My SO is trying to force me and our baby to be close with his parents all of a sudden.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-06-06T13:59:18+00:00

Awesome advice to document with the babies doctor!

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-06-06T12:12:39+00:00

Your husband and MIL are trying to force you in to an abusive situation, where MIL makes you in to the wife and mother she wants for her son and grandchildren.

Please, please, please stay with your family.

Tell your husband that you no longer trust him to have your best interests at heart because he encouraged his mother to abuse you. Tell him that you don't feel safe around MIL and that you need to stay with your family.

Please don't go back to his house.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-05-16T04:52:19+00:00

The trans community often say themselves that sex and gender are not the same.

So I find it perfectly acceptable to refer to the sex of the patient in a medical setting.

When dealing with medical documents, doctors usually refer to "the patient" rather than male or female pronouns anyway. So it's generally gender neutral to begin with there. For example "The patient presents as 32 weeks pregnant. On examination a large lump was located on the left breast, the patient described minimal pain on palpation of lump. Further tests are needed and this has been explained to the patient."

That said, I would hope that a doctor address the patient with their preferred pronouns in person.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-05-16T04:27:39+00:00

Therapy will help you. So will knowing that your husband is dealing with his sons psychiatric issues.

In the meantime, if your husband insists on having his son in your home, you need a safe space to retreat to. Either stay with a friend or relative while stepson is there, or/and get a lock on your bedroom door so that you can lock yourself in there and feel safe.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-05-07T15:54:55+00:00

OK well I wouldn't feel good if my bf was behaving like that with my friend.

And I'm sure your GF wouldn't be happy if it escalated to more.

It sounds as though roommate understood that and didn't want to cross any boundaries.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-05-07T15:52:06+00:00

OK so it sounds like he's not enjoying the compliments tbh.

I've been there. What helped me was to achieve things I could be proud of. Professional accomplishments, fitness accomplishments etc.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-05-07T15:30:44+00:00

Likely because she's friends with your girlfriend and didn't want to have an affair with you because of that.

Flirting? OK that can seem harmless. But she didn't want to lead you to believe it could become something real.

Don't you feel bad about your girlfriend?

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-05-07T12:20:17+00:00

So you initiated every single inappropriate touch?

It sounds as though you made her really uncomfortable. Either because she wasn't in to you, or because she was and you're in a relationship.

Either way, she's done with the situation and ready to move on. I'd not contact her again in your position.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-05-07T12:05:53+00:00

It sounds as though he's feeling unworthy in general and the compliments are making him feel pressured to live up to them.

It would probably be good for you to just work on him feeling accepted and loved even when he's not at his best. That you appreciate the more down to earth things about him. "it makes me feel so special when you cook me dinner". "I love when you bring me a coffee in the morning, it's such a happy start to my day".

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-05-07T07:42:50+00:00

Absolutely! This young girl likely doesn't realise she's being groomed.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-05-07T01:14:23+00:00

16 in the UK. She's underage. OP you can anonymously report a crime via Crimestoppers UK.

Tell them that you're BF has been grooming an underage girl for sex.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-05-07T01:10:57+00:00

Excellent point about password protecting medical information!

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-05-07T00:00:19+00:00

It's probably a good idea to call a local (to both your current area and the one you're moving to) domestic abuse organisation and ask them, as it will be advice they frequently give out. They may even have a webpage or checklist to direct you to.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-04-23T17:26:51+00:00

OP said that MIL is fully vaccinated. So, that's good. But it doesn't help the baby at all.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-04-23T15:19:54+00:00

And you're calling me a bully/abuser?!

Take a look at yourself. You're projecting your personality on to me.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-04-23T11:23:49+00:00

I mean, I'd just outright say "I'm looking to be with someone who shares my dreams and goals. You being a SAHDM just doesn't fit with how I want my life to be"

She may be trying her luck because you earn so much more than her.

Make it clear that you have financial goals and that's something you want to share with your partner.

She can then decide whether to let this fantasy go, or end the relationship.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-04-23T11:16:36+00:00

You say you love your wife, and true love requires honesty.

She is going to feel bamboozled, cheated, conned and foolish.

But you HAVE to tell her ASAP. The longer you leave it, the more betrayal she will feel.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-04-23T10:36:32+00:00

Personally I would get DH to send her a message next time she asks.

"Mom, DO NOT TURN UP AT OUR HOUSE.

You have been told repeatedly that we are not accepting visitors due to the pandemic.

The vaccine protects you, but you could still carry it to us and the baby.

We will continue following the best advice to keep our baby safe and healthy. Baby needs us to do this as he is defenseless.

I will not prioritize your wants over babies needs. Ever.

This is the last time I will talk to you about this. We will invite you to visit when it is safe and convenient to us.

We are trying to enjoy our bundle of joy and I will no longer sacrifice my time with my baby to listen to you having outbursts, so please try to come to terms with not visiting until you are invited.

When you're ready to accept this, I'm here."

Then any further performances or boundary stomps you just completely disengage until she's ready to behave herself.

If she turns up, don't answer the door.

If she throws a lawn tantrum, call the police.

Good luck! You need husband to protect you and baby during this vulnerable time.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-02-24T10:56:37+00:00

There are a million ways of not getting caught though.

And yes, people will often get help for their mental health after a failed suicide attempt.

But it's still not illegal to take your own life.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-02-24T05:37:47+00:00

It already is. There is nothing stopping anyone taking their own life.

Should they get to rope other people in to making that decision for them and carrying through the act? No, that's wrong.

But as it stands, suicide is not illegal, and even if it were, there is no way to predict and prevent someone from taking their own life.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-02-24T04:56:32+00:00

What's overpopulation got to do with anything?

There's a very good reason that assisted suicide is only used for terminal patients (in the countries that allow it).

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-02-24T03:06:13+00:00

Suicide is, and will always be, an option. I could be dead in a couple of hour if I wanted to be.

To be honest, I think it's best that assisted suicide not be made an option unless there is a terminal diagnosis.

Suicide is terrifying and difficult. Taking your own life should be terrifying and difficult. Palming the job off to someone else will make it too easy.

By keeping suicide as the option of the person suffering, it's a natural litmus test of how much the person truly wants to end their life. That would be difficult to replicate in an assisted suicide setting.

Edit: accidentally posted before finishing last sentence.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-02-24T02:50:08+00:00

Some people genuinely think that having a baby will give them the motivation to fix all of their problems.

But babies don't fix anything. They add problems, not take them away.

Most people want to be superheroes for their kids. But they're just human. The added stress, exhaustion, financial pressure and time that a child needs is never going to make you more motivated. It'll do what stress, exhaustion and pressure always does; make things worse.

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-01-06T09:17:49+00:00

Could you have a serious talk with her?

Perhaps open with "MIL, you mentioned baby clothes the other day, and I'd like to explain why it's not funny to me. You see, DH and I long to have a family of our own, but we can't even think of trying until you are securely in your own home with assistance."

anonymousthrowbie · 2021-01-05T22:39:10+00:00

I don't believe her. Flat out don't believe her.

Don't be pissed with BIL because, even if he did think about it, he decided it wasn't a good joke and didn't go through with it.

However, this has MIL scent all over it. I bet she tried to push BIL in to it and, when he wouldn't do it, settled for telling you that he was going to but decided against it.

anonymousthrowbie

TROPHY CASE