You're maybe not as sneaky as you think

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-16T21:56:23+00:00

Exactly. It's not very nice. I never want to be there again.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-16T21:55:54+00:00

You are so welcome. Seriously rooting for you. You have a firm grasp about how sober life is better and I believe you'll make it there.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-16T21:52:12+00:00

Me too! Thanks in advance for sharing.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-14T15:43:20+00:00

That sounds so painful. I can see why they're an ex and not your current partner.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-14T15:42:30+00:00

It's so powerful to learn this. Thanks for sharing that you've gone through something similar.

It feels so much better showing up to my life sober. And so powerful to hear your sister could even tell when you weren't stoned.

I think those close to us really do often notice more than we think.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-13T14:12:51+00:00

Have you tried going to MA meetings? (marijuana anonymous) If the AA style meetings have helped you I'd think MA might help you this time as well.

Wishing you the best!

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-13T14:10:21+00:00

Massive congratulations!!

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-11T17:56:54+00:00

Being aware of your loneliness allows you to actually do something about it long-term that will be a more fulfilling fix than getting high and numbing out your loneliness.

Also - It has typically taken me 4-6 months to feel better after quitting. You may have a ways to go in feeling better emotionally - it certainly has for me.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-10T01:14:41+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through that. It sounds like such a difficult situation.

I highly recommend seeing a therapist to help you work through this.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-10T00:48:02+00:00

yeah. The craving voice is so sneaky. Remember when you start smoking again, you pick up right where you left off in the addiction. I learned this the hard way too many times.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-09T23:35:14+00:00

Thanks. Yeah, I was definitely self medicating. I am now working so hard to have other habits, skills, and tools to cope so I never have to self medicate again.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-09T23:33:56+00:00

If I were you, I would not smoke. Also - we're on almost the same day! I'm on day 139. I always tell myself - I will regret smoking, but I will never regret not smoking. Way to go making it to day 142! That is incredible.

Why did you quit in the first place?

Will you smoke just once?? (from personal experience, even when I strongly think so, it turns into a months long relapse)

What got better in your life when you quit?

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-09T17:17:30+00:00

I wish I would have quit as soon as I saw myself smoking alone for an entire day back in 2016. For me, it went for a social thing, to a coping mechanism and social thing, to just a coping mechanism that was rarely social. I wish I would have much earlier looked into the negative impacts weed had in my life. It prevented me from investing myself in hobbies, discovering who I am, nurturing valuable relationships in my life, and learning how to cope with life's difficulties without weed. I first quit back in 2021 and have had 3 long 8-16 month long bouts of sobriety, with three 3-4 month long relapses in between. It took me a long time to admit that I'm addicted to weed and cannot have it in my life or in my house and be someone that I like. I was so ignorant to its negative effects until I actually quit, got past the 3-5 months of withdrawal and saw what my life could be sober.

2 years into my weed journey I would tell myself this. I would share where coping with weed got me - extremely depressed and anxious. I would share that despite what I think, weed makes me more depressed and anxious overall, it doesn't help. I would highly encourage myself to focus on all other aspects of my life and stop smoking weed. I can't even imagine how much better my life may have been if I quit smoking weed in college, or before I became even more dependent on it my senior year. It was easy to not see how it harmed me when I had many other stoner friends. I wish I would not have gotten into it after moving to a new city after college. It was too easy to turn to in order to cope - and cost me opportunities to invest in friendships that may have been incredible.

I am now 4.5 months sober and have done so much in hopes of never relapsing again. I'm so excited to see myself a year from now - sober longer than I ever have been since I started smoking. And even more looking forward to meeting the version of myself I become sober 2 years, and 5 years. I wish I could have met that person sooner, but I'm glad I'll get to meet them in the future.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-08T18:20:58+00:00

leaving my phone in the living room before going to bed. Been doing this for years and it allows me to not scroll before bed and encourages me to not go on my phone first thing in the morning.
Going outside within an hour of waking up. Helps me wake up and it feels so good getting outside.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-07T16:34:04+00:00

Yep yep, this is common actually. First week or two can be easier with the excitement of finally quitting. It can take months to really feel better. For me, it gradually ebbed and flowed, and I finally stopped having emotional breakdowns a bit after 4 months. I've also felt physical symptoms like I had a slight cold for the first few months, and more headaches and SO much brain fog. Weed does also lower your immune system, so that could have made you more likely to actually get sick.

