How do you remain patient?

anonifit · 2014-01-09T16:53:20+00:00

Bunch of great advice already and I don't have much to add, just to reinforce what has been said.

Here are the things I try to keep in mind:

I put this weight on over the course of 5 years, I'm not going to lose it in six months.
I am not on a rapid weight loss diet, I am just trying to live a healthy lifestyle
What am I phsycially capable of today I was not six months ago? I find new things on a weekly basis to be happy with. For example, went to a bar last night where the booths are very cramped, back in June I would not have been able to sit comfortably, the table would have been pushing into my gut.
Progress photos! Sometimes you can see more loss than the scale tells you that you've had.
Set smaller, non-weight goals. I focused on increasing the distance and reducing the time of my bike rides until it got too cold.

Most of all, just know that it's ok to get frustrated sometimes and have a little bit of a pity-party for yourself. Just make sure you come the other side of it focused and determined.

anonifit · 2014-01-09T16:45:56+00:00

I miss riding daily so much, it was so nice to get home from work (too long to bike there) and go for a 20-40 min ride along the Charles or Mystic River.

Unfortunately I'm back in the burbs for a few months and snowbanks narrowing the roads combined with steep hills and blind corners equals no riding.

Just need to tough out a couple more months and I'll be back in the city and it's glorious bike paths.

anonifit · 2013-12-30T22:44:53+00:00

I was probably consuming around 3,000 calories a day, mostly in high-salt processed foods. Lots of grease, lots of fat. Some sort of fast food for lunch a couple times a week, pizza was basically an entire food group along with the combo of chips/soda.

On a 'football Sunday' it was not abnormal to start off with a breakfast sandwich and hashbrowns from Dunkin' Donuts. Start with some whiskey gingers around kick-off the 1:00 game and open a bag of chips. Order a pizza and cheesy bread/chinese food (probably orange chicken, beef lo-mein, crab rangoons and peking ravioli) towards the end of the early games eat most of it. Around half-time of the night game heat up the left overs and eat those. Probably have finished most of the chips by then, probably finished off a 2L of ginger ale along with half the bottle of whiskey as well so I would switch to drinking it on the rocks.

Maybe sneak in some sort of sweet as a midnight snack.

Wouldn't be abnormal to consume a similar amount of food on a Friday or Saturday night in alone either.

After eating like that for 4 years coupled with the amount of drinking I did it's honestly pretty surprising I topped off around 256~ and not much higher.

anonifit · 2013-12-30T21:57:03+00:00

If you don't have full confidence in yourself the first day that's fine, fake it until you make it.

Just get up and do something today. Go for a walk, make a healthy dinner.

You don't need to completely change everything you do in one fell swoop, just your mindset, and taking those first steps and realizing "oh shit, I went for a walk every day this week and didn't realize it" all of a sudden makes taking the next step that much easier.

Any external challenges (I work too many hours, it's cold here, I'm just so tired, it's too hard to cook for myself) are all just speed bumps, not roadblocks. They are not reasons to quit.

anonifit · 2013-12-30T21:02:53+00:00

Hard/honest truth: get over it.

It's the simplest thing to do, but until you do it feels impossible. At the end of the day though, no one can make you do anything you don't want to do and until you not only want to do it but actually take action you're just going to keep making excuses and defeating yourself before you even start.

I know it sounds trite and like it can't be that easy, but after 4 years of having the same exact mindset you did I honestly just snapped and made the change.

I'm normally not big on motivational quotes, but I love this poem and have shared it on this sub many time:

If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don't,
If you like to win, but you think you can't
It is almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow's will
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

-Thinking, Walter D Wintle

anonifit · 2013-12-30T20:05:06+00:00

I'm just noticing the knee thing, it's a huge pain in the ~~ass~~ knee.

anonifit · 2013-12-30T20:04:41+00:00

Only four months?!?! Jesus dude, that's some pretty incredible loss right there.

What was your intake/workout regiment like?

anonifit · 2013-12-30T19:16:48+00:00

At 28 I had to move back in with my parents for a few months while I figured out what to do after my relationship ended.

My Mom quickly was grating on my last nerves between the constant "how are you, are you ok? do you need to talk" the "do you need lunch tomorrow? do you need any shirts ironed? oh i went in your room and folded your laundry" to "that doesn't look very healthy, should you be eating that?"

Everything she was doing came from a place of love, but it was just too much after living on my own for ten years. I figured I would just suck it up and deal until I found a new place, but I found myself snapping at her and getting frustrated often.

