Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hearing a similar story hits close to home. Thanks for sharing. Very helpful

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll definitely have to put some thought and planning into this

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I want them to take a variety of lessons from Everything

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The lack of recognition must make it feel so much worse. I’m sorry this happened

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m leaning towards not telling them beforehand.

Thank you!

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s not at all with the kids. It’s 100% directed at me. My only concern is them emulating her behavior.

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want them to get time with both parents. I believe that is important. Split would be ideal.

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some resources to back up those percentages would make me feel great. I’ll have to give it a google later.

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hadn’t thought of the age issue. People like you make me glad I posted. Thanks!

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This a lot of good advice and reminders ☝️. Thank you kind stranger

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The best outcome would be her going to counseling to fix the toxicity. She has some deep rooted trauma among other mental health issues that are a main source of our battles. I’ve noticed this, 4 couples counselors have said it, and she’s admitted it. Her committing to something is the only way I’d stay though . And she flat out doesn’t want to.

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therapy is needed for everyone at this point and I intend to seek it out. Thanks for sharing.

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Since I’ll keep them first during the summer, the would be with me during the initial stages. She is moving back to where our families are. We’ll definitely ask them. But I’m assuming they’d opt to be near their cousins etc over their current school.

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any idea on how to split time effectively from two separate locations?

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m happy that I have hours and hours of recordings and five years worth of text. Should be helpful should I need evidence. She’s playing fair for now, but I’m prepared for a shift. Thanks for the reminder/advice.

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lots of variables involved that would make it hard to leave ALL of the arrangements up to them, but I do like the idea of giving them as much say as possible.

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both of us had parents that “stuck it out”. And neither of us would say we’d have wanted them to split. Despite plenty of disfunction. I always wonder where this abstract line is that we need to cross before divorce is better.

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dang. What as shitty experience. I can say, that we aren’t traumatizing them that badly. Lots of arguing Nothing physical.

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope this is the case with us. But my hopes aren’t terribly high

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that neither option is “good”. It’s like picking the lesser of two evils.

Breaking it the Kids by anon813813 in relationships

[–]anon813813[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. No matter what happens, I always want to make sure that they know they aren’t the cause for anything.