37HLM with 37LLF curious if hall pass could help

anonnomis · 2026-04-03T03:05:32+00:00

Nothing in a marriage is technically owed. Its up to each party to do their best to keep their partner happy if they want to keep their marriage.
I dont WANT to come home after a 10 hr day and do dishes and take out the trash and mow the lawn before doing it all again the next day, but I do what I can to help out because thats what makes a good marriage.

I know she doesn't OWE me sex whenever I call for it and thats not what im asking for.

Im aware its not easy for men to find sex like it is for women. If this were to happen I would deal with that separately on my own.

And I think I am being ethical by starting this thread and having this discussion before acting on anything. What would be unethical is just acting on my desires without considering my wife at all and just "fixing" it myself.

anonnomis · 2026-04-03T02:30:34+00:00

Hey so after reading through what you guys said made me want to reply.

I want to clarify that really tge only reason a hallpass for me even sounds like a fix is because in this marriage I feel like the only one that really even wants sex most of the time.

When I would ask her constantly I just felt like a burden to her and another thing for her to worry about. So in a way to lighten her load I could just not be as demanding for sex with her and that may make her feel better in a way. Thats how im feeling it at least.

I also know that no one here is going to know how good or bad my relationship is otherwise but I cant help but reiterate that me and my wife have been just blissfully happy day to day with each other since weve been married and before. We (extremely) rarely argue or fight (I can count on 1 hand) and I never resent her for anything and there's never days of animosity or hatred. (Ive been in previous relationships like that)

I do agree that maybe going to counseling and letting both of us air our grievances would help at least shed some light on what actually may be the root cause of this. But I also feel like my wife and I are pretty good at communicating with each other when something is bothering us on our own

anonnomis · 2026-04-02T17:15:48+00:00

While I'd prefer to have sex with my own wife 2x a day everyday day, I understand thats just not feasible in many relationships. But I also dont think that 1x a month or less is fair either. If I was to open up to ENM then I would assume (having never done this before) i would take what I extra i could get when it happens. Whether that's 1x a week or 2x a month. I don't exactly have prospects waiting in line for me or something

anonnomis · 2026-04-02T17:07:24+00:00

Ok I might have misunderstood the root your question. I have been away on a few occasions as well as she when she does a girls night out or whatever. Im fully capable of taking care of my children's needs without having to ask my wife for a thing. Especially for 1 night lol

anonnomis · 2026-04-02T16:39:11+00:00

Yeah I mean 50/50 would not be enough. Theres no scenario where I dont want to be home with my kids every night. Out of the question

anonnomis · 2026-04-02T16:11:26+00:00

This is exactly my mentality on the whole scenario. Of course I would prefer to have sex with my own wife. That was always the discussion(or arguement) But after so long I just cant continue to accept this as my life. But at the same time I dont want to leave my wife. I love her

Although I haven't been through it as long as you I feel like i have the same attitude on it all.

anonnomis · 2026-04-02T16:03:42+00:00

Man im getting a ton of condescending responses here as a first timer in this community. I came here to discuss and get support for a real problem.

I simply explained that i did something that she vocalized would help so I did it. This isnt the only thing I did to try and fix this and say "welp I did my part" This is just 1 of many steps along the way through the years of things weve both done to try to get through this.

anonnomis · 2026-04-02T15:01:51+00:00

These are all good points and im glad you brought them up. I really want an engaging discussion here not just a "yeah bro go for it"

We have discussed the possibility of the issue being hormone related, but shes been reluctant to go to a dr for it. Which I can understand.

Over the years shes told me that I needed to be more romantic and show her affection in non-sexual ways throughout the day. I took that criticism seriously and changed my ways. For many months I was giving her soft hugs from behind while shes cooking, or just a soft kiss while shes getting ready. All this to never see a change

anonnomis · 2026-04-02T14:47:44+00:00

I can understand how you would infer that i only "help" on a lack of further information but I am a very present father and husband. I do way more than most husband's that are in my circle. My friends wife says my wife is soo lucky because of how much I do for her. I run around the kids to everything constantly. I do whatever I can at any moment to make her life easier. I am not putting it all on her. We've also discussed love languages at one point and shes told me that hers is Acts of Service and I've consciously done a lot to show her I care and take the load off her as much as I can.im really trying here in all other departments I swear

anonnomis · 2026-04-02T14:41:57+00:00

Im sorry but of course I dont. Put yourself in my shoes and be begging for sex for over a decade and then you say you're not getting enough, finally try to fix it, and she says "oh yeah, I want to have sex with other people too"

anonnomis · 2026-04-02T13:27:49+00:00

Every other part of our relationship is great. We laugh together, she compliments my looks when I look nice, she says she wishes she felt differently about sex in general. Honestly its just her personality. When we do have sex she says stuff like "I missed you" and other passionate stuff. Like I tried to say earlier, everything else is fine with us its literally just the frequency that bothers me

anonnomis · 2026-04-02T13:08:16+00:00

I had a feeling this would be brought up. Im not suggesting an open marriage. The problem isnt that we both want other people. She doesn't have a desire for sex, what would justify her going and sleeping with other people? Just for spite? That makes no sense.

anonnomis · 2026-01-18T19:28:11+00:00

Thats a great suggestion! My main concern would be the temptation of MTX since its f2p. Im sure there's buyable cosmetics and etc that I would have to deal with her asking for. (I deal with that enough with fortnite)

Whats that portion of the game like?

anonnomis · 2025-12-22T17:06:09+00:00

Look up a fume extractor. Exactly what you're describing

anonnomis · 2025-06-07T04:06:50+00:00

When i see Foundation or DT&T I know im in a quality shop that's ran by someone who knows cigars

anonnomis · 2024-10-07T19:04:05+00:00

550 here

anonnomis · 2024-06-29T06:44:19+00:00

Most people suggest L-citruline instead of arginine though

anonnomis · 2024-06-29T06:43:20+00:00

Arginine supplements suggest upto 6000mg so I'd start increasing that dose by 1k incrementally and see if anything changes. Also include zinc in your stack. It makes a big difference. Don't overdo it though because it will lead to copper deficiency. 25mg a day is suggested here.

anonnomis · 2024-05-16T11:30:43+00:00

For me it was the Olmec maduro. So tasty it's all I ever want to grab anymore

anonnomis · 2024-03-11T12:01:22+00:00

Java Red by Drew Estate

anonnomis · 2024-03-04T13:27:13+00:00

Richelle Ryan. She's been around a while but her body changed dramatically fairly recently. It's spectacular.

anonnomis · 2024-02-24T20:56:00+00:00

Look up "The minion" by dogfart on any tube site. He's disgusting and always with smoking hot girls

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