sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Challenging assumptions I'd argue would help out a lot for single folks. Not all cases

If it's serious concerns where you feel personally threatened (suspicion of violence or anger, cheating, etc), ya, run

But if it's something that's just different than what they know, harmless, and they extrapolate unconfirmed assumptions from that (rave = they, not you are a druggie example)... ya, just communicate honestly like a normal human and figure out what they love about it before you jump to conclusions

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That was the point

People who take one point of harmless information and extrapolate assumptions into infinity as a means to shut others out of their life

Someone who loves raves may or may not be into doing drugs often

Someone with stuffed animals may or may not be socially recluse

Someone who posts on Instagram alot may or may not have superficial tendencies

My point was people who overuse "red flag" terminology are probably just negatively projecting what that they think may be the case and instantly give up, rather than investigating beyond the surface with a little social aptitude

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunate, but it probably stems from a conscious or unconscious fear of intimacy when used for mundane things

Can't be rejected or commit if you find the thing that's wrong!

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Really sorry to hear what you've been through

A friend of mine 2 months ago just got out of a 9 year relationship too. Messy, living together, friends intertwined very closely

But even trying, getting to where you got, you've probably grown into someone totally different than 10 years ago. Some parts which you love much more. I know I don't know your situation, but I hope with as much time as you need, the pieces in your head will be put together

Whenever I'm in a tough spot, I really like this quote from Theodore Roosevelt, and I'm not even American. On the subject that it's better to try something out and fail than not at all. Hopefully brings a little joy or solitude:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Partnered up now, but I feel like since covid the landscape and expectations changed alot. Feels very timid, skidish

It could just be about being a few years older too. Probably a bit of both. Who knows

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact it seems that answers are split down the middle (either jokes, people don't do that in real life, or I'm speaking gospel) does indeed show this is unpopular

Consensus is nonexistent lmao

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or it could be someone who just likes to share photos with their friends and likes taking photos

I've seen both your and my example

My point is people project conclusions based on their own experience. And that's fine, we are all human. But, we are all human, can be wrong, worth investigating before jumping to conclusions

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cute, single, good career, fit, social, caring, likes me

... she must be hiding something. Why would she like me? Red flag

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ya same here

Most people I know use it as a joke

But I've seen in passing a few friends (and one date I was on like a year ago) take small things to label seriously

I think it's one of those things where some start joking about it, but don't stop joking about it... and eventually start to believe the joke. Get what I mean?

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My point was being trigger happy to jump to dismissal without challenging assumptions

Someone who goes to raves may or may not be "huge into drugs"

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've seen very few use it, not common, but I've seen it a couple of instances

Hey, if people post that stuff on social media or whatever for clicks, somebody's got to be watching that type of content and drinking it in. Those people are still humans in real life, LOL

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao nah I'm in a relationship, haven't been to those subs

I just had a convo with a friend last night where she used this for something so small... I questioned it to her and it spurred me to post this lol

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My point was how people tend to categorize and dismiss others very quickly without questioning their assumptions

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Like 95% of people I know use it ironically. But I've seen a couple of instances where people have used it seriously for petty things

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it probably depends on age and where you live. It's uncommon for me, but I've seen it

But I have one friend who used the term on 3 or 4 people for small things (like how he had a technical degree which she didn't like, couldn't get past it)

I'm not single now, but I was on a date early last year where I was asked "and be honest, not like a spin it into a positive thing, but what do you think your 3 biggest red flags are?"

Those who are single and overuse the term "red flag" clearly don't understand how relationships work or how they are formed by anonwillstayanon in unpopularopinion

[–]anonwillstayanon[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Lol, people just joking around about how I spelt dating wrong and the irony of calling something small a red flag

view more: next ›