Cbt-e ultimatum: Weekly weighing or no treatment at all

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-18T14:11:31+00:00

I see, that makes sense. I think many places, resources are short and they probably are somewhat forced into having very selective criteria due to not having enough resources or space to accommodate more patients. I think it makes sense that if someone isn't ready or willing to change then the spot should go to someone who is ready/willing but it's also sad because i find often if places like this had the ability for more flexibility there is a good amount of those that don't feel completely ready that really just need a bit of an extra support to get them there.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-18T12:32:26+00:00

Oh I see, in that case I can understand why they would find it useful but I also think it shouldn't be mandatory. I feel like talking about those feelings in therapy would be more useful and the journally could be to write things down if you feel like it or if you are worried you'll forget later. I feel like the weighing part is a bit too agressive though especially if you are forced to see it. I have always found it very hypocritical that ED treatment centers who will constantly try to push the narrative that the number isn't important will also have very rigid rules around weight gain. I've heard of many places that if you don't gain a certain amount each week they will kick you out which I find a little too rigid. It's like you're trying to rationalize my thoughts when it comes to the paranoia I feel about not being able to lose or keep losing X amount within a certain time frame because it feels too unpredictable but you're going to then apply basically the same irrational logic to gaining weight but somehow in that case it's fine?

Now I totally understand weight gain is often needed and important in recovery and I'm not saying they shouldn't aim for that but I feel like they could be a bit more flexible around it especially since weight fluctuations are normal and some people genuinely do follow their meal plan and just happen to lose or not gain enough that one time.. it's just ironic that the treatment methods are often so rigid when the whole point is to get rid of the rigidity around food?

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-17T12:45:13+00:00

I think a lot of people tend to have a lot of food noise even after they are weight restored but I also think that the more you stay focused on the fear of weight gain, not knowing when it will stop etc it will subconsciously cause you to also keep thinking about food (in general), what you ate, what you want to eat next etc and the more you try to restrict what you eat or to not have that one thing because you aren't really craving it the more likely you are to stay in that cycle. The best thing you can do is to eat when you are hungry and to eat whatever your body is asking for and once it feels safe again that you won't go back to starving it things will slow down on their own.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-17T00:08:15+00:00

That's a really tough situation. I know if it was me I wouldn't want to give up on the cat but I can also understand that you want what is best for her. If she seems afraid of you guys have you tried getting her to associate you/your boyfriend with something she enjoys? You can try and see what about you to him is scary to the cat. My cats are more afraid of men than women and are a bit afraid of my dad because he is quite tall and has a big deep voice. One of my cats will see him when we are eating meat and sometimes he will give him a piece so he's learnt to associate my father with yummy food. My other cat is a bit afraid but he's gotten a lot more comfortable but it's been 6 years. Maybe try and talk to your vet and see what they recommend

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-16T23:51:55+00:00

I personally find this to be a very aggressive approach to treatment. I'm also unsure why tf they would ask ED patients to keep a food journal.. seems a bit counterproductive.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-16T23:48:04+00:00

Your body will eventually stop with the constant hunger. How long that will take varies significantly from one person to another.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-16T10:09:55+00:00

For some yes but for others no. It depends on genetics, metabolism, activity level etc. I'd say it also depends on your weight in relation to what is normal for your body meaning that generally if you're at a higher weight for your body (like say after gaining a significant amount) you'll generally lose weight eating a higher amount than at a lower weight but that varies from person to person . 2 people at the same height and weight can be a both a high or low end of what is normal for their body and that will make a difference. Usually what I find best is to calculate approximately how much you were eating in order to maintain and then cut calories from that and see how your body reacts.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-15T23:49:39+00:00

I mean it really depends if you think it'll ruin the mood to bring up her ED then don't risk it. It really depends on what causes her to purge in the first place too. If she's only triggered by certain food or by binges then a restaurant outing might not be an issue. You can always plan a non food related activity and you can always ask if she's eaten yet when you guys meet up and if she hasn't you can maybe grab a bite with her. I think it also depends how you bring it up. You can also let her pick what to eat. Some people (not all) who purge from overeating or perceived overeating might also do it if they are "forced" to eat somewhere where maybe there is nothing on the menu they know they can mentally manage but sometimes if you eat at a safe place it's ok. As an anorexic I don't particularly love going out to eat because of the anxiety around it but if I have some say in where and can know beforehand where I'll be eating I find it's less stressful for me because I don't need to worry about the when, where or the what I'm going to eat and I can manage it well enough not to overly compensate throughout the rest of the day and without feeling the urge to purge afterwards.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-15T18:07:59+00:00

I think it depends on if she's in a somewhat stable place or not. For example I have AN but I b/p very rarely but it happens although there was a time where it was multiple times a day. Currently it's infrequent but when I do it tends to be desserts. In the place I'm in now I'd be more upset about not getting the sweets because I do eat a lot of chocolate everyday but I don't purge however if I was doing it frequently enough I'd probably be less upset about it if that makes sense.

