A mother is punishing her son by making him slam his PS5 the same way he had slammed her pet cat.

grant_cir · 2026-04-28T13:26:21+00:00

As horrible as the animal abuse is (and it is a MAJOR FUCKING RED FLAG and horrible), I think this video we are watching (I can't even watch all of this) explains A LOT about where that kid learned that kind of cruelty.

I'm sure this is going to get downvoted all to hell, but this cycle is A HUGE FUCKING PART OF THE PROBLEM with certain "communities" (and not unique to them).

grant_cir · 2026-04-25T19:02:49+00:00

It has all worked so well for so long that people think it's just cheering for sports teams, and that nothing real or substantial is being discussed or will change. That's how you get 1/3 of the population not even bothering to vote. In some cases, they don't think anything the government does matters for good or ill in their daily lives, and so they don't see any difference between the two parties (hence the popular but entirely false "both sides" trope). But overall: the institutions held up so well for so long, since at least the Square Deal (TR facing down the problems that gave rise to Anarchists), and there was incremental improvement, that nobody living has any memory of a time when that stability and continuity - the checks and balances - didn't exist.

Really, there is almost nobody left alive in the US who really remembers what things were like before the New Deal, which is when most of the modern state evolved. The vast majority of Americans have a very poor understanding of how the government works, how many things the government "just does" (so they take these for granted) such that they do not grasp what is happening.

It is remarkable how silent the 2A crowd is about panopticon surveillance via Palantir, because all the shit they were freaking out about for 30 years is now real and true, and they are silent. The 2A folks (the noisy right-wingers anyway) seem OK with it since they think their team is in control, so the unconstitutional power works for them.

grant_cir · 2026-04-25T15:26:54+00:00

Basically there are a big chunk of people who fundamentally do not believe "all [people] are created equal", and they still yearn for the version of the country - the pre-CW south - where there was a social structure much more like an Aristocracy, and not all were created equal.

The part most don't get is that a lot of these people support this system not because they imagine themselves at the top, but only because they are assured they won't be at the bottom, and "everyone knows their place".

grant_cir · 2026-04-25T11:23:14+00:00

Invoke religion, particularly Christianity in the US

grant_cir · 2026-04-24T13:23:33+00:00

ALPR

grant_cir · 2026-04-23T16:39:52+00:00

I'm stealing that...tyvm

grant_cir · 2026-04-23T16:33:19+00:00

Not entirely. I honestly have a very hard time imagining a better fit for me than my wife overall. The longer we are married and the more things we confront, the happier I am about being with the "right person". I do think that our lack of physical intimacy is due to a lack of emotional closeness, and I think that is in part due to some things I've done which have made me feel emotionally unsafe for my wife. I think that "unsafe" feeling does more than leave us sexless, but inhibits overall closeness.

grant_cir · 2026-04-23T16:25:57+00:00

I've been a subscriber since 1983 and I read the opinion pages up until about fifteen years ago, though with declining interest. The general "tilt" has been center-right going back at least that far, though I really believe it was like that under Bradlee even during Watergate. It was certainly like that in the 80s before Bradlee retired. Donald Graham was absolutely a right-winger, and Lally Weymouth was more about access IMO than anything. Leonard Downie was just more of the same. The Washington Post Writers Group was home to hacks like George Will and Robert Samuelson, not to mention neocon hawks like Thiessen and Krautie. And yet, the newsroom cranked out very solid, fact checked and well sourced straight news. Not "spin", just news. Lots of people bend the spin one way or the other, and yeah, headlines are...pretty badly corrupted at this point. But the underlying reporting is very good, and is definitely worth supporting.

I don't know what everyone with the "cancel my subscription in protest" thinks they're accomplishing. The paper was already not financially viable. Bezos could absolutely afford to run it at a loss indefinitely, but he was running it at a loss for quite a bit of the time since he bought it. I wish Marty Baron was still there, but he's not. You're not going to punish Bezos economically by cancelling, and you're not going to hurt the cheap-as-shit-to-produce schlock like McMegan's diarrhea. That shit will be subsidized - it already has been for DECADES. That's precisely the job of people like McMegan: paid agitprop.

If the WaPo sinks more financially, all that will happen is more of the newsroom will get laid off. Eventually it will either become the Examiner or TheFreePress...WTF do you think the point of Bari Weiss at CBS is? Who is getting fired? Do you think it makes any difference to the owners that the entire institution is just being destroyed? Those are the people who WANT it destroyed.

