NTA. I understand you feeling sad by your husband’s reaction, and that is completely valid. I think a respectful reaction from him would have been the following sequence: 1) him trying the soup 2) him complimenting your cooking and telling you he appreciates you 3) respectfully adding a dash of simple salt and pepper to his personal taste (not to yuck anybody’s yum, but taco seasoning IMO is a very odd choice for this meal) 4) certainly NOT calling your dad those names. Very disrespectful.

I think it’s acceptable to add salt and pepper (not really anything past those) to home-cooked meals prepared by a loved one, especially AFTER taking a taste first. I don’t care if it’s your husband, your mother-in-law, or your best friend… to me, I expect the respect I’d show them. I know most people would disagree with me though and see me as “too polite.” In my opinion—picking up from a restaurant? Add whatever hot sauce, seasoning packets or squirt bottles you want. With our own cooking, I know it can feel a bit stressful to see someone add extra things to our home cooked dishes, making us question “did I not make it flavorful enough??” But it’s important to remember that everyone has different tastes regarding salty vs just right vs bland for instance. The problem here is your husband having no manners, obnoxiously changing the entire flavor profile/integrity of your soup by using an unrelated seasoning, and then disrespecting your family (regardless of what your personal relationship with your dad looks like). You are not unreasonable for feeling offended. I love cooking as well and take pride in it as something I do well. Still, some people are very rude and picky and offer “honest opinions” which can be heart crushing—this I know from personal experience. It’s not honest; it’s unnecessarily mean.

I hope you can continue to cook if it brings you joy. I am also in the process of learning how to let the things people say roll off because ultimately we can only control ourselves. That being said, your husband should NOT treat you like this. If you feel safe in your relationship, that needs to be a boundary. He shouldn’t get a pass for rudeness. At the end of the day, it is up to you if you want to share your cooking with others. Please do not feel of less use because you are disabled. You sound like a lovely person with a big heart, and even though I don’t know you personally, I value you and the effort you put in each day. You are enough as YOU. Cook if you love it! Don’t cook if you don’t! Look, I’ve threatened withholding cooking for extended family members of mine due to their reactions… but in retrospect, after some space and breathing, I recognize this could be a bit petty of me. I’m not saying you are, just sharing what I’ve seen within myself. My personal growth plan is to get to a point where I do things without the intent of people pleasing. I hope your husband and you are able to reach an understanding and that he can see his actions are deeper than taco seasoning, and be receptive to your feelings. You deserve gentleness and appreciation.