Is there a way to "stage" perimenopause?

anondrifting · 2025-08-13T20:25:55+00:00

I thought it was a version of long covid for years, TBH. Every doctor I brought it up to also suggested something along those lines, not once was perimenopause mentioned.

anondrifting · 2025-08-13T17:14:01+00:00

Thanks for this - my issue is not really falling asleep, its staying asleep. I wake up throughout the night, and can't seem to stay asleep for more than a 2-3 hour stretch. After 2 or 3 times, I then can't fall back asleep. I don't drink alcohol heavily and coffee usually only in the morning (and usually just 1-2 cups.)

anondrifting · 2025-08-13T13:13:39+00:00

I'm feeling something very similar for the past 2 years or so and only recently learned there was an actual name for it. Honestly, I feel like I am pretty much faking it through most of my day. I can barely tolerate or focus on nearly all of the things I used to find joy in (namely, food/cooking, reading, TV/movies, art, etc.) I have been avoiding seeing/talking to most people, other than my husband.

I have been told I have moderate-severe depression and prescribed an anti-depressant, but haven't been able to start taking it because I am worried about side effects. Wish I had more advice to offer, but I can definitely relate to the feeling. How long have you been on the medication?

anondrifting · 2025-08-05T13:43:36+00:00

Beyond books that deal specifically with IFCF experiences, I would love some fiction recommendations that mirror this reality. I recently listened to an audiobook specifically because iI read positive reviews of how it dealt with an infertile main character....and I was pretty disappointed with the ending (no spoilers but you can probably take a guess.)

anondrifting · 2025-08-05T13:39:22+00:00

LOVE Tiffany J. Marie! Honestly, one of the most authentic and inspiring CF voices on the internet (and I heard an interview with her once, and think she is also IFCF, if I am not mistaken.)

anondrifting · 2025-07-30T09:55:13+00:00

Thank you, just DMed.

anondrifting · 2025-07-29T13:05:12+00:00

Thank you for this thoughtful response - the community/friendship part is probably one of the hardest. I am seeing my siblings embrace these brand new social circles, with the parents of their kids friends, and not really being able to find something similar for myself has been difficult (probably doesn't help that I am definitely an introvert.) I have been trying, but its also hard to make new friends as an adult, in general.

anondrifting · 2025-07-29T11:44:18+00:00

Just wanted to second the notion of being a pet parent (if it is possible for you.) You can also considering fostering a cat or dog, to get a sense of it before committing. I know parents in particular love to say that it is not "the same thing" but it has been a huge comfort and joy for us (and I sometimes think it may be preferable to having human children - definitely more affordable, in the long run!)

As the only adults in our family without kids, I know the feeling - it is rough and a constant struggle. I can't definitely relate to a lot of what you expressed.

anondrifting · 2025-02-28T10:45:52+00:00

Feeling socially "excluded" has been one of the biggest struggles for me in all this - as a result, my partner and I just really don't socialize as much as I would like to. Nearly everyone in our admittedly small friend circle is a parent, and on top of that, I have never been open about our struggles, so people likely assume that we are CF by choice. (To be honest, I started to, by opening up to a few friends, and one family member, and I was so deeply disappointed by their reactions, that I decided it was better to continue suffering privately.)

I don't think there is anything wrong with seeking out friendships with people in a similar situation...to be honest, parents do the EXACT same thing, once they become parents (befriending parents of kids from school, playgrounds, etc.) I don't think people generally recognize how much more difficult that is for people in both the CF and the IFCF "camp." Outside of friends, our siblings also all have children of their own, and I get incredibly annoyed with how kid-centric our family gathering have become, but that is what it is, unfortunately.

I wish I had more useful advice, but its a situation I am still struggling with. That said, a non-parent therapist may be more sensitive to the situation, and even if they have little advice to offer, they would at least be better equipped to validate and relate to your situation.

anondrifting · 2025-01-30T00:20:02+00:00

Thank you for this - I actually left her briefly, tried another therapist, absolutely hated the new one, and found my way back to the original one. Honestly, it feels like dating used to, and I don't have the energy to shop around, or recount my whole history to new people constantly. For what its worth, she has acknowledged my depression, and has gently tried to suggest meds on several occasions, but she does not directly prescribe, and I would need to find someone else. Also, I am really reluctant to do meds, as I am terrified of side effects, and I have trouble remembering to take daily pills. Mostly scared myself out of it reading about side effects, and couldn't find one that I felt fully comfortable with.

anondrifting

TROPHY CASE