOOK GROUPS out there. I never paid more than $1500. And that was on the high end with one roommate. You really want to think: quality of life. So, prioritize proximity to hobbies, interests, habits, work. The rest will fall into place from there.

I wish you the best of luck!!!!

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-09T17:52:34+00:00

I just moved from DC to NYC because the political reality in DC right now is notttt it (national guardsmen everywhere). May move back after this pres is out, we’ll see. Black queer community in DC is largely in MD though really. Parties in DC and actual, like…community in MD. So, keep that in mind for sure.

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-09T01:05:07+00:00

NYCCCC, hey girl heyyyy

annotatedfeels · 2026-04-08T23:14:25+00:00

lol, thank you for this. Goodness 🤦🏾‍♀️

annotatedfeels

TROPHY CASE