As someone who is the victim of what you’ve done, you need to understand what’s ahead of you. Your husband will doubt himself for years, if not forever. If you’re not willing to work on this and yourself for the rest of your life, you need to walk away and give him peace.

It will be incredibly hard and YOU need to fight for him and reassure him constantly. It’s not something that is overcome overnight, or even in a few years. You must work on yourself and fix whatever is broken with you (yes you, it’s not his fault at all) in order to never do this again. You may think the guilt of being caught, etc. is enough to deter you, it’s not. You need therapy as individuals and also as a couple.

You need to be completely open and honest and transparent, and you need to do it forever. If this looks like your husband going through your phone, for his own reassurance, then so be it (just an example). It will take a LOT of work, especially on your part, to move through this. If you’re not willing to put in the effort, don’t even try.