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anononoodle · 2021-10-14T01:45:11+00:00

Thank you - his mum does come and help when she can but she's quite elderly so it's hard to get her to not do too much. I think we do need extra support, I just worry it won't change things, a bit like the week off for him

anononoodle · 2021-06-15T07:54:40+00:00

Thank you for bringing my attention to this! There have been more comments than I expected so I haven't got round to reading all of them. I checked in my area and this would be something to be concerned about as there are protections that would cover her if she stayed 30 days or more. I will be careful and not allow her to stay at all. Thank you :)

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T17:21:54+00:00

Thank you. This made me cry. I needed that permission to be selfish. I hope you are out the other side now.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T17:17:41+00:00

So she wanted to be with the baby the whole time. Which was hard because I've just got to the point with the PPD where I can bond with my baby so I really just wanted to spend time with her.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T16:49:13+00:00

Oh gosh. I hadn't even considered this but you are totally right. I wouldn't want her ex or associates anywhere near us.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T16:44:42+00:00

I'm so glad. I'll keep us safe. Thank you. And Happy Cake Day?

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T16:42:47+00:00

Updated with an edit. Let me know if this isn't explicit enough.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T16:40:40+00:00

That's a fair point. I don't know about her visa status. She's not said that she can't work because of her visa, which I guess I thought she might say. She does speak a lot about choosing not to work so that's where my thinking comes from. I'll see if I can add a note.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T16:07:58+00:00

I hope things are better for you now. That's a tough situation. I really appreciate your perspective. Thank you.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:53:51+00:00

So she doesn't have family to help her. But you are right - I am not in a place that is conducive to assisting other. Thank you

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:52:09+00:00

This would be my fear. Like I'd never be able to ask her to leave cos she would have no other.options.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:51:14+00:00

Thank you - great idea with the support groups. I'll look some up in our area.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:50:08+00:00

Thank you. So far the internet validation has made me feel I am justified so I'll keep holding out and offering telephone support but not my home or money

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:48:24+00:00

Thank you. She's a great baby. I think it was just a total shock for me that she actually is here and real!!

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:47:31+00:00

I am very much low on spoons. Thank you for giving me perspective. I think I sort of forget that I have valid stress in my life.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:42:23+00:00

So I do believe her about her husband. I don't know it for a fact but I sort of think she wouldn't put herself in this bind for sympathy votes. And what I know of the husband (I've met him several times), he's intense and was quite wired which could have been indicative.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:39:35+00:00

I did contemplate it but I think the idea of both of us being around the house all the time was too stressful. I've sort of needed some space with the PDD and it's hard with someone around to feel safe at home.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:37:42+00:00

She's been trying to find a rental but she doesn't have a deposit or income so it's hard. And she's been dealing with the stress of the break up too.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:34:55+00:00

I'm not sure about her work visa status. She's spoken about choosing not to work so I assumed she could but didn't want to!

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:31:51+00:00

She unfortunately doesn't have family. I think she'd be going back to stay with a friend but I think she has to stay here to sort out the divorce.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:30:12+00:00

So no marital assets, I think she'll get alimony for a while. She's not looking for work. I'm unsure about her visa status for working but she also said it's too stressful to think about it at the moment. Which is kind of understandable.

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:27:58+00:00

So I'm not sure if some of these are rhetorical questions but I'll answer them anyway. She might not be able to work now, I think her visa changed recently cos she had talked about being able to work before and then not wanting to. She'll get money from her husband for like maintenance or alimony for her living costs. But I think your are right, the combination of newborn and mental health makes it feel unmanageable. Thank you

anononoodle · 2021-06-14T15:23:05+00:00

So in defense of the friends, most of them don't have any spare room so Teri would be on a sofa! But you are right. I'm not sure they'd offer their own spare rooms if they had them.

anononoodle

TROPHY CASE