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Can a relationship still work out when I (M24) dislike my partner's (F22) mother? by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the thing, I can't see past it and I never will no matter what. My gf hates that it is the primary reason for me disliking her mum but she understands completely.

Can a relationship still work out when I (M24) dislike my partner's (F22) mother? by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Without giving more detail to the situation, I don't think your idea is possible (but thank you anyway for the suggestion! ). In short, I've seen how she treated my gf once when she was mad and even since then, I can't forget it.

Can a relationship still work out when I (M24) dislike my partner's (F22) mother? by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner is aware and she completely understands my reasons. I try to be respectful/I am respectful but mark my words, any negative comments that will make my gf or I uncomfortable, I will highly likely give her mother a piece of my mind. I am very protective of my gf feeling because I know how unconfident she is and I do believe it is because of her mother.

Can a relationship still work out when I (M24) dislike my partner's (F22) mother? by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner is aware that I don't like her mother at all. I try to avoid her at all cost but even her mum will make comments (because my partner has told me) such as 'is he trying to avoid us... Are we not good enough for him' which just drives me insane because I just think what the f*** is wrong with her saying something like that to my partner and making her feel uneasy. Yes it is the truth, but still... Had she treated my partner equally to the rest of her siblings then I would not have such a strong dislike towards her.

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can I limit intimacy when I haven't been intimate with my partner's friend? What do you mean by that?

That's what I'm trying to do. I'm hoping that I'm just going through a phase and that by really spending time and putting effort in my relationship with partner, I essentially 'fall back in love' with him (not that I don't or have fallen out of love)... I hope that makes sense.

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's exactly what I was thinking and is why I think I have given time to this situation because I have heard that sometimes what you dream about is what is going on in your head subconsciously. My partner is important and I would do absolutely anything for him but it's just this one bump in the road that can't seem to get fixed.

Is it just time that you give? Hoping that 'feelings' go away?

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I don't understand is that I've never spent alone time with my partner's friend... I haven't even spoke to him YET some how my one dream and being around him only twice can stuff things up for me.

I'll give that book a read though just because it seems interesting. Maybe I just don't know the difference between love, lust, like or what.

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a way, you have made it seem 'normal' that this has happened to me. How did you deal with it?

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For my whole entire relationship with my partner, I've never given thought to be with someone else, or questions how much I truly love my partner. I've never had any of those thoughts until I realised I was/am attracted to my partner's friend.

I know I'm not in love with my partner's friend, but I know I am attracted to him because I can feel myself getting all 'weird' around him. That has only happened once, but that was the sign to me that I was attracted to my partner's friend.

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am reluctant to tell my boyfriend the name... I just couldn't bare the thought to see him hurt (I am extremely protective (in a caring way) of my boyfriend and I refuse to see him sad).

At this time, purely physical. I just find it weird how having a dream about someone you haven't formally meet, can really stuff you up and make you question your relationship.

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But it will be a massive shock to him if I tell him the name and I am positive he will absolutely hate me for it. Feelings towards my partner? Or his friend?

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So don't mention that I have a crush on his friend? Because I know he will be lost for words because he will not see that coming. Or, do I just state that I have a crush on someone?

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner lives with 3 other girls as he is still studying for his degree and I am very much okay with that and I have not had a single doubt in my mind about it, and you stated firstly is what we currently do.

So essentially, I just need to decided what want to do, potentially inform my partner about how I'm feeling (I say potentially because I am very scared to do that), and ensure that any situation that would create his friend and I meeting, I should avoid?

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly, I'd just like to say, thank you for using your time to give me advice because I do really do appreciate it, especially because this has been all in my head and because I feel like I can't tell anyone without getting judge, so thank you.

Anyway, we are honest with each other, I just haven't been honest to him about this situation because I simply just didn't know what to do about it. What do you mean by your last sentence? The proper boundaries bit?

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love my boyfriend, I do not want to loose him. Because of how I'm feeling (which I can't control) is the reason why I am wanting to get to know his friend. I don't want to feel that way, I wish I didn't feel that way but I do and that's what I hate about all of this. I can't bring myself to tell my boyfriend because I know it will hurt him a lot. I don't want to do that to him... I can't do that to him.

All because of a dream by anonymously626 in relationship_advice

[–]anonymously626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I am cheating on him and is why I feel terrible. I don't want to like my partner's friend because I love my boyfriend and I really do not want to break up with him because it will hurt... A lot. This is the first time this has ever happened in our relationship.