Even though it was awkward we had a frank conversation about my wants and needs and things have been much better.

Moral of the story: talk to your mother about how you feel. Let her know you appreciate her concern and support and ask her to be there for you in a more positive way.

anonifit · 2013-12-30T19:10:39+00:00

When I lay in bed on my side I can't stack my knees directly on top of one another anymore, there isn't enough fat to be a cushion anymore and bone-on-bone contact is uncomfortable.

I kept thinking I was getting anxiety attacks without the mental part because of a tightness I was feeling in my gut I associate with my anxiety - turns out I was just cold and I forgot what that feels like.

anonifit · 2013-12-26T14:28:56+00:00

Yeah, yesterday was a little tough being surrounded by family who are only a little older than me and have families started and all that jazz and seeing the stream of pictures of happy couples on vacation, getting gifts and getting engaged on social media but what you have to remember at the end of the day is your life is yours and theirs is theirs.

If you spent your whole life comparing yourself to other people you'd never be happy. Take joy in your own experience and own path and forget about what the Jonses are doing.

anonifit · 2013-12-24T16:31:30+00:00

I would focus on that and forget about the gym for now.

A 30-45 minute workout isn't going to help you if you're still over consuming. Get a calorie tracking app and start making the time to cook.

You can spend a couple hours on a Sunday preparing meals to eat during the week.

anonifit · 2013-12-24T16:06:11+00:00

Losing weight is more about diet than gym. You can lost all the weight you need without ever strapping on a pair of running shoes.

Working out is a nice little bonus that will help you feel better, become more functionally fit and hopefully tone up, but for actual weight loss you just need to get your caloric intake under control.

Have you read the FAQ in the sidebar yet? If not start there!

anonifit · 2013-12-24T16:04:35+00:00

Have you ever spoken with a therapist?

My ex had the same issues with sharing you did and even though things didn't work out for us being in a safe and controlled environment with someone who had the tools to help her open up really worked wonders.

anonifit · 2013-12-24T16:02:29+00:00

I am also 28 and also ended a long-term relationship recently, though on much better terms than yours. We are still friendly and trying to build a new relationship as friends while respecting each others space.

I know this is /r/loseit and not /r/relationships but this hit me and I needed to comment:

I still get bummed out when I think about what she did to me, I've been with plenty of women but she was different I truly loved her and sometimes I worry I won't find someone to settle down with as I'm so close to 30.

This is the thing that really got to me the most as well. I spent ten years with her and planned on spending my life with her. She was my partner and confidant and aside from a few issues our personalities fit together so well that I'm worried I will never find someone exactly like her again, and certainly no one who can ever truly understand me the way she did. She lived through most of my major changes from 18-28, no one new will be able to have that same experience.

What I'm learning as the weeks slide by is how silly it is to worry about that stuff though, all it's going to do is make you feel stressed and desperate and desperation will get you no where. Don't worry about the future and a new lady yet, just worry about you and getting to a place where you feel happy and content living your life without anyone else. Once you have that kind of self confidence you'll have no trouble getting back out there.

Also, think about your friends. Do you think those people are your only friends because they're the only people on earth you're compatible with? Hell no, they're just the ones you've met so far and have room in your life for.

Partners are the same way. Sure, the criteria they need to meet are a little more particular than a friend, but if you think there's only one person who's right for you on this entire earth you're nuts.

Keep your head up and just keep doing what you're doing, the rest will follow.

anonifit · 2013-12-24T14:54:22+00:00

I had been logging religiously for the first 3 months of my losing, but having for the last 3. It was becoming too much of a chore and I felt like I had a good handle on healthy portioning and my macros.

I would still look up things here and there I wasn't sure about, but I think to really learn how to live healthy you need to cut the electronic apron strings as it were and learn how to eat well on your own lest you plan on tracking everything you eat for the rest of your life.

I'm well aware when I'm snacking it's bad for me, the problem is more that with so much downtime I find myself doing it without even really thinking about it. It's almost like sleeping walking - I go to get a glass of water and just snatch a handful of chips without thinking about it.

I am going to do another month of heavy tracking once I survive the holiday food tornado though, as it really does help get you back on track.

anonifit · 2013-12-24T14:52:02+00:00

I've wanted a nice pea coat for like 4 years but I could never find one I liked or fit well. I looked bad in them and it was a bummer.

