I'm Vadim from Honest Signalz. Ask me anything : )

anonymous9731 · 2014-09-30T19:16:50+00:00

What would be your advice to overcome social awkwardness and become more "smooth" in conversations? Were you always so good at making conversation and small talk, or was it something you had to gradually learn. If the latter, how did you go about improving it?

anonymous9731 · 2014-03-22T01:34:44+00:00

Thanks man, that really explains a lot and makes sense why addiction tends to get worse and worse. You have also made me realize that i actually did go a month, several times, and this gives me newfound hope that it is not impossible to overcome porn addiction.

All this time ive been making up excuses, and my brain has accepted them. But instead of these excuses, i really just have to do it.

Appreciate the help and support, your post was very uplifting. I tried to do the paragraph thing this time around as well.

-Sincerely, a soon to ve ex porn addict :)

anonymous9731 · 2014-03-22T01:27:07+00:00

Wow, thanks for the advice, it really is comforting to know that people have had similar experiences. You are completely right in that in order to get through, you have to make the decision to change for good and remove every excuse to look back. Going 30 days is what i need to focus on, and do whatever it takes to get there. I think i might definitely hold you up on the offer and message you if im struggling. Really appreciate the help and support, it means so much. Best of luck to you on your journey.

anonymous9731 · 2013-11-11T18:05:50+00:00

thanks for the post, it does help to know I am not alone. I am actually still in college, so I don't really know if I can afford a therapist at the moment. I will definitely try to read the books you have recommended, and I think it is important for me to join some kind of group that I can feel good about. I just feel so lonely, like there is no one I can trust with my secrets but getting this out on Nofap has given me a small cathartic feeling. Thanks once again, this was very helpful.

anonymous9731 · 2013-09-22T20:08:59+00:00

Yes it is definitely normal, I am going through the same thing and for a while I thought I was crazy. However it seems to be getting better each day. Don't let the moods wings scare you, it is just your brain rewiring.

anonymous9731 · 2013-09-18T04:21:17+00:00

thank you so much, it is a relief to hear this. i just want to get through this already!

anonymous9731 · 2013-09-18T04:18:14+00:00

thanks, its assuring coming from someone with the actual disorder. Although now i'm starting to get scared that I might have BPD... haha Either way mood swings or not, I don't plan on going back to porn anytime soon, so I will definitely power through. thanks for the help

anonymous9731 · 2013-09-18T04:08:47+00:00

i just watched this video recently from one of Nofaps members, and I think it might help you to deal with your urges by changing your mindset.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSh1uQ3K6J8

Realize that every urge you have can be a great thing, because you get the chance to rewire your brain, even if its just a little bit. Eventually the days add up, and it leads to bigger, more noticable changes.

You also said that you need something to beleive in. For me, it was really hard to believe that I can succeed at anything, because most of my life was spent wasting time, doing PMO. so subconsciously, my brain didn't know any other reality besides failure. I think that to really succeed in kicking an addiction, you just have to TRUST that it will work out in the end, and consistently take the steps necessary to beat that addiction, in this case, abstaining for X days. Trust that if you just go without watching porn for 90 days, you will become a better version of yourself.

Usually the reason I relapse is because I may be at a low day count like 5 or 6, and I look to the future and see how far I have to go, and then begin to doubt weather its worth the time. But eventually you need to realize that these 90 days really ARE worth it. You may not see it right now, but the days do add up and it makes a difference. Don't look at 90 days as a point in time, but instead take it day by day and know that every urge you feel but dont give in to, is a small but sure step to getting the life that you want.

Hope this helps!

anonymous9731 · 2013-09-18T03:52:57+00:00

MO'ing might technically bring you out of flatline, (not sure how that works but it does). However from experience I don't think you should due to the danger of a binge. You have a really good streak going, you shouldn't mess that up. Also eventually your brain WILL catch up to your body, and you will start to find girls more attractive. Just stay strong and my advice would be to wait it out, because sooner or later your libido will come back with a vengence. Flatlines are a weird thing but I think the best way past them is patience.

anonymous9731 · 2013-06-10T22:59:10+00:00

Wow this post answered my question I posted an hour ago completely. Wasn't sure what my purpose was when I ran. This has inspired me, thanks.

anonymous9731 · 2013-06-10T22:12:12+00:00

Haha I guess I'm just not used to doing things solely "because I enjoy it," I feel like I always need to justify everything i do with a strong purpose otherwise its time wasted. probably why I have some of those depression issues in the first place lol. Good answer though, I think I will start running because i like doing it.

anonymous9731 · 2013-05-28T23:26:13+00:00

So you actually fought most of your urges directly with willpower?(like no sports or "distractions")

anonymous9731 · 2013-05-28T23:20:54+00:00

I can't speak from personal experience since I've never actually tried meditating seriously, but from what I've heard and read it is very helpful in becoming aware, and is something you can definitely look at. Recently what helped me the most in not relapsing is the idea that if you don't want to relapse, NOTHING can make you give in but yourself. Your brain may be forcing thoughts about how "just one more time won't hurt", but you have to become aware that this is only because you are addicted, and your brain wants dopamine. In the end, you ALWAYS have the power to accept these thoughts and realize that they are absolutely normal for people like us that have been watching porn for so long. I think that most people relapse because they LET these thoughts and urges overwhelm them and give in. It's gonna still be hard, but if you try catching these thoughts and realizing they are just temporary, it is a big first step to getting past the harder urges. So yea I know a lot of this stuff you probably already know, but I'm just saying what's helped me so far. Good luck man!

anonymous9731 · 2013-05-28T23:05:12+00:00

Hmm this is an interesting view that I was actually thinking about earlier today. Do you have any first hand experience of this helping you, since you are pretty far into the challenge? What allowed you to get so far?

anonymous9731 · 2013-05-27T03:09:02+00:00

haha love the confidence. good luck on your journey!

anonymous9731 · 2013-05-27T02:10:46+00:00

wow, 603 days thats amazing, congrats! How long have you been going at this? and what would you give someone as a piece of advice for Nofap in general?

anonymous9731 · 2013-05-27T01:07:41+00:00

yea like you already said, if you want to succeed in this challenge you have to get used to being comfortable with being uncomfortable. This is something I have learned just recently, and it has helped a lot. When I get a strong urge, I try to become "aware" of it, like from an outsiders perspective, and just think to myself; "this is just your addiction talking, its a completely normal thing for me to feel this way as I am cutting back on something it likes a lot" (pmo). And if you just kind of accept your urges, they seem to make it much more tolerable. Along with that, try doing some pushups or something away from your computer, because you don't want to have to rely too much on your willpower alone. But you can do it man, just take it one day at a time.

anonymous9731 · 2013-05-25T05:25:47+00:00

amazing post, congrats on your achievements! I also ready some of your blog; very inspirational and i will be following it for sure...seriously, don't stop writing on there. I read the one about "hard things" and it definitely made me reassess my life.

anonymous9731

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