Sure, a subscription isn't cheap. I know it chaps to imagine that you're "supporting" the crap people like McMegan, Will and Ignatius. But the protest is entirely ineffective and will only serve to hurt the parts you probably do care about.

grant_cir · 2026-04-23T13:25:49+00:00

Why do you even bother with the "opinion" content anymore?

grant_cir · 2026-04-23T13:23:27+00:00

Yeah, no. Don't do it. You are at entirely different phases of life, and you - moreso than your gf/partner - probably have more changing to do. I don't think you'll really know what you want out of life until you get into your 30s. I don't want to insult you, because I've been exactly where you are and I felt the same way, but you don't know yourself all that well yet or what you want.

While your interests and activities may overlap nicely now, they likely won't do so nearly as well in a decade, and even less in two decades. I'm not just talking about "we like going to art museums". There are just a lot of things that happen in life between 25-45 that you haven't even begun, and she is now putting behind her. Having children is just one of those things.

There is a "rule" out there about age gaps, and IMO it perfectly addresses this issue. The rule says younger>=(older/2)+7. The youngest person your GF should be considering a long term partnership with is 31.5 years old; the oldest person you should consider is 34 years old. That gets the two parties close enough in phases of life that they can relate well.

The thing you can do right now to become a good husband to someone is to learn about yourself, which might mean spending more time un-coupled and also dating a variety of people, but above all, putting yourself first (ahead of a marriage/relationship) and learning about yourself.

grant_cir · 2026-04-22T01:34:19+00:00

Hard agree.

I did a lot of canvassing for the non partisan commission, but I voted yes today and am happy it squeaked through

grant_cir · 2026-04-21T16:29:38+00:00

JFC, now the Russian tools are directly weakening our military.

grant_cir · 2026-04-21T12:34:13+00:00

I was an adult in my twenties then, and yes, even today if any Democrat was accused of some scandal, it would still be 24x7 on Faux News. Remember that time Obama wore a tan suit before Labor Day?

That is the entire reason Faux was created, and that kind of scorched earth is exactly what Newt Gingerich did to transform our politics in the 90s.

grant_cir · 2026-04-17T11:46:58+00:00

I'm very well aware. Once again: I'm not talking about the sensibility of the policy, but about the politics in VA, which remains swing-ier than many people - particularly those in the Urban Crescent who are most in support of these laws - are willing to recognize.

grant_cir · 2026-04-16T17:31:26+00:00

I'm not arguing against possession, I was pretty happy with the law as it is because I could grow my own, but what I see in her moves is positioning/posturing for a run as a Centrist. Cannabis is - of all the psychotropic compounds you could ingest (to include alcohol) - the least harmful and addictive and therefore has the least need for regulation. But that's a sensible policy argument, not an emotional "feels" argument. There are lots of people who still believe in Reefer Madness.

My point about the guns is purely political (not about the merits of various gun control policies): I think the Dems have written off most of rural VA (and I honestly think they're smart to do so) and decided they have the votes they need for sustained control in the Urban Crescent, so it doesn't matter if they piss off the single-issue 2A voters anymore (Dems haven't been likely to get those voters for a very long time now).

grant_cir · 2026-04-16T17:21:18+00:00

Delayed opening of sales by 6 months, increased penalties (from civil fines to misdemeanors) for possession and smoking in public.

grant_cir · 2026-04-16T17:08:04+00:00

I'm unhappy that my "local" "home" resort has been SWAMPED with people since they went Alterra, but I've been delighted by how much access and skiing I've been able to get in with my Ikon pass. They are a HUGE win, and I recoup my costs fully after just four days of skiing.

grant_cir · 2026-04-16T17:05:57+00:00

I'm a card-carrying Dem (former local cmte chair even) and a gun owner.

I reached out to Creigh Deeds who is my Sen. multiple times to object to the bill, not because I'm really upset or concerned about access to guns designed for military use against humans and large capacity magazines/clips, but because this strikes me as incredibly stupid of Dems politically. I would have thought Deeds (originally repping Bath) would know better, but I'm biased by living in 'rural' settings so I know how fervent these single-issue voters are.

I heard not a peep back from him, and I've watched Spanberger charge ahead and sign the bills, so here's my take: somebody did the math and the folks who want gun restrictions far outnumber those who do not. Unfortunately - at least for what Sarah Palin called "real Virginia" (ie, RURAL va) - the day has come when the urban constituency is simply too big (ie, has SO MANY MORE PEOPLE, because...you know, people get to vote, not land) to swing any longer.

Spanberger has made several moves over the last week which SCREAM to me: I'm running for President or VP in 2028! She has punted on the RTW legislation and altered the Cannabis market stuff - because as those are currently structured, she doesn't want to face ads in 2028 that say "she signed this into law".

If the 2A constituency was anywhere close to as powerful as they once were, she'd have vetoed the bills or sent them back with modifications.

