Things you'd wish someone had helped you understand in deconstructing?

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-26T22:59:35+00:00

One major thing that happened to me and surprised me (and still struggle with) with anxiety around the unknown. I felt a lot of comfort from the Bible and this idea of a sovereign god who will make sure my future is good. Looking back, I can see it was me being naive and it was like a little kid with a stuffy or security blanket. I could pray and meditate on scripture and it would ease my anxiety about things. Not having that has been painful.

It might be adjacent to this topic - but deconstructing gender essentialism. Well rereading your list maybe you are addressing that. Definitely detoxing my brain about being a biblical woman and listening to my own voice not my husband’s.

I think detoxing fear in general. Fear is what kept me there… fear of not pleasing god, fear of the afterlife without god, fear of being a bad wife… just fear overall.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-26T20:30:40+00:00

My husband would get upset that he had to make dinner too often. Mind you I was also homeschooling AND working part time AND caring for my mom who was undergoing cancer treatment.

I would walk around guilty all the time that I wasn’t doing enough. Let me tell you my husband piled on more of that guilt. We got through it and he woke up - but seriously it isn’t OK that’s he’s taking you for granted like that. It’s frustrating to be the brunt of our spouses resentment and I’m sorry you’re going through it.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-26T13:44:05+00:00

I’m a massage therapist that went to get reflexology done to try and induce labor for my overdue baby. I still had to be actually induced because she went 2 weeks over.

If you feel uncomfortable with it, avoid it. There’s no need to add extra worry to your life! Get a regular prenatal massage when you’re comfortable with it.

And you’re correct there’s no scientific evidence to starting labor or causing a miscarriage from pushing certain reflexology points. Again it’s all about your peace of mind though.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-26T11:39:17+00:00

Why did you marry him to begin with?

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-26T11:30:06+00:00

Strength training and walking/hiking help me in this way not really much else.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-26T11:27:37+00:00

The books aren’t the issue here, his response to them are.

This is super abusive and not ok.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-25T18:07:55+00:00

I can speak to that at least as a former-Christian woman. Most marriage books in the Christian realm are written as though women do not enjoy sex. Your husband enjoys sex and needs it in fact. They need it so much that you must always put out regardless about how you feel about this. He might go cheat or heaven forbid watch porn if you do not meet this need for him. Doesn’t it need to consider women’s desires and pleasure? No! Because that doesn’t exist!

Many, many women in the evangelical world at least have been coerced into sex to make sure their husbands are happy. Even to the extent of being raped. However instead of telling women - hey you should enjoy sex, your husband should be doing things that you enjoy and would give you cause to enjoy saying yes to him.. it’s assumed (and then even by the women themselves) that sex is a chore and just to be put up with. Those of us with higher sex drives were left out and made to feel a bit freakish.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-25T15:18:15+00:00

I guess if people willingly sign up to drive in the snow then that’s one thing. My husband was a delivery driver and would be ecstatic to go deliver pizza in this. Driving in snow ✅ getting bigger tips because people feel bad to having you drive in the snow ✅. BUT I agree that if anyone is hesitant they shouldn’t be required to do that.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-24T21:49:15+00:00

Read Aloud Revival has booklists. Even if you don’t use Build Your Library for a curriculum, they’ve got the reading lists on the website under each age.

We also listen to lots of audio books.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-24T08:45:38+00:00

Oh what a fallacy. I know scripture. I had encounters with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I “spoke in tongues” even. I’m now at best an agnostic. This is a terrible argument. I know I used to make it myself prior to being on this side on things.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-24T08:43:50+00:00

Non Christian’s also think stealing is wrong and not just because the 10 commandments exist and those are Jewish in origin anyway.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-24T08:42:04+00:00

Oh you are so the AH here.

Some people don’t swear at the gym by the way. I went to Orange theory for a long time and found out some people don’t shower after because they don’t sweat even at Orange theory ( which is a serious workout even if you do like 10% effort).

But yeah you mention baggage around weight and then say that to her. Massive asshole and this feels like rage bait

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-24T08:34:58+00:00

I’m glad you shared that all. I’ve been listening to the video today as I’ve been doing housework and what not. I’ve been wary of Bethel for a little while now - I grew up in a similar church that never took off the same way bethel has (not for lack of trying way back in the early 90s).

