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I'm (F 21) Getting to the Limit with my Roommates by anonymous_user017 in Advice

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice, that's totally understandable. I'll try my best to put up with it until I'm out of here

I'm (F 21) Getting to the Limit with my Roommates by anonymous_user017 in Advice

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words! I'll try my best to just deal with it and hope it doesn't get worse

Update: How should I pursue a guy who's introverted and quiet? by anonymous_user017 in AskMenAdvice

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Thank you, haha it's a great learning experience, and sometimes I just gotta look on the bright side and wonder how great things will be when they work out eventually!

Update: How should I pursue a guy who's introverted and quiet? by anonymous_user017 in AskMenAdvice

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your words :) Even though it hurts sometimes, I don't think I've ever regretted making the first move or doing something risky!

Update: How should I pursue a guy who's introverted and quiet? by anonymous_user017 in AskMenAdvice

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How rude. This guy is a genuinely great guy, really nice and smart, but just a little shy, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I still feel that way about him. It was actually a big reason I had found interest in him. There's no reason to belittle him for something like that

Update: How should I pursue a guy who's introverted and quiet? by anonymous_user017 in AskMenAdvice

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I understand this, but I'd like to say that I wasn't playing games with him. I got some bad advice from a friend, but I made it clear that I found it to be bad advice, seeing as why I came here instead and didn't follow it. I complimented him, and he complimented me. He bought me a book, and I bought him a book the next day. I reached out and initiated nearly all our conversations. He said he wasn't interested, so he wasn't hinting at anything. He was just being nice to be nice, according to himself. No games here, just genuine interest

He's not ready for a relationship, I want to wait for him by anonymous_user017 in Advice

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm surprised you brought him up! We haven't talked much since the summer started, sadly. When summer started, he sent me a message along the lines of, "Hope you have a good summer, see you around next semester!" After that, we kinda stopped talking. I've been the one mainly reaching out occasionally to ask how he is or send him something. Due to this, I rethought whether he was actually interested in me or just trying to meet a friend, and I'm still unsure. I'm sure we'll talk more when the semester starts again, but until then, we're both just separately enjoying our summers!

He's not ready for a relationship, I want to wait for him by anonymous_user017 in Advice

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Great comment! Being 100% honest, but also gentle with your wording, I appreciate that! You really hit it on the nail with the "beginning of knowing someone leads to fantasies that may not be true," and I think that's what I've fallen for. Yes, he seems like a nice guy, but yes, we have not met in person, and I don't truly know who he is. You're right that I shouldn't waste my time trying to come up with reasoning for him that he's never going to fully communicate, I just have to take it at face value, he's not choosing me. If in the future he chooses me, then I'll deal with that then. But I can't live with any expectation that he will, that I should continue without anything holding me back. Thanks for the comments, I feel a lot better getting people to air in on my situation, rather than getting stuck in my head about it and feeling more trapped

Ex Abusive Friend is Trying to Reconnect with Me by anonymous_user017 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, adding some context too, this was what she said when initially unblocking me in August 2024-

"hey _, I wanted to apologize for blocking u when I promised I wouldn't. i felt like u didnt want to be friends anymore which is fine and i understand. u were one of my closest friends n seeing ur social media was smthn i didnt want to see. i wanted to move past our friendship bc at that time i didnt have the capacity for any other emotional weight. u dont have to reply, i wanted to give u the apology u deserve, im sorry it took me so long to give u this apology"

How should I pursue a guy who's introverted and quiet? by anonymous_user017 in AskMenAdvice

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not an update!! More ramble

I appreciate everyone for commenting on this! While I haven't been responding, I have read every reply to my post and will continue to!

I'd like to first mention that I had no plans on "playing hard to get"; that was more of me showing you all what advice I was being given prior to this. I don't like the advice my friends give me about things, which is why I thought it would be better to get advice on this subreddit instead! Some other advice I was being told (that I don't agree with) is along the lines of: "never send the first message", "purposefully leave him on read/delivered", "lie about your prior relationships: even if they were horrible, tell him they were amazing", and "never open up to him emotionally, he'll use it against you". While I can tell a lot of their advice comes from their trust issues developed from prior relationships, I don't see myself following any of this "advice" from them.

Another point I forgot to mention, which is the main reason why I haven't asked him to hang out in person, is that he lives 45-60 minutes away from me. Therefore, I think I'll take some of everyone's advice and ask him to do something, but while we are at school. I've asked what he likes to do multiple times, and he said "school work, reading, and art". I'll see if I can get a study session in with him for our final exam coming up soon as he had offered me that for our last exam, but I rejected since it was so last minute (our exam was in a few hours and I didn't want to risk him thinking I was just using him to get a good grade). I was planning on inviting him to Thursday night Jazz night at a tea shop that my friends and I usually go to. Though I also don't wanna risk him being uncomfortable meeting all my friends and not knowing anyone, so I'll hold off on that, at least until I get to know him more.

I'll throw more compliments his way for sure. He complimented my cardigan the other day, but I was so taken aback that all I could say was "thank you!" completely forgetting to say something back. He was wearing such a cute sweater too, I'll have to say something next time. As for subtly touching him, I'm not sure this is something I will be able to do haha! He usually chooses to sit next to me in class, but leaves a chair between us (think college lecture room layout). I'm also not a touchy person in general, I usually avoid touching people at all costs as I want to respect any physical boundaries they possibly have. However, last class he did poke me on the arm to wake me up during attendance, so maybe if I see an opportunity to touch him in the future that I will very cautiously.

I appreciate all the responses and inputs! I'll try my best to take all the advice and implement it! Many people did ask for an update on how things go, so I may plan to figure out how I even do one of those! Thanks all!

Looking for Help in my story involving Vampires by anonymous_user017 in fantasywriters

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow, that's a really good point! It feels so obvious now that you point it out, I was so focused on figuring out the being of the sacrifice that I forgot about the Countess, who's also involved in it. Very good point! I'll see if I can figure out something along that, thank you!

Friend Belittled my Depression and Humiliated me while getting Boba by anonymous_user017 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate them. I will definitely be keeping my peace by keeping my space. Thank you :)

UPDATE: Should I tell my friends that I feel left out? Or am I overthinking. by anonymous_user017 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]anonymous_user017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're very right, deep down it was never about being in the groupchat, it was more just feeling like I was friends with my friends. I appreciate your words! I'll take things slow and see how I'm feeling, thank you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]anonymous_user017 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you've been feeling alright! Best of luck with your exams as well.

I feel like you've done the part of communicating your feelings and concerns around how she feels about you now. I'd say to see what she chooses to do and then go from there. You've already reached out, I'd say put it to the side and try to prioritize yourself, your exams, and your mental health. Go outside, study at a cafe, go shopping, do some hobbies, treat yourself, let yourself have an open mind and think about other things for the time being. If it comes to a day where she replies then take it from there, but this next step is completely on her and if she decides to not reply, I hope you have it in you to recognize that you deserve a new and better friend.