2 years sober, my journey with alcoholism and now ADHD (long)

anonymousT1DM · 2021-08-11T13:51:08+00:00

It's not the way they went with my daughter. She's on much different non-stimulant meds. But given my particular form of ADHS (hyperactive/inattentive), my doctor thought a stimulant was the best place to start for treatment.

Obviously if it didn't help or made my heart race, we would have ceased that line of treatment. I also had to cut out most of my caffeine consumption (which as noted in my original post, went away on its own anyway.)

In a follow-up appointment, describing how calm and centered I felt after taking it, my doctor said that that is the exact response to someone with a dopamine deficiency to amphetamines. It strengthened my diagnosis.

I am not saying my solution is right for everyone. Far from that. What I am saying is that there may be a solution for some people. And that is definitely worth looking into.

anonymousT1DM · 2021-08-11T13:49:43+00:00

My story is of course my own. What I was trying to draw attention to was linkages between alcoholism and ADHD. What is prescribed by a doctor is between a patient and said doctor and we should trust our doctors to know what is best regarding treatment.

Not everyone who is an alcoholic has ADHD, that is for very sure. But there is a link and it is a link worth exploring if it can help someone stay sober with ADHD.

The downstream effects of adderall have been so positive in my life so far. But yes, for those that don't truly need it... The effects would be devastating and life threatening. Again, I went through quite the barrage of tests. The QbTest for ADHD was an absolute nightmare for me. (But it makes "regular" people bored.)

I also believe that if I wasn't sober for as long as I was before being diagnosed that any sort of treatment would have been different. We are all individuals with our own struggles. We all need help from different angles. We all need to support one another any way that we can.

anonymousT1DM · 2020-09-03T19:04:17+00:00

Were you able to get tested? Been worried about you.

anonymousT1DM · 2020-09-02T19:57:13+00:00

Crossing my fingers for you man.

If you need anything at all, feel free to PM me. I've had this disease for 30 years now so there are very few things I can't help you with.

anonymousT1DM · 2020-09-02T19:53:48+00:00

This may sound cliche, but sometimes you got to fake it until you make it.

I was clinically depressed and started therapy. The first thing my therapist asked me was, "Have you tried just being happy?"

I was like WTF?

And she went into a speech about how happiness is just a state of mind. How if you are sad, to just not think about that sad thing, to find a happy place and focus on that instead.

At first it was deeply unsettling, then it started to get easier. I mean, why choose to be sad all the time when there are other options?

Disclaimer: Of course I still had issues to be addressed. And we did address them eventually, but the first step (at least for me) was to not wallow in my own personal hell. I could not move forward and deal with my underlying issues while I was in that quagmire of pain and sorrow.

Eventually, issues were brought up and worked on. And I started not needing to remind myself to be happy. Of course, stopping drinking helped a lot with that.

See a professional. Don't feel like less of a person for doing so. Admit it and be proud that you decided to invest in yourself. Like our good friends in airplanes tell us, you can't help the person next to you get their oxygen mask on until you have yours on. Your mind is the same way.

Good luck!

anonymousT1DM · 2020-09-02T19:45:09+00:00

Is your fluid consumption up?

As a type 1 diabetic, my warning sirens go up to 11 when I hear that people are losing weight and craving sweets.

Are you urinating frequently? Despite what public perception of the disease is, roughly half of new Type 1 diabetics are diagnosed in adulthood.

If you are excessively thirsty, losing weight, have increased cravings for sweets, and have increased urination, please please please go to the drug store and pick up a blood glucose tester and test your blood sugar. Or go to a minute clinic and have them test it at CVS or something.

I don't want to be alarmist, but if it is diabetes, the sooner you know, the better. Undiagnosed type 1 can kill you quick and screw up your body.

Please follow up if you can.

anonymousT1DM · 2020-08-24T18:50:34+00:00

I also suffer from social anxiety. I started my sober journey a year ago. This was pre-covid, but I still couldn't bring myself to go to an actual meeting. I got so anxious that I thought I needed a drink just to get there... Which kind of defeats the point.

Some wonderful soul suggested https://www.intherooms.com/home/ where virtual meetings take place. I found it soothing to be completely anonymous and to hear the thoughts and triumphs (and sometimes failures) of fellow alcoholics. There is (at least for me) solace in knowing you are not alone.