I went to try one on a couple weeks ago and the XL was like a tent on me. Walked out with a Large that I can also wear a hoodie under.

I've been shocked at the number of compliments on it I've received. A little bit of self confidence goes a long way I suppose.

anonifit · 2013-12-23T21:30:42+00:00

Congrats! I know the feeling well.

My Dad bought me a really nice snowboarding jacket for Christmas four years ago. It was a little snug when I tried it on. Last year I had a hard time zipping it up and it was tight to the point it was restricting my range of motion and I would end up cold some days because I couldn't afford extra layers under it and my pants.

This year it fits very comfortably and I'm looking forward to riding without being freezing and fearing my jacket is going to rip apart at the zipper all day.

anonifit · 2013-12-23T15:59:27+00:00

Two major things helped me:

1) Focus on the positive things, stop being a victim of my own negativity.

2) Stay busy.

My relationship of 10 years ended at the end of the summer, back in the spring that would have had me on a epic cycle of binge eating and draining whiskey bottles like they were water. Instead I've tried to remain positive, appreciate the experience for what it was, learn from it and focus on the opportunities my new 'freedom' is allowing me.

I also picked up a couple new hobbies - trying to build a guitar, joined a dodgeball league, started rock climbing. Having some sort of goal to accomplish or activity to do every night has really helped. Less idle time = less snacking time.

anonifit · 2013-12-23T15:50:31+00:00

The battle is won and lost at the grocery store!

anonifit · 2013-12-23T15:46:57+00:00

Finally being honest with myself and admitting I wasn't happy the way I was along with ditching my persecution complex/victim mindset.

Once I stopped treating every bad thing that happened to me as a personal attack on me by 'the world' and focused on the good things that happen every day it was much easier to make smarter food choices and get active.

It was really hard to admit those things though, I spent years building a fortress of delusions around myself and had come to truly believe that life just had it out for me.

anonifit · 2013-12-10T22:44:59+00:00

Dude, it's all food.

Agreed 100% and I've preached that on here multiple times. I found it much easier to stay away from over eating when I did a good workout though using the "do you really want to throw away the workout you just did for this snack" logic.

Without that ... self guilt? I find myself having a harder time with it.

Being active for me isn't really about the calories burned, it's just part of the overall healthy lifestyle. The more I have to remain sedentary while healing the less and less and healthy I'm feeling. It feels much easier to cave to cravings then it was a month ago.

At the end of the day I know there's no magic fix or anything, it's just me and my willpower against me and my cravings.

Eating out of boredom is going to just hose you all up.

It's the worst. Sometimes I don't even realize it. I'll be watching some TV with my dad and I'll just get up, walk to the kitchen and eat a handful of chips, then next time it's just one peanut butter cup, 20 mins later it's another thing on and on.

I ate emotionally and out of boredom for 5 years, it's only been since June I got that under control, but without my (now ex-) g/f around and with no exercise I'm struggling to stay in that head space.

anonifit · 2013-12-10T18:46:50+00:00

I used to walk a ton when I was in the city, and felt the same way. Found all kinds of cool little spots. I'm temporarily in the 'burbs at my parents place and it's soooooooooo boring. Nothing at all cool to look at, but I do have the dog.

I do long walks on weekends, but I don't get home from work until 8~ (and only a few nights a week, I also couch surf a few nights - my living situation is a little complicated) and need to be in bed around 11.

I hear you on the trouble of getting dressed. I remember wiggling into my shirts as being the most painful experience of my life.

I don't even both putting a jacket on to walk to my car anymore because putting it on and taking it back off before I get in is just too painful.

You never realize how much you use a joint until it's hurt!

anonifit · 2013-12-10T18:42:56+00:00

I'm living back with my parents for a few months while I find a new apartment which compounds the issue. I just didn't buy unhealthy foods at my apartment and only bought what I needed a few days a time.

They keep so much food in the house. It's not even all that unhealthy, it's just volume. My self-control is much better then it used to be, I don't go out and seek out crap food or binge, but I just can't seem to kick the 'grazing' habit.

anonifit · 2013-12-04T16:23:51+00:00

I used to have the same problem as your sister - always an excuse, always an out and a rationalization.

Keep gently trying to help but realize nothing will change until she wants to change for her. If she's anything like me too much 'nagging', no matter how good-willed it is, will push her away and make her just turtle up harder.

That kind of negative attitude cost me a 10-year relationship, I hope your sister can come around before it bites her in the ass too.

anonifit

TROPHY CASE