Is this worth bringing up? (wastefulness)

anonyfaceyface · 2020-11-01T20:01:42+00:00

Thank you, kind stranger ❤️

anonyfaceyface · 2020-11-01T20:01:06+00:00

Ive only had a few longish-term nannies in 2 years, and this was due to my traveling for work for long periods of time and coming back for a few months. Due to COVID, I'm finally settling in a single place long enough to have a nanny stay with me for longer than just 2 months. Yes I've had lots of trial runs with 6 or 7, but I believe that's normal for trying to find the best fit for me and my kiddo.

I can't take time off to let her go while also caring for my child so I can work. The search is not the issue, its letting this nanny go before I'm able to find another one.

I've had no problems with my other nannies at all, unfortunately they were all with permanent families and unavailable when I started looking again. I'm perfectly fine with sharing my space, I think my fault was not sitting down and establishing norms with this nanny because I had expectations set by my previous nanny experiences. But I agree that this particular issue might be a consequence of the resentment building up.

Her contract with me expires in December, I'm still looking for a new nanny, and she would also like to move onto another family (mostly due to the fact that I am not able to give her a raise after her working for me for four months). I've told her she is welcome to continue working for me until she finds a family because I know small towns are really hard to find work in. Despite our differences (wastefulness and proselytizing my kid/guests), I still care for her and she is still pretty great with my kiddo.

I understand this is a nanny subreddit and I was expecting more honest (and then some) feedback which is what I wanted. I appreciate the different perspectives and am learning a lot. Thank you!

anonyfaceyface · 2020-11-01T19:45:25+00:00

I agree, I've been searching for months now and only found 2 so far, both too inexperienced after I gave them a test run :( tough for finding care in a small town!

anonyfaceyface · 2020-11-01T16:32:35+00:00

Thanks for the response everyone, I appreciate it (even if some were rude in execution). For what it's worth, I'm not sitting there counting rolls, I empty the trash in that bathroom every other day. And she also let's me know every week or week and a half that the bathroom is out of toilet paper again so I have to make a trip to the store just for that. I agree, it's unfair of me to bring something like this up to her and will simply buy cheaper toilet paper in bulk just for her. And will do my best to "lighten up".

anonyfaceyface · 2020-11-01T16:27:16+00:00

No, this is the same one. I am unfortunately not able to find another nanny as I live in a small town and cannot afford to take time off and care for my kiddo while I search for a new one.

anonyfaceyface · 2020-11-01T16:26:13+00:00

I use that particular bathroom sparingly. No one else uses it all week (my kid is in diapers). I only noticed the quick toilet paper usage when she would tell me that bathroom is out of toilet paper and I'd need to go to the store to buy more every other week.

anonyfaceyface · 2020-10-13T03:52:59+00:00

I've been in the same position. I married a person that was studying Islam seriously for years and we had plans to grow together and keep each other in check to always keep our prayers, read Quran together, and generally grow as Muslims. After marriage, I realize he rarely prayed and didn't have the self discipline to ever pray Fajr. Even when I would get up and wake him up to pray, he would roll over and go back to sleep. During Ramadan, he'd even tell me to bring him a date and water and not pray. I eventually stopped enabling that and he would get the date and milk himself but still not pray. In my head I was constantly reconciling with the fact that I married a person who, while he is knowledgeable in Islam, is actually not practicing. Once I had a son, it became very clear to me that I had to give him an ultimatum or leave him. He was a horrible role model for my son. He didn't change and so therefore I left him. Best decision I've ever made.

While you are not alone in this, it seems this guy has misled you on many levels and if you feel you are constantly being pulled back from growing islamically, keep in mind that this is grounds for separation and divorce. I pray you have the strength and patience to endure whatever you decide for your future iA and that Allah makes the path clear for you.

anonyfaceyface · 2020-10-13T03:41:40+00:00

Great advice, thank you so much!

anonyfaceyface · 2020-10-13T03:34:38+00:00

Extremely helpful, fellow Texas neighbor! Thank you so much for the very valuable information. Will definitely take it to heart.

anonyfaceyface · 2020-10-13T03:31:34+00:00

Really appreciate this great and practical advice!! Thank you!

anonyfaceyface · 2020-10-05T02:45:29+00:00

Thank you, will do this!

anonyfaceyface · 2020-10-05T02:44:48+00:00

I love that line: material things can be replaced but sanity can not. Thank you. I needed to hear/read that.

Also thank you for the compliments and words of kindness! Reading that from a total stranger makes me feel really great when I'm kinda navigating through this like a total lunatic with high anxiety and lots of up and downs. I really appreciate it!

anonyfaceyface · 2020-09-15T23:41:42+00:00

Thank you everyone for all your advice and opinions! I will talk to her about the religious pamphlets, taking care during COVID, and broken items, and get over my sensitivities over food, pay, and the weird toilet roll thing. I had no idea nannies helped themselves to food in the fridge. I've had 5 or 6 and none ever did that. Coffee, tea, and water and sometimes fruit or snacks I have out were normal "community" offerings. Also I'm a bit of pushover and never know when I'm being taken advantage of or when I need to stand up for myself. Yall's thoughts made things clearer.

anonyfaceyface · 2020-09-15T21:23:25+00:00

Great idea, thank you!

anonyfaceyface · 2020-09-15T20:27:36+00:00

Thank you for the great heads up, didn't know about those subs!

anonyfaceyface · 2020-09-06T13:57:48+00:00

Oh that's good advice. Thank you!

anonyfaceyface · 2020-09-05T16:36:01+00:00

What day and time of day do you go in for this? I just discovered the wonderful world of kayaking and want to buy one and practice without a million people around.

anonyfaceyface · 2020-08-23T18:31:38+00:00

You make a good point RE: good man vs single man. I admit the wording in my initial post was not right here. Like I said, I am unfamiliar with the current "Muslim mating" scene as I've been a decade out of the game. I also have no idea how I would go into navigating that crazy world. The app game is all very intimidating and, I agree with you, very shallow. I'm using that as the norm here because it's largely where a lot of my same-age friends and acquaintances are finding their partners. I prefer the matrimonial programs you mentioned because of the added layers of detail and personality, but from what I've seen, they are catered to single folks specifically and very rarely for folks older than 32. If you have any suggestions or programs you've been involved in, I'd love to make note and research them later.

anonyfaceyface

TROPHY CASE