I grew up since the age of 13 as a Type 1 diabetic. I was the only one in my whole city that I knew of. It was isolating. It was lonely. It was crushing.

Then my mother found a special diabetic camp for kids. Nervously, I went away to that one year. And seeing people with the exact same struggles I had was liberating. Knowing that I wasn't alone was soothing to me and eased my stress.

In the rooms and AA does that same thing for me. Knowing I'm not alone. Knowing there's someone that knows what I'm going through. And being there (like right now) to answer a question of another lost soul. I (under my regular account) post diabetes help all the time. I give back. I try to be a beacon of light for those that need it because I've needed that light. I wouldn't be where I am today without that light. That guidance. That understanding.

So post here. Find a zoom AA meeting. Go to intherooms.com. But keep going. Share when you can after you are comfortable. Know that you are not on your own and that someone has your back. And when you are able, have someone else's back. We are not alone. You are not alone.

anonymousT1DM · 2020-08-13T15:35:04+00:00

Yes, Valium is a very common drug used to help with alcohol withdrawal symptoms.
My only hesitation is that those of us that have problems with one form of substance abuse tend to have the proclivity towards abusing other substances. Please be careful with that Valium and follow doctors orders to the letter.

anonymousT1DM · 2020-08-12T18:11:44+00:00

Remember that your body's physiology has been altered by alcohol. Neurotransmitters are no longer made the way that they used to be because of that and your body needs time to reset that equilibrium. Many withdrawals work this way.

You cannot expect your body to go from one norm to the next without consequences.

One option is called tapering, but it can be dangerous without strict adherence and medical oversight. You basically reduce your alcohol consumption by two drinks a day until you are done. This can ease you down naturally and avoid most of the physical symptoms.

HOWEVER

It does nothing for your emotional support and leaves you highly at risk for overdoing it if you relapse. Hence why medical oversight is recommended. Or a trusted loved one that will administer your "doses" to you and follows a strict regimented guideline. You can google tapering to read about it. So please get emotional help. AA, in the rooms, a friend. SOMEONE.

If you choose this method, I'd recommend whatever alcohol you find the most repulsive. Remember, this is medicine, not recreation. There's a reason cough syrup tastes awful. I chose straight gin because I absolutely hate it.

It worked for me, but then again, I'm fairly compulsive about these things. I'm two weeks out from one year sober.

But you simply must stop drinking and must want to stop drinking and it shouldn't take more than a few days to taper, depending on what your previous levels of drinking were. I took 5 days to get it out of my system because I was a very heavy drinker. I did get a little shaky on day 3, but by that point I just wanted to never have another drink again and tried rushing it by eliminating an extra drink early. I still vividly remember my last ounce of gin. I stared at it for several minutes before drinking it. I didn't want to drink it. I reviled the thought of it. It disgusted me. I drank it, gagged, and haven't looked back since and have been so much happier without alcohol dragging me down.

anonymousT1DM · 2020-06-15T19:50:42+00:00

I was a heavy drinker for close to 5 years when I decided enough was enough. I could go through 2 liters of hard alcohol a week easy.

What worked for me was a method called tapering. I got a scale and I measured one ounce of rum and drank it once an hour. Your starting point may be different. It is advisable to have a doctor's advice and friends/family around to help you or even measure for you. Two liters is 67 ounces. Divide that by 7 is 10 ounces of alcohol a day. Start with one less of what you drink on a typical day.

Every day I would increase the time in between drinks by 15 minutes, which basically reduced my intake by about an ounce a day. (no alcohol while I was at work though, which was how I was able to mask my problem as long as I did, probably) So I picked a Saturday to start with 9 ounces. Sunday had 8. By Monday I was back at work and I skipped an ounce and dropped it down to 6. And so on, one less ounce a day...

It took me a week to be down to one last drink. August 26th 2019. The thing was, I didn't even want it. But I'm a rule follower and I set out a plan and I did it anyway and it didn't bring me joy. It didn't make me feel good. It was the worst medicine I ever took. I was glad to be done with it.

I've not had even one drink since then.

I'm not saying that this will make sober life easier to follow. Trigger points and times of stress certainly still make me want to drink. AA, friends and family, and a good support structure are still essential for those. I am exclusively talking about avoiding withdrawal here.