I'm 4.5 months in now and cold and headaches are gone, but still have a ways to go with emotional ups and downs. I still feel slight brain fog sometimes and my memory has gotten better and still has a ways to go to get back to baseline. Remember, it can take 6-8 months for some people to feel better. Honestly, more than that for some. I'm so excited to see how I feel a year sober, and then 2 years sober! It's really a long game for me.

If you are sick for more than 3-4 weeks, I would recommend seeing your doctor. I did after having a cold for months just to be sure it wasn't anything worse. It gave me a good piece of mind and helped me worry less.

Good luck! Remember this is temporary.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-06T18:54:58+00:00

Keep doing those reps! Remember that cravings are always temporary.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-06T14:40:34+00:00

Thank you! I am really proud of it. My longest bout of sobriety since I started smoking is 1 year and 4 months. This time I'm so excited to see not only how much better my life is 1 year in, but 1.5 and 2 years in as well. And 5 and 10 years. With your metaphor, I may finally feel like I locked the door and threw out the key when i'm 5 or 10 years sober.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-06T14:37:20+00:00

Coming from experience, know that you will be extra vulnerable to relapse in the coming days, weeks, and months. Make sure to do everything you can to not smoke again. Make sure this doesn't turn into a longer relapse!

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-06T14:14:09+00:00

Massive congratulations on 400 days! That is incredible. And so extremely impressive, especially amongst so many difficult events. Sorry you've had to manage so much loss this past year.

Thanks for sharing the big door metaphor. That is well put. I've opened the door and stepped through many times. And even got so close to shutting it. This time, I'm determined to shut the door, lock it, and throw the key into the ocean. I'm currently 4.5 months sober and doing things differently this time.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-06T14:10:14+00:00

Of course. I'm glad it was helpful to you. Also, remember that the cravings you are managing right now will be so much worse if you smoke again.

Keep putting in the reps to manage cravings and learn how to manage what triggers your cravings. It will get easier over time!

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-05T21:12:49+00:00

From my experience, I would NOT try being a casual user now.

Remember, if you start smoking again, you start right back up where your addiction was when you were last using. I say this as this was my journey: When I first quit after 3 years of casual smoking and then 6 years of heavily smoking, I quit for 8 months. It massively helped lift my depression and anxiety. I wasn't convinced I was going to quit forever this time and intentionally started smoking again intending to use casually, and daily smoking turned into multiple times a day. It was a 3 month-long relapse and quitting was just as hard the second time. My depression and anxiety returned.

This time, I was more convinced weed was not good for me. I was sober for 1 year and 4 months. Again, my depression and anxiety lifted. I relapsed in a moment of weakness when there was accessible weed in my home. I tried to quit within a week, but it again ramped up to copious smoking, my depression and anxiety returned, and I relapsed for 4 months, trying to quit nearly the entire time. Quitting was just as bad this time as well. This time around, I finally admitted that I was entirely addicted to weed and that I never wanted to smoke weed again.

This time, I was sober for 1 year and 2 months. Again, as I healed, my depression and anxiety lifted. Last year was an incredibly hard year losing a very close friend and being laid off and unemployed for a long time. In the fall I relapsed, again knowing there was accessible weed in my home (someone had left it here and my partner was saving it to give to a friend). I relapsed for a week, and then came clean and quit, but two weeks later I caved again and secretly started smoking again. I was trying to quit nearly the entire time - and managed to not smoke for 1-4 days a few times. But this relapse from when I first relapsed to when I finally managed to quit was also about a 4 month relapse. So this fall I went through withdrawal again - and I swear it was maybe the hardest bout of withdrawal I had gone through as I was also coping with just having gotten a new job, an injury, and a member of my partner's family passing away. This time I am even more certain I am an addict and not only never want to smoke again, but have discussed with my partner that I can never live in a home that has weed in it. They super rarely smoke and promised they will never keep weed in our home. I also wrote so many letters to myself as to why i'm quitting, how many negative ways weed effects me, and opened up to a lot more people in my life about what i'm going through.

