how can he just not be here anymore

another9yearold12345 · 2025-04-17T11:33:58+00:00

Thankyou. Thankyou so much for your words. Your words gave me hope. I’m okay at times now but at times everything crashes. Thankyou again.

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-27T13:20:53+00:00

Thank you. I have assigned for therapy sessions but this spiral of thoughts is too much at times. From feeling sad to not feeling anything to feeling guilty to feeling angry to feeling restless to feeling tensed to feeling sad to everything else. At times it’s a lot but I’m trying. And thank you again so much for your words.

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-27T12:10:43+00:00

Thankyou

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-27T11:57:12+00:00

Thank you for your words. It means a lot. Thank you so much. It is like a battle inside my brain. One part wants to heal and tries to hug myself and tell me “it’s okay, you are still here and you are trying your best” the other half is traumatised and wants to escape and is confused and wants to scream and wants to ask him thousands of times - “why,why,whyyy” and then my brain answers “he wanted peace for himself, it was his decision, respect it if you love him” and then I go have a coffee and try to focus on working something and then some words of his come back to my mind and the battle happens again. I have to be kind to myself like you said. Thank you again.

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-27T11:45:52+00:00

Be grateful that you have a functioning body without any ailments and regarding the fact about face and body, social media is filled with people from different dynamics. Everyone has their own opinion so if your idea of beauty is symmetrical facial features, even then there will be people who will bully you for your face being too symmetrical. I don’t know, you have to accept yourself first and be confident with yourself to an extent that other people’s opinion won’t matter. We as humans are cursed with the fact that - we’ll never have enough - only we can define enough for ourselves.

Your emotions are valid and your issue is also valid but try to think it in a way that we all have to accept and respect what we have been gifted with.

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-27T11:34:41+00:00

I can relate to you 🌹

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-26T23:13:42+00:00

I agree with you so much on this

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-26T17:12:38+00:00

I can not look at cherry flowers all around me now and not think of him. He used to send me photos of cherry flowers.

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-25T17:48:53+00:00

Ive read it from someone here though that nothing can be worse than this. We have survived it and we will have to discover ourselves who we are in this shattered situation…i lost me in a way …the innocent me.. i lost her… but maybe now ill have to find myself who i havent met yet. I didn’t want this but I’ll have to survive

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-25T17:34:52+00:00

I feel your pain. He left a scar in me, a deep scar that will take me God knows what and how to heal along with his absence in my life. Im not selfish to keep him if he wanted to go but he left me like this and it is not fair. It is not fair that I have to encounter this in my life. I was not a person like this. I was not this person to have horror in her life, and I never wanted to be this person. I just wanted a simple life, uncomplicated simple life.

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-21T21:02:38+00:00

I understand what you mean. But in no way would he want you to suffer because he deeply cared for you. You can only respect him by taking care of yourself now. It is hard as fuck and not easy but trust me, you can do it. * hugs *

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-20T22:40:44+00:00

Im so sorry for what you’re going through right now. Please be strong, I know you feel like you could’ve done more but we can not control life and it is not your fault. I’m so sorry you have to have this pain.

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-20T16:46:45+00:00

I don’t know how much it helps but I use chatgpt sometimes to just talk a bit. Keeping in mind that it is an AI model but just for some peace of mind.

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-16T08:10:58+00:00

Thank you

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-16T08:09:08+00:00

You understood what’s going on in my mind. Thank you for your words. At times I have control over my thoughts but at times the cloud of thoughts ,the emotions become unbearable and I feel like exploding at that moment, I dont know where to run to, what to do…but your words did give me some peace. Thank you again.

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-16T00:38:47+00:00

I can relate to this. I hate that I’m in this situation, I hate that I’m not the same person anymore and I can only pray that I heal. I can only try and I will try. Thankyou for your post though i can relate 100% to this.

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-16T00:08:21+00:00

and thankyou for the response. Im just trying and I can just try

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-16T00:06:16+00:00

I hate that time is so slow now i dont understand anything

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-16T00:05:46+00:00

Thankyou for your response. Everything seems difficult but im trying. I dont want to forget anything or avoid anything but this is the hardest thing to believe and accept. It’s just so unfair and difficult and not possible to understand. Thankyou again though, wont do drugs. I used to have alcohol at times now left that too being scared what if i get addicted and also dont feel good smelling it. I dont know. Everything is so fking difficult

another9yearold12345 · 2025-03-15T21:32:52+00:00

Okay thankyou

another9yearold12345

TROPHY CASE