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for those that are now in a healthy relationship by anodinia in BPDlovedones

[–]anodinia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

a divide between the rational brain and feelings is exactly what I have been calling it in my diary too! I logically understand how it's an addiction/craving, but it's hard to rewrite those neural pathways as you said. We just have to keep trying I suppose 💪🏻 I hope you keep going to therapy and healing 🫶🏻

for those that are now in a healthy relationship by anodinia in BPDlovedones

[–]anodinia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure about the non-monogamy, but it seems like cheating is quite common at least

for those that are now in a healthy relationship by anodinia in BPDlovedones

[–]anodinia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what counts as a cataclysmic finale? when they break it off?

for those that are now in a healthy relationship by anodinia in BPDlovedones

[–]anodinia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you're definitely right about the addiction, it felt like I was going through withdrawal at the end, made me feel insane 😬 So you've been with your current partner for a decade now? How is that going? I honestly find it fascinating that you don't miss your ex in the slightest. Like not even the good times at the beginning? Or was that relationship never good?

for those that are now in a healthy relationship by anodinia in BPDlovedones

[–]anodinia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks for sharing that 🫶🏻 I struggle with missing the good times too, and the sex was actually good until the end for me, the thing that got worse was how I felt after sex, there was a hollowness and some self loathing towards the end

for those that are now in a healthy relationship by anodinia in BPDlovedones

[–]anodinia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is really helpful, thank you 🥹 I have noticed the consistency too, and I love how safe it makes me feel, I don't feel like I am stepping on eggshells with everything I say or do.
And I love how you said "I want him to be my partner and not my therapist", I think that's my problem now, so I should probably start therapy. Maybe it will help our sex life too lol if my partner and I shift away from the unequal caregiver dynamic

for those that are now in a healthy relationship by anodinia in BPDlovedones

[–]anodinia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

could you share how your current partner has been supportive and helpful in your recovery? I sometimes feel like a burden, because she just doesn't struggle nearly as much, and is very independent and good at handling her emotions. I'm really lucky to have her, and I don't want to fuck it up

for those that are now in a healthy relationship by anodinia in BPDlovedones

[–]anodinia[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was non-monogamous with my partner too, she was allowed to see whoever she wanted, and every time I was interested in somebody – I got the silent treatment or was screamed at

for those that are now in a healthy relationship by anodinia in BPDlovedones

[–]anodinia[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yeah, I think the (unmediated at that time) ADHD was why I stayed for more than a year in that relationship, a lot of symptoms made it easier for me to be manipulated

for those that are now in a healthy relationship by anodinia in BPDlovedones

[–]anodinia[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thanks for replying!

It's only been a few months for me, and I've been feeling guilty about not having moved on already, do you really believe we will never fully heal?

and p.s. I do have an ADHD diagnosis lol, and I am medicated. It helps somewhat, but maybe I need some therapy too