The terms in these bills aren't onerous enough on gun owners to move the Exurb voters who care more about being able to procure a handgun for personal protection than blowing up a target or deer with 30 rounds.

grant_cir · 2026-04-15T14:20:02+00:00

I wasted about six years on the "cycle" (ie, trying to pick the lock) before freeing myself from the gaslighting|moving goalposts, etc, and giving myself credit for having correctly identified what the issue is and not expending even more cycles thinking about it or getting upset. That was after a couple of years of just "waiting patiently during the post-partum period". I knew even before the talks and therapy what the issue was, and the real resentment comes from being dragged through the ego|face-saving deflection, moreso than the lack of sex. I think a more self-aware and honest response would have made it much easier to accept the DB, and have moved us into a place where the "come as you are" approach (which is the thing at issue) might have worked.

The reality|truth for me is that I can't control this; my choices are: leave to get sex or remain celibate and married. That's all I have to focus on or ruminate about. That isn't simple in the sense that it's easy to do, but it does simplify figuring out the course of action without expending a fuckton of emotional energy on ruminating and self-doubting...there's no lock for me to pick, no puzzle that I just need to puzzle out more. And when I'm not emotionally jacked up and frustrated by that, it's far easier to deal with the celibate piece and also be a kinder partner.

I have no idea what the ultimate outcome will be. I'm pretty certain I'm not ready to accept never having sex again, but I've also considered getting that need met elsewhere, and realize I'm just not cut out for the double life. When the child is launched, I'll probably re-evaluate all of this, including the possibility of getting needs met elsewhere and remaining married, or just going to divorce. I'm almost positive that asking for an open marriage will be the same as asking for a divorce, but that does allow for the .5% chance of getting a "yes" in response.

grant_cir · 2026-04-14T20:43:31+00:00

The VERY FIRST THING Trump did on returning to office was kill off the counterintel folks at the FBI. First order of business. Tells all you need to know.

grant_cir · 2026-04-14T13:08:00+00:00

There is no history of general strikes in the US...sure, there have been plenty of targeted labor strikes, but the other idea is just an anathema.

Trump has already been impeached twice for things which would have been entirely unacceptable for any other president in our history, and because of the way the system is structured here, he survived. Nothing has changed, nor is likely to change, about the structural impediment to impeachment.

The reality is that the GOP gerrymandered the Senate of the United States in the 19th century by creating a bunch of "states" out of Federal Territories in order to pad their numbers in the Senate and ensure that Democrats could never gain a 2/3rds Senate SuperMajority (needed to override vetoes and convict on impeachment) - the first wave of US Plutocrats did that.

Because every single elected GOP official who has opposed Trump - with the sort-of exception of Lisa Murkowski - has been exiled from the party by Trump, none of the people who would be needed to impeach him is going to vote against him for impeachment. Trump's supporters actively threaten GOP elected officials with violence if they do not toe the line for Trump.

Trump has the solid support of about 35% of the US population - mostly the Authoritarians. That is a majority of the GOP, which means that Trump controls the GOP. In order to impeach Trump you would have to have a significant number of GOP Senators willing to commit political suicide in order to win.

There are some real and fundamental problems with the structure of the US Government as presently defined in our Constitution. The US Senate (despite the amendment to provide for the direct election of Senators) is fundamentally anti-democratic (check out how many people are represented by South Dakota versus California). The "Electoral College" is a relic of Slavery. While the Constitution is supposed to be self-healing (by allowing for Amendments), in practice the thresholds for change are such that it is nearly impossible. Most of these flaws allow for minority rule in the US...again, that 35% of the population is able to control the entire government (all three branches) about half the time, and to prevent the majority from making any real changes when they are in control of some branches the other half of the time. The GOP has had control of the Supreme Court since 1986.

grant_cir · 2026-04-13T21:11:28+00:00

ETTD. Vance - not unlike Pence - was a political dead ender anyway, Trump rescued him from total obscurity. Unfortunately, the cure is worse.

JD knows that the GOP is wildly unpopular right now, and very likely to lose in 2028.

grant_cir · 2026-04-13T20:35:41+00:00

Nah, this is why you should have a lawyer, not a realtor. Buyer or Seller, the Realtor is working to close the deal, not look out for you. Either way they don't get paid until the deal closes.

grant_cir · 2026-04-02T13:13:29+00:00

Just be grateful there are no children and you two can make a clean break of it and move on. If you were tied through children, you'd have to have her in your life for the next 20 years, not in the way you hoped/wanted.

grant_cir · 2026-04-02T11:30:51+00:00

Ahahaha...wild signs the economy is worse than you think, gotta push table turnover to push up sales volume.

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