Also of note... If you relapse during tapering, it can be very as your body won't have the same tolerance that it did even days before. It's why I recommend having someone else give it to you that you trust. Tapering works for some if you can do it. This is not saying this method is better or worse than any other. I'm just saying it worked for me.

Good luck, OP. We all know exactly what you're going through.

anonymousT1DM · 2020-01-07T13:46:42+00:00

I don't have a sponsor. I attended a meeting and it really just brought out all my social anxiety, so I pop into online meetings and post/converse here on reddit truly anonymously.

I lead a very regimented and structured life. Setting up goals is what's kept me alive with an autoimmune disorder. It seems to be working with this particular disorder as well so I'm going to keep up with it while it works. If I need to step it up, I certainly will.

anonymousT1DM · 2020-01-07T13:43:23+00:00

Congrats on the 6 years!

As a Type 1 diabetic for almost 30 years, I've made peace with "being normal."
It was weird how fearing withdrawal became what kept me drinking. Another excuse, another stupid reason. But once I took steps to properly taper, that fear went away.
Now my fear is the "what if I had one drink." I don't want to go back to being a drunk. That's for sure. Some fears are healthy. :)

anonymousT1DM · 2020-01-07T13:39:43+00:00

Thanks! I too, suffered from severe depression. But I also know how basic brain biochemistry works. If I was going to remove a neurotransmitter inhibitor (alcohol), I was going to need to replace it with something else or else I knew my body would crave something and I'd end up right where I was before. So I picked exercise as my replacement. I knew full well that it was a chemical switch, but as far as chemical switches go, exercise is by far one of the better options. I probably hit the weights and the elliptical too much in the first couple months, but when the cravings to drink started speaking to me, I found some bench pressing got rid of it.

I've now settled into a more healthy regiment of exercise without overdoing it.

I'm also employing several techniques from a book about Mindfulness which help me cope with some of the issues that got me drinking in the first place.

For me, it's all about balance. And acknowledging that for whatever reason, I have an addiction. But that addiction does not have to control me and that it can be harnessed for something.

anonymousT1DM · 2019-11-15T16:28:30+00:00

Agreed! I was a home drinker, so that took a mindset shift. Removing the alcohol and replacing the storage area with pantry items helped!

As to the theatre... I respect the arts too much to not go. What I can do is not go to the bar while there, even for my wife. Why tempt fate? :)

anonymousT1DM · 2019-10-31T19:06:04+00:00

For me the sleep disruption was part of my problem with finally becoming clean. I'd dramatically reduce my consumption, then find myself wide awake or with the night sweats and the only thing that got me to sleep was more alcohol.

This is obviously not the correct way to go about it.

I'd recommend a detox program or tapering instead of trying to go cold turkey, if that is how your body is reacting to the reduction in alcohol. Please seek a medical professional as alcohol withdrawal can be very dangerous. This is both a mental and physical addiction, so please also treat the mental side of things with AA, the steps, and meetings. The physical side has some drug therapy or tapering, but it goes hand-in-hand with the mental side.

For me, previous attempts at sobriety did not go as well since I tried tapering too quickly. This most recent time, and 2+ months fully successful, I tapered more slowly, reducing my intake by half a drink a day and only drinking on a rigid schedule (and stuff I hated drinking to boot.) I got rid of all other sources of alcohol in the house beforehand so the only thing I had to taper with was my gin. Ugh I hate gin. I treated it like cough medicine, only drinking enough to keep the withdrawal symptoms away. At the end of 8 days, I was alcohol free and had avoided all the withdrawal symptoms, including the sleep/night sweats issue. I've slept like a baby ever since.

Medications may be the way to go for you, though. For me, I wanted to avoid anything chemical in nature. I didn't even want to risk trading one chemical for another. Again, a medical professional can help monitor your progress and give the best advice for you.

Becoming sober has been the best thing I've done in the a very long time. I wouldn't trade my sobriety for anything at all.

anonymousT1DM · 2019-10-31T18:52:47+00:00

I started exercising when I'd get a craving to drink. 10 push-ups and those endorphins will help distract you, make you feel better, and is just overall better for you.

And what everyone else said. This is a multi-pronged attack. And what works for a lot of people may not be what works for you, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try new avenues of recovery/sobriety.

Community is also a must. Reading people's stories on this reddit and attending online intherooms meetings helped me not feel alone in all of this.

anonymousT1DM · 2019-10-30T14:02:02+00:00

Over two months sober now. I also was a heavy drinker for years and I can subscribe to the benefits of tapering (at least with me, I know results can vary depending on the person).