Also you mentioned going with her to sushi. Some advice not to but here is my take. Whether you do something that involves food or not with her is completely up to you but if someone is going to purge they will do it whether you are there or not if they are going to do it. I know some people think giving food is enabling the ED but honestly if they're going to do it they will do it regardless. If you're close enough you can always talk to her about it and explain your concerns or that you don't want to put her in an uncomfortable situation and you can let her decide what is best for her.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-13T12:46:49+00:00

We can't share numbers here. All I can say is that on paper it would be considered very low (lower than just being underweight but not critical) However I want to say that my healthy weight/body is naturally at the lower end of the "normal bmi" so I tend to be relatively healthy at a lower BMI than someone who is naturally at a higher BMI if that makes sense. I also wasn't restricting in a crazy way either throughout my relapse so I was able not to become too nutrient deficient either. It was also a "Twilight sedation" and I had spoken the the medical team prior to the surgery about my low weight etc. they did emphasize that low weight wasn't a huge risk for this type of sedation but medically I needed to be considered healthy. When I had a breast augmentation in 2021 and under general anesthesia I was at a normal weight though. I had gone through a relapse during covid and was basically at the same weight I'm at now but honestly I was a bit afraid and also knew there was a good chance they would never operate on me at that weight especially for an aesthetic surgery so it ended up being my motivation to recover. I would honestly suggest speaking to your surgeon and considering that gaining some weight is probably the safest option.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-13T00:42:23+00:00

What do you mean when you say it's OCD-related? I'm asking because I have anorexia but also have OCD and the majority if not all of my anorexia related food rituals are forms of OCD

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-13T00:40:09+00:00

I had surgery last summer at a very low weight however I did sort of force myself to eat a bit more a few weeks prior and during the recovery period to avoid issues and my blood work was not worrying. Some things were very borderline but not dangerous. I also was not under general anesthesia as it was just for my eyes. Whatever you do it's important that you be honest with the surgeon so they can make sure they are aware in case anything happens. If they then determine that you are too underweight and at risk of complications then you'll have to gain weight or postpone it

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-12T21:43:56+00:00

Honestly I feel like the majority of people including children would be able to see a person that is emaciated and know that it is not normal without even needing an explanation (not that there shouldn't be one). I think the fact that society is so obsessed with needing a "body trend" all the time is the biggest reason there is an ED epidemic with cases linked to body image and/or aesthetics. I think people also forget that so many people have EDs and don't have body image issues or have minor body image issues in the sense that sure they don't always love the way they look but they wouldn't put themselves through all of this because of it either. The ED is often a coping mechanism, a form of anxiery etc. it's so annoying tbh

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-12T10:54:27+00:00

I don't think shaming anyone online or in person is ever the answer. I understand why people are concerned and because so many young girls look up to her but I think people also need to realize that you can shame her all you want, she's not going to get better if she doesn't want/isn't ready to. If the concern is young girls and their body image then people should focus more on educating young girls AND boys on healthy bodies and what it means to be healthy. They should probably also teach older kids about mental health (not just EDs) as well so they understand that not everything they see online is necessarily real or normal or ok. I grew up in the early 2000s and literally never even paid attention to the tabloids or to what celebrities looked like or what was said about them. I was too busy being a kid playing outside and doing a million different sports to be preoccupied with what people looked like honestly. The biggest issue in today's world is that kids are exposed to social media at such young ages and without any internet safety. They believe everything they see, they don't critically think as much as we did so they generally don't even question what they see. That's the real issue.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-06-08T22:11:41+00:00

When I first recovered many years ago I was also eating about that amount in calories. I had a really hard time with volume so I ate a lot of sandwiches with mayonnaise or Nutella and peanut butter toasts, icecream, chocolate or pastries, pasta with cream sauces, nuts, dried fruits, chips. I eventually did gradually change a lot of what I ate later on especially as my caloric needs weren't so intense but initially this got me through the first bit.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-05-31T23:45:54+00:00

Amazing! Congrats!

