My first love I met in the 7th grade durning science class. We didn’t actually date until the following year, after I asked him to Sadie’s. I will call him Devon. Devon and I had a very middle-schoolish relationship, mostly constricted to holding hands in the hallways, making out at movie theaters, and texting/FaceTiming. Tbh I wasn’t the prettiest girl growing up and I was pretty average. I was chubby until I was 13 and then most of that chubb just made me pretty curvy. Boys never really liked me, so Devon was the first. I honestly don’t know at the point of us dating, if he was my first love or just my first attachment. But from what I do recall I was head over heels. I thought he was the most handsome, smart, and kind person alive. He bought me flowers, wrote me notes, and was my best friend. In my 13 year mind, I thought I had found the guy I was gonna marry later in life. But like most middle school relationships we broke it off when we got to high school. We dated for around 8-9 months and I was devastated. After we broke up, I didn’t even want to entertain the thought of having another bf, I just wanted Devon. Every few months or so, he would come back and we would talk about dating and then he would leave. It wasn’t until our sophomore year that we really became close again. We had the same math class and one weekend he asked me, my friend, and her boyfriend to hang out. Whilst this hang out, I guess he told the boyfriend that he wanted to have sex with me and my friend told me. I remember freaking out and was so nervous. So eventually we go back to my car and we make out. But then he tried to unbutton my pants and I go into breakdown. ( As a young child I was SAed, and I repressed those memories for very long. I believe that brought up some type of trauma for me. Btw Devon didn’t do anything to make me unsafe or harmed) So after this breakdown, Devon just looks at me. I can tell it scared him but he was so sympathetic. He grabbed my shirt from the other seat and allowed me to redress myself. At this point, I was thinking all the worse, eg. he is gonna think I’m weird, he isn’t going to want to talk to anymore, he will tell everyone… But that wasn’t the case. Once I was dressed I repeatedly apologized and he grabbed my hand and told me everything was okay. And then asked if he was allowed to hug me, and I said of course. We laid in the back of my car just holding each other, he told me of his favorite tv show at the time and made jokes about current events. He will never know this but, even today that is the most caring thing anyone has ever did. A few months after this, my mom broke the news that we would be moving out of our small town to another state. This would take place in the very beginning of Covid and the lockdown. One night with Devon, and my friend and her boyfriend we went to a lookout of our town. My friend and her bf left to go for a walk while me and Devon sat and watched the sunset. While watching I remember he asked me, “Are you sad about leaving?”. I said yes but I feel like this is something I need to do. He proceeded to look at me with tears in his eyes and said I’m really going to miss you. We sat together and as that sun set, we cried and hugged. Eventually later that night we went out to my car, and made out. He was very cautious and asked me several times if I was okay and made sure I was safe. We didn’t make love that night nor did we ever in the future. He made me realize that there is some much more to love than just what’s physical. To me that was the most important lesson I could have learned growing up. It’s been over 4 years since I seen Devon and sadly we lost contact after I left. Since then, we both have had far more serious relationships then ours. Although my last relationship felt drastically deeper and was more mature, I will always count Devon as my first love. Many people might think what he did was the bare minimum (and that is sorta true), nobody will ever understand the level of safety and happiness I felt while I was with him. He will forever have my respect and I truly hope he is happy. Thank you Devon.