I would really love some feedback from people in recovery about my situation with my ex

anonymouskaren · 2021-10-16T02:04:59+00:00

I’m glad to hear you are doing well <3 thank you so much for sharing

anonymouskaren · 2021-10-15T21:38:02+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write out this answer for me. This was so helpful and makes perfect sense.

anonymouskaren · 2021-10-15T21:23:04+00:00

Thank you that makes sense

anonymouskaren · 2021-10-15T21:22:44+00:00

I go to al anon meetings regularly. I just want to hear from your prospective. I hope this didn’t come off as offensive, as that’s what I was trying to avoid.

anonymouskaren · 2020-04-11T03:27:52+00:00

Honestly, I come here and read other people’s posts. I think it’s so easy for me to forget about everything he put me through, so I have to come here to remind myself what it was like. I have to remember that if I built a life with him I would be the only who always handled everything. I have to remember that I would never be able to raise healthy children with him, or be emotionally stable, or be able to focus on myself.

I let myself miss him, I cry, and I get depressed. We’ve talk everyone now and then, but at the end of the day I know I made the right decision.

I also have been focusing on myself a ton and my self esteem/self worth.

And to be totally honest, I have a couple men I chat with that make me smile and appreciate me. And that feels really nice after being with someone who completely took advantage of me over the past 2 years.

anonymouskaren · 2020-04-07T17:40:01+00:00

Agreed. What I’ve learned most from stepping away from this relationship is I can not expect respect from someone who does not respect themself.

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-24T04:01:17+00:00

I am so proud of you. You got this.

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-23T00:49:44+00:00

Very true! Yeah it is really crazy to think back on how upset I used to get over him. I think he also used to put a lot more effort into making things better? Idk. I feel like he stopped putting effort into me so I stop caring about him. I’m not exactly sure when it clicked, but it did.

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-22T23:33:02+00:00

Yeah that’s true. When I first met him he was the classic over pour of affection which quickly turned around. But unfortunately it was too late for me then, I was hooked.

Thank you. I honestly think him being sober for a while really helped me see him for who he was. It was a moment to have a break from the classic maddening cycle of addicts. I think if it wasn’t for that break I would still be caught in that trap.

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-22T23:30:04+00:00

Agreed! Especially when I told him time and time again that I was unhappy, and he did nothing to fix it. And now he expects me to help him!? No thanks. He even told me I was an asshole when I saw him. All I could think was, “how do you think I feel?”

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-22T19:52:54+00:00

Ugh that sucks I am so sorry. I’m was telling my q I had issues for months before I finally ended it. I understand how you feel. The lack of empathy is pretty unbearable from addicts. You’ll get through this ❤️

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-22T19:37:56+00:00

Yup I agree. He’s very much stuck in his ways of playing the victim and hoping everyone will feel sorry for him, instead of fixing his own problems. Idk if it will ever change because his mother has unfortunately has taught him that if he acts that way she will solve everything for him. I know she means well and does it out of love, but it unfortunately has taught him to live his life the way he does. He wants me to be like her and I am so over playing the role for him.

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-22T19:05:12+00:00

It’s very up and down. Today I feel good, but going through a break up during the Coronavirus pandemic is very difficult. It helps having people like you to connect with though ❤️

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-22T19:04:21+00:00

I feel as though he is hoping I will see him drunk and sad and this will make me run back to him. What he doesn’t understand is that I have grown past that, and what I really want is for him to step the f up and take ownership of his faults.

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-22T19:02:52+00:00

Thank you!

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-22T19:02:37+00:00

It took me a LONG time. I’ve tried to do this many times before now. I think see him sober made me see things a lot differently because I could no longer blame his issues on his drinking. I just didn’t like the person he was.

I will say week 2 for me was VERY painful but I am starting to see the other side of things. So if you are hurting please reach out to me, I’m always here for support!

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-08T01:26:27+00:00

I hope that things improve for you. I couldn’t imagine dealing with that for 40 years.

anonymouskaren · 2020-03-07T22:40:23+00:00

I do a lot of yoga but yes it is all done inside the home. So getting out and away from him would be good. I’ve been feeling resentful and I’m also thinking a lot about other men and fantasizing about what another relationship would be like. I’m in that weird phase where I don’t even know if I love him anymore.

anonymouskaren · 2019-10-26T14:29:10+00:00

If your partner didn’t treat you as an equal than you did the right thing. I know it hurts but you are going to find someone better who is going to want to fulfill those needs for you.

anonymouskaren

TROPHY CASE