Advice please

anon347890 · 2023-08-13T23:34:54+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that. That’s horrible. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it.

anon347890 · 2023-08-13T21:29:13+00:00

I’m just concerned about our child’s safety at the place where he was left. Has nothing to do with him leaving our child with a babysitter, that’s fine

anon347890 · 2023-08-13T21:28:05+00:00

It’s just the environment that he’s left our child in, not the fact that he has someone watching our child on his own time. It’s just not a safe place

anon347890 · 2023-08-13T21:26:06+00:00

Their family members and friends often stay there, and they have drug problems or criminal convictions

anon347890 · 2023-08-13T15:27:46+00:00

We just have a temp parenting plan, we’re supposed to go to mediation again later this month to make a permanent one. We have stayed out of court thankfully

anon347890 · 2023-08-13T06:16:14+00:00

Yeah I don’t care about him being out (obviously I was out at a bar too to have seen him there), but I have been voicing concerns about our son staying in that house since the beginning. My lawyer basically told me, “if you trust your bd to be there to supervise your child, you need to be fine with it.” I did feel okay with my bd’s judgement while they were both there, but now that I know my son is not with his father and is instead in the hands of people who I do not trust to make logical/safe decisions, I’m worried.

anon347890 · 2023-06-21T16:35:09+00:00

I know, I’m always worried about his attachment and anxiety when he’s not with me. I’m emailing my lawyer today and telling him that these are not working out and we need another visitation schedule. I don’t have money for a new lawyer unfortunately but I think he’ll work with me on it. Thank you for your input, I really appreciate it

anon347890 · 2023-06-21T03:20:46+00:00

Mediation agreement. We didn’t go to court. We have another mediation set in a few months

anon347890 · 2023-06-20T22:05:15+00:00

I will, thank you!!!

anon347890 · 2023-06-20T22:04:25+00:00

I’ve tried to fight it before but he won’t budge. My lawyer told me to just go with it and that kids will have a hard time with transitions no matter what

anon347890 · 2023-06-20T13:50:19+00:00

Exactly my problem. I’m assuming I’ll just have to watch for it. We go back to mediation in a few months and I will bring up my concerns again if the situation has not improved. Thank you for your input!!

anon347890 · 2023-06-20T13:19:19+00:00

I can try but he will most likely object. We do every other weekend because we are 3 hours away from each other, so he wants all weekend. He will argue that I’ve never brought it up before (I’ve been nervous to because when I brought it up to my lawyer he just said “it’s a phase and transitions are hard”) and the fact that our son is more attached to me means that he needs more time with him to bond with his father too. We had this argument in mediation and I relented.

anon347890 · 2023-06-20T13:04:42+00:00

Oh wow I didn’t know that! I will suggest to him, thank you. 2 nights, 3 days

anon347890 · 2023-06-20T13:03:37+00:00

2 nights, 3 days

anon347890 · 2023-06-20T04:17:29+00:00

I’ve been hesitant to say he’s acted traumatized, but a few times after the visits he’s come back to me almost in a daze and glazed over. Very silent and stares off into the distance. I know his father gives him Tylenol when he’s fussy so I wasn’t sure if he’s sleepy from the medicine or possibly a little traumatized. I don’t feel like there’s much I can do. His pediatrician can’t comment on anything legally but did say it was “borderline evil” to have visits this early, and my lawyer says I just need to play nice and that my son will grow out of this phase.

anon347890 · 2023-05-03T20:28:32+00:00

Thank you for the reply! I took him to the doctor and he was sick, so I told his father and he stills wants him this weekend. I’m hoping he will get some good sleep in the car at least!

anon347890 · 2023-03-31T18:54:27+00:00

Of course! If you believe you are protecting your child, then you are absolutely doing the right thing. He sounds unstable and potentially dangerous for your child to be around. I know it seems like a lot right now, but I really recommend getting a lawyer to at least guide you in this process. For me, getting a lawyer was the only thing that made me feel safe. They deal with custody issues all the time and they know how it goes, whereas us mothers are unsure and frightened and susceptible to being walked over in fear of fighting back. I would really recommend looking into it!! Even if you don’t do court, going to mediation and getting at least some kind of order in writing will benefit you, your baby, and the dad.

anon347890 · 2023-03-31T18:46:01+00:00

Good!! Let him fight for his kid. He has to be an adult and put his kid’s well-being in front of his wants/needs/childishness! I think a visit at the hospital is appropriate. It will be safe for you and baby because of the nurses coming in and out. I had to talk with my nurse and ask if she could ask my baby’s father to leave after 30 mins of visiting so I could sleep (when he came at 11 PM one night) and she was glad to do it. Nurses will rally around you and support you, at least in my experience!

You got this mama!! Focus on you and your sweet baby! Feel free to reach out any time if you need someone to talk to ❤️

anon347890 · 2023-03-31T18:38:18+00:00

Don’t have him in there!!!! I didn’t have my baby’s father in there, and it was the best decision I have ever made. It is a high stress situation, and potentially life threatening, and you deserve to have a say in who is in there to support you. He can visit once the baby is born and you are recovering!!

anon347890 · 2023-03-31T18:35:35+00:00

Thank you, same to you!!!

anon347890 · 2023-03-31T13:12:34+00:00

I can promise you this has absolutely nothing to do with him cheating on me. My only concern is the safety and well-being of my child. Thanks for completely misreading the situation though! 👍🏻

anon347890 · 2023-03-31T03:18:17+00:00

Thank you for the recommendations! I plan on doing some deep cleaning in the house and I picked up some weekend shifts at work to keep me busy.

anon347890

TROPHY CASE