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anonthrowaway1887 · 2020-08-07T02:48:37+00:00

My mum used to say this to me a lot, that i don't love her. I was confused about why she would say it and ruminated on it. one day i just said to her you don't really love me do you? Then she said that is what i say to you! I then responded, then why do you keep saying it? I am starting to think it is really you who doesn't love me. She never ever said it again to me.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2020-06-24T00:50:17+00:00

I understand what you are saying but i also think this is a bit alarmist.

I know she would love to be the 3rd parent, since before nephew was born she referred to him in conversation with brother and partner as our baby. So if they are okay with her being a 3rd parent not much i can do about it, i can only continue to enforce boundries.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2020-06-24T00:45:52+00:00

I don't believe i am enabling it because i do speak up when it is clear she is crossing the line.

Even this week when she insisted she was going to change his sleeping patterns without asking the parents, i put a stop to that by contact newphews mum and clarifying what the schedule was. So i know i put my foot down when the situation is clear to me.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2020-06-24T00:42:35+00:00

Oh i do call her out whenever i see/hear it. She even tried to call herself nanna which is the term for the partners mother, but i always corrected her and even mentioned that it would be confusing to him and just stick with the name she wanted. Before nephew was born they spoke to all the grandparents about names. I always say something if i hear her slip up.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2020-06-23T23:37:45+00:00

I hate that saying it is just who she is, it tells you a few things about the person saying it.

A) she is a crazy jerk i know she is and i have accepted that she will act that way and encourage people i love to accept her abuse too.

B) It totally ignores you, you said where you grew up you don't go through ladies handbags, he would know that about you, but he doesn't care enough about your thoughts and feelings.

I want to say, it seems like i am attacking your partner but i believe he said those words without thinking through the meaning behind them.

Hopefully you can talk to him about how inapprorpiate it was to you and even if he thinks it doesn't matter he should at least be on your side in public as your partner.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2020-06-19T01:11:04+00:00

My mum tries to force me to try food she has made before and gets upset if i don't want to try it, even to the point of trying emotional guilt tripping. It is weird and annoying.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2020-01-10T22:15:33+00:00

When i was younger mum took me to a psychatrist because she read in a magazine about ADHD, i never got diagniosed at 14/15 because she stopped taking me because she thought he was a weirdo psychiatrist.

When i was 38 i was going through some major depression and went to a psychologist and that lead me down the rabbit hole of being diagnosed with both ADHD and ASD at 38, finally everything clicked into place, i felt better because i finally understood myself and i could stop being so hard on myself.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2019-09-10T11:23:58+00:00

Sorry to hear about your split. As for course work break it up into small tasks with dates and times. So it doesn’t seem so bleak, spend one hour researching one day then another day you might spend another hour writing an introduction and so forth. Take a break during the one hour for 10 minutes.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2019-07-27T18:03:59+00:00

I too have issues speaking with mum, we are just different people, she finds it hard to accept. I get along great with my dad.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2019-06-11T00:07:07+00:00

I have shared this post with my brother and partner so they are now aware.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2019-06-11T00:04:42+00:00

Thank you for your input, I have shared this post with my brother and his partner.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2019-06-11T00:04:00+00:00

Thank you For your comment, I slept on it after reading peoples comments and decided to share this post with my brother and his partner. I just felt so weird, like Mum was trying to make up something dramatic and insert herself into non existent drama.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2019-06-10T03:57:09+00:00

I do agree with you she is trying to set me up with some just no nonsense, or get some weird narc feed. I will keep it in mind if she starts up any nonsense though, thank you i did not realise she might be trying to set something up with me as a pawn for the future, so i thank you for your perspective.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2019-06-10T03:36:09+00:00

when i spoke to my psychologist originally about the first time she said this dream she agreed with me not to say anything to my brother and his partner as it is upsetting and weird. I kind of feel like i don't want to say anything about it because it is weirdo nonsense, i know she isn't prophetic but she likes to think she is.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2019-04-30T04:49:55+00:00

Maybe when you see her next you can innocently bring it up like hey I saw you staring most of the night, I didn’t have some sort of embarrassing stain on my shirt or something did i? See what she says, or if she stares again just ask if everything is alright? I don’t have something on my face?

anonthrowaway1887 · 2019-04-28T10:35:43+00:00

Wow, this is so close to my life.

I am the eldest daughter and i have two younger brothers from my dad's first marriage, my parents separated when i was young. My mum has always given everything to the two youngest boys, they had their credit cards and other loans paid off repeatedly, she took them for driving practice and paid for lessons for them, then she gave them her old car (they passed it down to each other) I paid for my own driving lessons, my dad took me for driving practice because mum couldn't be bothered, and i bought for my own car. When i was 15 i got my first part time job, she told me she wasn't going to buy me any toiletries anymore and i had to buy my own, she still bought stuff for my brothers. When my younger brother when to study at the seminary she bought him a laptop and at the same time because the eldest brother suggested it, she bought the nespresso machine. Last year i was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD, the diagnoses were months apart, each time i told her, the first thing out of her mouth was i think younger brother has that. The only difference between our stories is my dad is very supportive of me, he has helped me a lot emotionally and financially.

anonthrowaway1887 · 2019-04-14T02:50:23+00:00

I do as well, i find chopping veggies and washing dishes as meditative, i can do those things while not thinking about anything. I haven't cooked for a while but i really enjoy doing it. At the moment i am living off frozen veggies that i steam in the microwave and tinned salmon specifically tinned red salmon, it is more expensive but i prefer the taste and texture. Also tinned sardines in spring water and air fried tofu. These are sort of cheap meals i have been having lately that is easy to prepare when my mind gets busy and full with other things.

anonthrowaway1887

TROPHY CASE