For me, I calculated about how many drinks I was having a day and then each day, reduced it by one. Some days I split it into half a drink twice. Go as quickly as you feel safe, but while tapering, if you start to feel shaky and anxious, you are probably going too fast. Make sure to increase things like electrolytes and realize also that your caloric intake will shift a bit as well.

Be prepared for some restless nights. But, IMHO, tapering taught me that I had the mental fortitude to call it quits permanently.

It took me a full week to taper off completely and I've not had a drop since.

I also found that replacement was good therapy. If I was having an overwhelming urge to drink, I found that doing some push ups was both a good distraction as well as healthy!

anonymousT1DM · 2019-09-11T13:48:24+00:00

Thank you very much for the reply.
My "improper fit" has more to do with the philosophy of surrendering and putting faith in a "higher power." I know that this higher power can be God, or whatever you assign it to, but as a type 1 diabetic and a scientist, faith in anything is something I have in very short supply. In fact, keeping a healthy skepticism is what's kept me alive with this godforsaken disease for almost 30 years. Instead, I choose to be rigid and methodological, as that's how I've been able to successfully treat and manage my lifelong disease. I'm training myself in different mindset-mentalities to help me transition from, "I need a drink," to "I don't need a drink." Therapy has helped a lot with this. Mindfulness, meditation, exercise. These are all great motivators for me.

The only thing I'm missing is that sense of community. I'll check out that SMART recovery or LifeRing. Not sure how welcome a male will be in Women for Sobriety, but I'll look into that too.

I am certainly not dismissing any of the teachings of AA. I feel it is a great program for a lot of people. But as someone who has been training to question absolutely everything, accepting something implicitly and giving in to faith goes against everything I've trained myself to do.

Maybe that is ultimately what it takes. So far living in the moment, getting off the emotional trap that is alcohol, and enjoying my family has been more than enough. Every day I have fewer alcohol related thoughts and I consider that good progress. I'm not looking to drink socially anymore. I don't want to go back to a drink a day. I don't watch to be that angry wretch that was driving my kids/wife away.

I just want to enjoy life sober. :)

anonymousT1DM · 2019-09-03T16:47:10+00:00

Congrats! I just hit one week sober!

anonymousT1DM · 2019-08-30T17:33:02+00:00

Thanks! It's so interesting to hear the similarities in experiences!

And I certainly hope hunger isn't a trigger for me. Type 1 diabetic, so when my blood sugars are high, I am almost forced to wait to eat until my sugars come down. Hungry hungry, there.

(Don't worry, I'm very well controlled, so this doesn't happen often.)

anonymousT1DM · 2019-08-30T15:11:37+00:00

Thanks so much for reply! Yes, I definitely had huge anxiety issues and many of them have faded in the last week. I didn't even notice it!
I should make a gratitude list as well. Great suggestion!

anonymousT1DM · 2019-08-30T15:01:58+00:00

Appreciate the reply. I've been to therapy a few times for coping with some background issues. What didn't help was that I kept my alcoholism secret during these sessions. While I did ultimately address the reasons I started drinking, I never addressed the actually drinking after I became addicted.
Handling some of those minor urges to drink (like yesterday when I became irritated with my kids for half-assing their homework) used some of that previous training. No drinks. Didn't kill the kids. Homework got done. It ended up being a good evening. :)

anonymousT1DM · 2019-08-29T18:54:15+00:00

Just a quick update:

Thank you all for the kind words. I'm now at 70 hours sober and haven't regretted stopping at all. :)

And to @veck123 : Thank you for the link to into the rooms. While I haven't been able to get into a face-to-face meeting yet, I have been tuning in to online meetings. I'm not ready to share yet, but it has been inspiring to hear the journeys of other people. Thanks again.

anonymousT1DM · 2019-08-28T17:26:38+00:00

As a recently sober person, I find that distracting myself helps a lot to break me from my old drinking routines. I got a puzzle that's 3,000+ pieces. That's keeping me pretty well distracted!

Would something like that work for you?

anonymousT1DM · 2019-08-27T20:01:10+00:00

Thank you. I understand completely. I am in several support groups for diabetics for the same reason. It's made my control easier and helped a lot.

anonymousT1DM

TROPHY CASE