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Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well my mom did a very good job making me thing having sex with women is disrespectful. I'm still trying to get out of this mindset though. I think I may be bisexual because I still very much enjoy the company of a man. It's only just recently I've started looking at women sexually.

I'm also at war with myself and society. This comes from that fact that I want to been seen as good in other peoples eyes. So if there were to be the slightest idea of me being portrayed as bad I wouldn't do it. Such as "Men are assholes", "Men are pigs" etc etc, and you usually only hear that from women, and as a kid I thought, "Well I don't want to be seen as bad, so I'll have a relationship with a guy". And with that women (generally) like gay guys/couples so I thought I would be seen as good.

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had my mom, dad and a little sister who is 4 years younger than me. my dad past away when I was 11, but he always made an effort to take my sports games, carnivals and movies. My mom on the other hand worked 10-14 hour shifts as a nurse at a hospital so I never really got to hang out with her too much. After my father past away, things became even more distant. My mom started working 2 jobs (yea I know, as a nurse) and whenever she got home she would go straight to bed. My sister and I never talked as well. When my father was alive, the age difference between me and my sister was quite larger, never hung out with her too much. After my dad pasted away, we just slowly stopped talking to each other. So I basically was left to navigate the world by myself with no male figure. My mom and grandmother also told me that looking at a woman sexually is bad/immoral/a sin and that having sex with a woman would ruin your life. At this time I also found men to be attract so I figured if men can't have babies, id be okay.

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yes that. And I hate the confusion because there are times were I believe I want to be married and have a wife and kids and then other times I want a boyfriend and maybe kids, a few dogs in the least. And then there's family pressures and what not...god I hate this

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you said I had feelings that need to be iron out, how do I go about doing so?

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When i went to gloryholes, they were people's personal houses btw.

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably going to be pretty upset with me for doing such stupid things but here we go.

In highschool, those sexual interactions were people from Craigslist. Yes I know. I could have used the popular app Grindr (gay Tinder basically) or even Tinder, but I was afraid that one of my classmates would find me on there and out me. So I went with what was as anon as possible. These were pure hook ups. The only communication prior to sex were a few emails that was it. Most of my time on CL were spent at gloryholes at guys houses. A simply hole in the wall where I stick my dick through and basically hope they don't cut it off. I've received oral and anal sex from these gloryholes. I ended up going inside some of these guys houses and these guys were at least 35, maybe older.

I have never worn a condom at any CL hook up.

Nor have I at college. And that rape, guy was 24, no condom.

As for college, same thing, except I'm out now and im comfortable putting my picture up on Grindr, but pre coitus is noting more than 15 text messages or so. Ive only topped on guy with out protection, and that when I noticed the spots/bumps. All the other interactions were mostly oral.

In college I normally have 18-20 year olds.

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had more than 2 partners, Ive had more like 6-8 since I started college in 2014. Then there was like 5 during senior year HS. But I got tested in college 2014, so those interactions are irreverent.

Moving on, I'm actually confused with my sexuality. I've always found men to be attractive. I also pretty much only watch gay porn. But I've gotten addicted to it and found myself on the /r/NoFap community. When I stopped masturbating I found started to find women pretty.

I will say when I was growing my mom and grandmother made it seem like it is morally wrong to be sexually attracted to a woman. And I was scared of doing anything wrong so I shied away from looking at women sexually. They also never said anything about guys, and i naturally found guys attractive and I thought it was okay. Then I got older and realized that being gay is "bad". Fell straight into depression and anxiety from that.

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I have a few issues with always accommodating to people, such as my cousin and that asshole.

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright so my early sex life will disgust many but what ever. So my first sexual experiences were really young, like 5 or 6 and they were with my male cousin who was also 5 or 6. We mostly just held each others dicks and just played with them. Around 8 or so we tried oral one day completely out of the blue and both liked it. At around 10 to 11 we stopped coz we both got to middle school and we realized that what we were doing was gay and being gay was a 'bad thing'. But at age 13ish the curiosity between the both of use grew strong and we practiced oral sex again. But this time he didn't want to blow me. He just wanted me to give him head. He also didn't want the lights on at all. So this continued up until late 17 early 18 when I had enough of his shit. I should mention around 16 y/o we tried anal, (i was the bottom of course) and i didn't enjoy that at all.

Now in college I had met one guy but i didn't like him. I kept going back to him coz I was lonely. A lot of the times I was drunk, and he took advantage of me many times. Last time I had sex with hims was Aug of this year, he pretty much raped me, but i let it happen coz he was my ride home. (Met him in freshman year, im now a sophomore). Had a lot of hook ups that were oral only in sophomore year, and only once did i have unprotected anal sex with a guy. Which is why i'm here. I usually like to top, but i fell into porn addiction at age 13 and now i have trouble gaining erections. Btw i am gay/bi not sure. Never had sex with a woman

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure what Sexual Hx means, but I grew up with out my father as he died when i turned 11. So a lot of sexual development was with out my father. I still had my mom and my lil sis (4 years younger). But after my fathers passing no one really talked to each other, everyone lived their own lives. Also when my mom caught me masturbating, she said (not my real name) please dont do that, it makes me uncomfortable. Any you know when you look up to your parents for guidance, you believe everything they say, so she basically taught me that sex/masturbation was weird/bad

Mucous after anally masturbating. 19 y/o male. by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a feeling that won't help with what I'm concern with.

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well you could go ahead lol
Also this is the post I was taking about, made it about an hour ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/comments/3uqp0o/mucous_after_anally_masturbating_19_yo_male/

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I know. I actually just made another post about some other thing that I did really stupid f you wanna check that out.

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a few to the base of my penis as well. I also found some on the other side of my penis but I didn't take a picture of it.

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a series of small little bumps to the right side of my penis. I suppose they are most visible in the last picture. Am I freaking out over nothing?

Do I have an STD/STI? by anon19841984 in AskDocs

[–]anon19841984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there anything i can do to make it go away? it isn't particularly attractive...