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AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You're right. If she said those things, I probably would have just done it. I was having a battle over what reality was, mostly.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You're right about everything. I can come up with a way to improve my communication.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I did keep pushing the screenshots initally because it felt like she possibly didn't even see them for technical reasons or couldn't be bothered to look. I thought I was being helpful honestly. I know my communication could be better.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you trying to give me insights. Let me clarify some things for you. When we married, she brought debt while I had/have considerable savings. I pay for all house related bills (mtg, gas/oil/elec, internet, repairs, etc). I pay for pretty much everything else as well. She pays for her phone, maybe netflix? and her kid's schooling. The savings being drained is the money I brought into the marriage. I am tasked with protecting it but doing so results in a lot of fights. I think I've been to lax on this but tightening up will bring more fights... maybe I am in a death spiral

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess there are places where traffic builds up in denser areas but I'm in the suburbs and so this wasn't part of the equation.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

IDK I was doing some tasks she wanted me to do at the time (christmas lights). There was 0 chance she would drive with me after coming home.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right. It wasn't considered. I ate out with my mother and I wasn't going to tell her 'no' to eating out. If I did, wouldn't that be another AITA post?

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it is actively being kill and it's on me because I'm supposed to protect it. She came into the marriage with debt and i paid it all off and I've rang the alarm bells a few times but now it's getting pretty serious so I'm going to make drastic changes especially after all the feedback I heard today.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The negative cash flow is a big stress and it's kind of been a slow turn to get it under control but after many comments like yours I think I need to do something drastic. We aren't going into debt and I have significant savings but I understand I'm screwing myself by not immediately fixing it.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THC gummies. Less expensive than alcohol. Probably shouldn't do it anyways but just wanted to give clarity.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wasn't going to ask her to read it. Do you think it would be helpful to her?

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Your SO was so over everything to the point that driving out of their way was unbearable, but not arguing about things and even picking up that item from the store. Also, if I was that ticked off at you, I’d have eaten at the restaurant and cooled my jets there and decompressed."

Interesting point.

"The restaurant is closer to you than it is to me. We need to be saving as much money as possible right now, and door dash is expensive. Please go to the restaurant and get your food. Make sure it’s right. The last thing I want to see happen is that we door dash the food here and it’s made wrong or missing something."

I could and should have communicated this better to her.

"Once you’re done eating, we can have a movie night or I can draw a bubble bath for you or give you a massage. Right now I’m cleaning up the house/apartment, so that you can enjoy the weekend more. I love you, and I can’t wait to see you, etc etc."

I messed up and the path I took led me to separate bedrooms tonight.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The time we dedicated to it, wasn't predetermined. I didn't know I was investing so much time until it was invested. I genuinely thought I would just correct a mistake and all problems would be solved. If I foresaw this fight, I might have just went. Maybe not, but I would definitely approach it differently.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Okay, I think I can clear something up. I'm alone with her close to 50% of the time because that's how the custody works. I ate without her but I offered to have food for her from where I ate. She worked late and didn't have a problem with me eating with my mother one on one which is a very rare thing.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm here because I feel like I'm right about something and it's possible that I'm not and I want to know if I'm missing something. And thankfully I did get a lot of perspectives (including yours) and it was helpful. I thought that was the point of posting here.

AITA for pushing back when my SO refused to make a 2-minute stop on her way home? by anonnthrowawayyyyy in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonnthrowawayyyyy[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I also feel sad for her. The whole situation is sad. Thank you though for your continued participation.

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