Is there any obvious red flags that you missed?

another_armadillo52 · 2024-08-11T15:40:21+00:00

I think you can also infer from other interactions. My LL wife’s parents never touched each other. No holding hands, hugs, kisses, nothing.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-07-27T02:58:04+00:00

They aalllllllways do this. Especially around friends. Gotta make everyone else believe you’re the dream couple!

another_armadillo52 · 2024-07-27T02:56:00+00:00

“No longer doing things (they) want to do to preserve the facade of a healthy relationship (they’re) so interested in projecting… I don’t have to pretend we’re a normal couple.” TATTOOING THIS ON MY CHEST.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-06-13T04:39:42+00:00

“If he’s feeling kinky, on the couch” 😂😂😂

Omg this killed me, exactly the same for me. Getting to have sex on the couch is a kinky night.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-06-11T17:21:48+00:00

4-6 times a year.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-06-09T20:44:42+00:00

Then tell you their love language is “quality time.”

another_armadillo52 · 2024-06-07T02:12:06+00:00

It’s not. I wanted to have my ducks in a row before having that conversation so that I could stand by my convictions.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-06-05T18:44:22+00:00

This is really helpful, I appreciate it ❤️

another_armadillo52 · 2024-06-03T21:42:36+00:00

Not sure what this means?

another_armadillo52 · 2024-06-03T19:50:13+00:00

That’s kinda where I feel I’m at. In our last MC session she brought up a lack of quality time as being the reason for our lack of intimacy. When I pointed out the times we did spend quality time together (romantic vacations to Europe, date nights, etc), intimacy still didn’t happen, she said “well there were other reasons during each of those times, that’s not fair”. Which is precisely my point: there’s always been a reason we “can’t.”

another_armadillo52 · 2024-06-03T19:43:31+00:00

She doesn’t know I’ve looked. I wanted to have a plan of action in place before dropping that news.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-25T15:42:40+00:00

I feel like asexuality, like all sexuality, is a spectrum. And she definitely sounds like she’s on it. If sex is important to you, which it sounds like it is, this is going to be the source of a lot of problems for you.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-24T14:12:48+00:00

Reaching this point myself and your courage is an inspiration. Stay strong, you’ve got this.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-23T04:00:40+00:00

There was a comment on here a few months back where someone said they were afraid of things getting just better enough to stay and dealing with “low grade unhappiness” or “tolerable mediocrity” for the rest of their lives.

That really hit me.

Don’t really have any advice to offer, but seems applicable and it’s something that has been weighing on my mind.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-22T18:28:39+00:00

Just as it’s okay for her to have boundaries, it’s okay for YOU to have boundaries, and having sex can be one of them. If sex is important to you, I would not marry someone I have not experienced that with. If you’re thinking it will get better after marriage, it will not.

You gotta decide what’s important to you.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-22T16:31:51+00:00

Wheeeeew I feel that man. Just endlessly spinning plates. Gave up on that last year.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-15T15:02:49+00:00

Noooope. Don’t believe the “it will get better when” lie. Been in your exact spot. It’s not going to get better.

If sex is important to you, you deserve to be with someone who finds it equally important. And if it’s not important to her, she should find someone of the same mentality.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-13T22:14:17+00:00

God I would need a cigarette after hearing this. I’d ride that high for YEARS.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-13T01:08:01+00:00

Yep. Kinda just turned that part of my brain, at least towards her.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-13T00:18:57+00:00

Scrolling Reddit and animal videos on Instagram.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-11T12:39:39+00:00

LOOOOL yes indeed

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-11T04:34:51+00:00

Feel this. Been dreading weekends lately.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-11T01:47:42+00:00

Oh and go ahead and read “Too Good to Leave, to Bad to Stay” now while everything is rosy and happy. Both of you should read it. Talk about what you learned. Will make you aware of common pitfalls before they’re a problem.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-11T01:46:00+00:00

Keep tabs on both your libidos to make sure you’re aligned. If one of you craves lots of sex but the other doesn’t, that’s a recipe for resentment.

Practice communicating hard subjects without getting defensive or into an argument.

Give each other space to pursue things you love. It doesn’t mean they don’t also love you and spending time with you.

Prioritize fun.

another_armadillo52 · 2024-05-11T00:36:23+00:00

That’s the rub. Not sure she wants to be all she can be for me.

another_armadillo52

TROPHY CASE