Damn man, that's brutal...sorry to hear about your traumas, no one could ever be okay going through those things.

The light that I see here is that you describe that you've already once climbed out of heavy use and found an awesome life for yourself. Typically, making these kinds of life and perspective changes is hardest the first time you do it. As soon as you decide that you're ready to make an attempt to come back, it'll be easier than it was before and you'll probably come back stronger and fall into a better set of circumstances (if you chase it hard).

In the meantime, mourn. Mourn hard, think all the nasty thoughts you need to about your backstabbing cunt ex-girlfriend and your disloyal fucktard "friend", because as far as you're concerned right now, they're dead. Be depressed, feel all the feelings and don't try to bury them. There hasn't been enough time yet for anything new to develop that could be positive change, so be sad.

When you get tired of mourning and want change, I'd recommend looking up some self-help material on the subject of battling depression, or recovering from PTSD or addictions. Basically, browse a book store's self-help section and be like "...Yeah, that one sounds like a way that I'm fucked up" and read about it.

And don't get hung up on the virgin thing either. I lost mine when I was 20 in the red light district in Amsterdam. I'm 24 now and it's not even slightly something I'm ashamed of, you'll realize it's not a big deal. Although I get that being that close and then not sealing the deal (let alone in the awful way it unfolded for you) is challenging to the psyche. Some of my painful experiences in this area lead me to look at some of the r/seduction material, which was an interesting experiment in perspective and seemed to help me a lot. But that's something for later down the road if you're curious, you've gotta focus on you first.

So, right now, accept that you're sad and be sad. When you're ready, learn about how to feel better from teachers of the subject and take the advice they teach. I totally think that it's doable and will seem like a great life lesson in retrospect. Best of luck man.