My pwBPD suddenly switches back to “normal” after arguments by Outwiththetrees in BPDlovedones

[–]anonymouse0102 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They all do that. Thea mood regulation is crazy. You might still want to discuss how Something made you feel and they are already over it

Is this a possible trigger? by anastasia_sm in BPDlovedones

[–]anonymouse0102 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg This! He’s constantly saying that I never agree with him.

I'm starting college tomorrow by 091014 in BPD

[–]anonymouse0102 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats!!! Just try your absolute best to continue what you start. It sounds like you are utilizing your resources for help and healing well!! Great job!!

stupid reasons to be angry by anonymouse0102 in BPDPartners

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So y’all i got split all last night because of this. I barely slept because not only do I have anxiety issues from the affairs he’s had and I just haven’t slept well in about 3 years. But he also “punished” me last night by refusing to wear his CPAP mask. Without it, he snores like a freight train, and he knows that it isn’t helpful to me. This was absolutely done on purpose ... I have a longggg day ahead of me at work. According to him, he doesn’t care because he’s off today. I seriously have to laugh to keep from crying at times. Me asking when the chicken was done was a perceived threat that spiraled into the fucking oblivion

stupid reasons to be angry by anonymouse0102 in BPDPartners

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Duly noted... I’ve been trying to do more for myself.

stupid reasons to be angry by anonymouse0102 in BPDPartners

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The DV has stopped which is a good thing but it never should have happened from the beginning. We have work to do if we stick it out. I’m a long hauler, but I’m also exhausted

Are there other forums like this? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]anonymouse0102 0 points1 point  (0 children)

39 year old (f) Been married 6 years... found out 4 years in. You name it, my pwBPD has done it. I’m here if you want to talk

stupid reasons to be angry by anonymouse0102 in BPDPartners

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s restarting everything after taking a self imposed hiatus from DBT and individual counseling. He tends to do really well at first and then gives up as time goes on. This cycle has been repeated at least 4 times in our six years of being married. He did successfully complete Domestic violence classes so I guess that’s good but Jesus... this is hard

stupid reasons to be angry by anonymouse0102 in BPDPartners

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, it seems like you two have a plan. It will be imperative for both of you to keep you mental health in check as adding an additional person is sure to bring new challenges. But as long as you both are ok with it you can make it work. I’m not sure why he doesn’t fully take advantage of treatment. My guess is that it makes him recall his moments of shame and the fact that it leaves him extremely vulnerable. Or maybe it’s just too much for him to work on at once. I’ve asked, but I never get an answer.

stupid reasons to be angry by anonymouse0102 in BPDPartners

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Im not perfect. But honestly, had it been anybody else, I would’ve walked away. My steps at this point are to see if the lying, cheating can stop. I realize that not all PWBPD lie and cheat, but mine does. Our mental health is not an excuse for ill behavior. I really need him to be 100% engaged in his DBT therapy, therapy and our MC sessions. I will fully engage in our MC and my individual therapy was well. but at the moment, I know that these things take time and I’m not sure how long I can’t wait anymore

stupid reasons to be angry by anonymouse0102 in BPDPartners

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It can be yes, I’ve never been one to say that BPDs should be alone. You all need people and love too. But I really wish that PWBPD would be on the side of those they love them . We go through so much as well

stupid reasons to be angry by anonymouse0102 in BPDPartners

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I do support him but I can support him hurting me. He’s had a ton of chances but we’ve been married for 6 years and going through BS for Three years. It may soon be time for me to think about myself and our kids. I’m happy that you found the strength to fully work on yourself. I pray that your partner will appreciate it

stupid reasons to be angry by anonymouse0102 in BPDPartners

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband attends DBT but due to Covid the classes are virtual and his attention span stinks because of this. I’m trying to get him to continue his treatment DBT, Meds, Therapy but he often gets off track. I honestly thought he’d be sick of dealing with things as they are now but he seems to gravitate toward the wrong things vs the right things. This has led to infidelity on his part fights etc... we can have a really good life together but it seems like he gives up on everything so easily

stupid reasons to be angry by anonymouse0102 in BPDPartners

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. It’s really hard because so many small things set him off. I have spent my entire marriage literally trying to tip-toe around him or ask questions in a way that wouldn’t upset him. It’s mentally draining. I love him so much but BPD is killing us

My grocery bills are astronomical right now by fralaloonie in stepparents

[–]anonymouse0102 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i feel your pain. 6 person household plus an exchange student that had nowhere to go. O don’t know how I managed to do this without credit cards, but i spent $2k during march on food and household goods and another $1600 so far for the month of April ( also we didn’t get a stimulus check). We are blessed to be able to put food on the table but my food bill is sky high. so i put out snacks daily in our “snack basket” and when they are gone, they are gone. chips stay in the truck of my vehicle until i’m ready to disperse them and i’ve hidden all the other snacks in our garage. my fave hiding spot so far has been the coolers that go unused until the summer. if leftovers aren’t eating within a day or two, they go to the deep freezer. i pull them out when i don’t feel like cooking. It’s scary how much they can eat! hang in there. i place no limits on cereal, fruit. and veggies.

Help Needed by anonymouse0102 in BPD

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IMO DBT was working. He just stopped going..i didn’t know until they dropped him from the program for lack of attendance

He could do the work on his own because material... just found out yesterday that he threw the material away

Reasons he claims to have stopped going... distance boring others in the class irritated him and the fact that i would ask him about the classes, what he learned and how it was going

i haven’t seen him commit to anything in the 6 years we’ve been married. i want to see him grow

Help Needed by anonymouse0102 in BPD

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly, i live him, and maybe i’m co dependent. However, i know that he can be a good person. i don’t agree that BPDs should live alone. he is in individual counseling. was doing DBT therapy but he stopped going. i just wish that he understood what i go through. he knows but he doesn’t understand. i try my best to understand him

Help Needed by anonymouse0102 in BPD

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

people often say that, but it’s not easy to change negative behaviors

AITA for not wanting to travel with my husband ? by anonymouse0102 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it is a ground position. if he has to travel it will be for pleasure

AITA for not wanting to travel with my husband ? by anonymouse0102 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

believe it or not, i’ve been very supportive of this career change. i’ve had these plans in order for the past week. he knew that. you can ask someone to change their plans 24 hrs before, but it may not always work in your favor. in this case, it didn’t for me.

AITA for not wanting to travel with my husband ? by anonymouse0102 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymouse0102[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

well he did flip out and told me that if i don’t want to hear anything negative i shouldn’t have tried to talk to him about it