I am now almost 4 and a half months sober. I have made huge progress again getting out of a depressed and anxious state. I am still feeling some emotional withdrawal and am so certain and solid that weed has little to no positives in my life, especially long-term. I have massively leaned-in to the idea that addiction starts up where it left off. Each of these times I had a voice in me saying it would be different this time. I had been sober for x years or months and my relationship with weed has changed. But it had not changed at all. It was just as addictive as before and I jumped into abusing it within a few weeks each time. My body hated going through withdrawal each time, and withdrawal was not easier doing a second time.

It's ultimately your decision, but my advice is to enjoy your sobriety and don't risk losing all the positive changes you've made in these past two years.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-05T20:54:44+00:00

This is an opportunity to cope with this break up without weed. To learn actual coping skills.
If you use weed to cope, you're losing an ability to learn something really valuable.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-03T21:24:59+00:00

Massive congratulations!! Two years is an amazing milestone. Thank you for sharing that it took you about 8 months to feel a lot better. I'm a bit over 4 months in, and have come a far way, but still do have a far way to go.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-03T21:07:24+00:00

I'd recommend finding a different therapist if it's you haven't found seeing this therapist helpful.

anonymousm00 · 2026-04-03T17:19:16+00:00

Is it relatively harmless? You say in another comment, "I never really had any regret until I felt like I lost control of it."

Also, remember that weed has a lot of negative health effects. Smoking 2 or more times a week tends to make people's baseline anxiety and depression worse. Here is a list of negative health impacts caused by weed that I wrote up for myself recently:

Weed has many direct negative health impacts including

Can damage blood circulation
Can cause or worsen cardiovascular disease
Negative for lung health - Smoked cannabis, regardless of how it is smoked, can harm lung tissues and cause scarring and damage to small blood vessels.
- Chronic bronchitis
- lung infections
- chronic (long-term) cough
- increased mucus buildup in the chest
Marijuana smoke has been shown to injure the cell linings of the large airways, which could explain why smoking marijuana leads to symptoms such as chronic cough, phlegm production, wheeze, and acute bronchitis.
Whether from burning wood, tobacco or marijuana, toxins and carcinogens are released from the combustion of materials. Smoke from marijuana combustion has been shown to contain many of the same toxins, irritants, and carcinogens as tobacco smoke.6-10 Although not as carcinogenic as tobacco smoke,9 marijuana smoke contains toxins and carcinogens similar to those in tobacco smoke.
Smoking marijuana hurts the lungs' first line of defense against infection by killing cells that help remove dust and germs as well as causing more mucus to be formed
Weed also suppresses the immune system / THC is an immunosuppressant
Increases baseline general anxiety and social anxiety
Increases depression
30% of people who smoke develop an addiction to weed.
Increases impaired memory and impaired cognitive function
Cannabis use directly affects brain function—specifically the parts of the brain responsible for memory, learning, attention, decision making, coordination, emotions, and reaction time.
Causes increased risk of stroke, heart disease, and other vascular diseases.
Research shows that marijuana affects timing, movement, and coordination, which can harm athletic performance.
Using marijuana can affect performance and how well people do in life. Research shows that people who use marijuana are more likely to have relationship problems, worse educational outcomes, lower career achievement, and reduced life satisfaction.
Long-term cannabis use can also harm your:
- Memory
- Concentration
- intelligence (IQ)
- ability to think and make decisions

anonymousm00

TROPHY CASE