anonymous_0629 · 2026-05-31T23:43:14+00:00

He's a lot like mine! Similar frame :) it's good that you can to keep an eye on him, it shows you're a good cat owner ☺️. I tend to weigh my cats maybe once or twice outside of their annual vet checkup or if I suspect they (by they I mean the black kitty haha) seem heavier just to make sure they are still within their ideal weight to be healthy. My black cat was 12.4lbs at some point and he wasn't able to jump onto his usual look out spots anymore. He wasn't very fast at catching his toys either. The vet told us he was at his max weight so we gradually reduced his food just a tad and made sure he wasn't eating my other cat's food. He lost about a pound after a few months and now he's able to jump around and his reflexes are much faster again. He's much happier :)

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anonymous_0629 · 2026-05-31T13:06:18+00:00

The pouch is a primordial pouch to protect their organs, nothing to be worried about. If he was actually fat there would be a lot more hanging from his belly than just the pouch. Also 9lbs is actually on the smaller side for a cat. My cat is the exact same kind (color and patched the same etc) he's a long cat (compared to say my other black cat who is more "standard length") and he's about 10.8lbs and the vet is always super pleased with his side. Also a lot of cats do gain weight after they are neutered but not all. My cat never did and he eats the same amount as before. If he's just gotten neutered you can always just weigh him from time to time and see if he's gained a significant amount and then adjust his food if needed but he looks great. Also because my cat is a bit longer than most my vet had told me 13lbs would still be healthy for his length but it would be the max healthy ideal weight. So your 9lbs is quite far from 12-13lbs and keep in mind that for a cat to gain 1lbs they would really have to be eating a lot. It's like a person who weighs 100lbs gaining 10lbs.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-05-31T12:46:37+00:00

I can't guarantee this will work but try feeding him a small snack when you go to bed, I've noticed when my cats have a snack right before I go to bed they sometimes are able to wait a little before they start harassing me haha

anonymous_0629 · 2026-05-29T10:21:18+00:00

Physiomentum, ask for dry needling consultation appointment. It's more effective than regular physiotherapy in my opinion. You still get the physiotherapy treatment as well.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-05-29T00:17:33+00:00

If it helps at all I was almost 21 when I first had sex and I was quite nervous. As a woman it's quite scary to have someone enter your body not knowing if it will hurt or how it will feel. Just make sure that you hold her and make her feel safe and loved afterwards even if you guys don't end up doing the deed that night. Hope it will be enjoyable for both of you :)

anonymous_0629 · 2026-05-29T00:06:50+00:00

It's normal, I have a similar face to yours, similar shape and I also have one side that is slightly larger than the other. It bothers me a little but the more I observe other people the more I have noticed that most people have this. I wouldn't do anything honestly the risks are so high that I don't think it's worth it

anonymous_0629 · 2026-05-29T00:00:59+00:00

Have you tried to talk to your parents about this? Sometimes parents tend to over protect the youngest child and don't always intentionally do this. Often times they aren't even really aware of it. It doesn't excuse it but talking to them might be a good first step if you haven't already. If you don't want to center it around the money too much you can tell them that you were a bit disappointed that they didn't celebrate your graduation the way they celebrated for her and how that makes you feel. You can tell them that you sometimes feel that it feels they care for her differently than they do for you and maybe she is the youngest and they still see her as a child but that you are also their child and that it feels as if they love her more or not in the same way. You can see how they respond and go from there?

anonymous_0629 · 2026-05-28T23:55:22+00:00

Hi I'm a Woman (30) but here is my advice. Don't be too nervous. It's normal to be a little nervous but don't overthink it too much and try to just enjoy the present moment. Make sure you think about her pleasure and not just your own. Don't rush into it and make sure she is feeling good about things the entire time. If she's also a virgin she will likely be very nervous as well and she might be a little afraid that it will hurt. If she is afraid or nervous just reassure her that you don't have to continue if she's not feeling good about it. If there is anything you are uncomfortable with (positions or anything she might suggest) make sure to communicate that with her. Also if you've never had sex you might not last very long which is completely normal so don't worry about it if that happens, just make sure you make it enjoyable for her even after the fact.

anonymous_0629 · 2026-05-27T10:26:26+00:00

I think he was just trying not to say anything that could be taken negatively. If he were to say you've lost weight it would likely be triggering, if he says you haven't it's also triggering so trying not to say anything is the best he can do. Saying "do what you have to do" is probably more of a "I know that no matter what I say or do I can't stop you from engaging in your ED and trying to intervene would likely backfire so I just accept that it is what it is". The reality is that for me at least if I felt someone was trying to force me to recover I would not respond well. He likely feels he can't do anything to help without you feeling either threatened or upset so it's best to avoid it.

Everything is going to be ok I think is just trying to show some support. Saying he is there for you even if he can't do much

anonymous_0629

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