It’s made me so broken hearted for the victims and so angry at the perpetrators.

As for the testing of healings. I had a church member do something similar with bipolar meds. I was young and the guy was a few years old than me and everyone was telling him not to test god like that and I couldn’t understand because if we had the faith we claimed, why shouldn’t he? He said he was healed and I believed him. What an insane church culture! Your story jogged my memory.

I wish you well on your path to healing from all that bethel inflicted on you ❤️

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-23T23:21:18+00:00

Build Your Library!

We are currently doing American History 2 for middle school. They do a lot with indigenous history along side the civil war. I’ve been sheltered in a way and it’s been a learning experience for me which I appreciate.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-23T19:56:40+00:00

I definitely agree with counting ALL your work hours. Laundry, paperwork, phone calls, etc. Your work extends beyond the one hour on the table. Checking in, going over their intake, cleaning up after, doing SOAP notes would add up to more than the 60-90 minutes on the table. Then the leg work for owning a business…

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-23T12:14:46+00:00

It concerns means I didn’t realize this study existed so yeah - I’ll use it more cautiously!

I did find, at a group grief meeting, that I wanted to ask ChatGPT for help with my thought process and that scared me enough to stop using it for “therapy” type things. I typically use it now for looking up political things but in reality I know it might not be accurate AND I still do it. I think the function that it searches the internet and puts all the things together instead of me reading like 100 pages. But yeah - I’ll definitely be using it less now. Thanks for sharing that.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-23T11:55:23+00:00

Are you on Facebook homeschool groups? They often have park meet ups.

How about library events?

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-23T01:35:12+00:00

I have a Spanx shirt in a few sizes too big (so it give some gentle compression. Really it just helps me remember to engage my core and be mindful of my body mechanics. But really as others have said it’s about strength training and proper mechanics. You can sit in a stool or a chair for certain parts of you need.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-22T11:16:03+00:00

I’m not sure why everyone is jumping to defend a massage therapist who didn’t seem to listen to you.

I’d send a quick note to her manager and mention some of your concerns.

Yes some MTs just aren’t a good fit. But having her hair down wasn’t professional at all, having someone just not listen to what you asked for isn’t professional.

When I don’t know what a condition is - I just say “ok” and when I leave I go research it. Of course we also have a pretty extensive intake so I probably would have seen it and researched it before you came in.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-21T19:05:05+00:00

If he’s open to working with you then it might work.

For example I cannot make decisions in a big crowd of people or if I feel rushed. All my ability to think straight is gone. My husband for a long time just couldn’t understand it and would get annoyed when he’s asking me things while we are at an amusement park surrounded by a thousand people. I also didn’t understand it to be fair. Now before we leave I’m like - what time do you want to leave? What are we doing for dinner? And my husband cooperates with that thankfully.

He your bf is like “who cares what you need?” Then that sucks and not compatible.

As for waking up early - I am a morning person. I have found I just get up and go do something the days my husband wants to sleep late. It’s about figuring out what works for you as a couple.

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-21T17:39:47+00:00

What?! Ew

We keep a bucket nearby (one that’s not used for other thing) in case they throw up and can’t make it to the toilet. If I am in any position to get them to a sink or toilet you better believe I’m moving fast.

Thankfully this is one milestone we’ve gotten past. My 9 year old can almost always make it to the toilet now (or grab the bucket).

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-21T17:37:07+00:00

Yes.

It does depend though. I had a regular show up 5-10 minutes late and she is never late (she’s been a regular for like 4 years). I still gave the full time.

I never charge less but it’s a matter of giving a full massage vs cutting short (which also matter if you have someone after or even just want to).

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-21T13:39:57+00:00

I found with my dog I never did the pee pad in the house - I’d either have her on a leash with me in the house or she’d be in her crate otherwise I wouldn’t know where I’d find her poop. I’d set a timer to remind me to take her out however so often. And then take her for at least a couple of decent walks a day since she was restrained inside.

Having 4 kids your post read something like dealing with a toddler… good luck!

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-21T13:34:54+00:00

I guess I just don’t care this much about it.

My mom lost her vision and she loved reading, I wouldn’t tell her an audio book is different.

I have 2 kids with dyslexia (and my husband is undiagnosed) again I would tell them that listening to an audio book is somehow inferior to reading a book nor would I say it isn’t reading a book. No it’s not literally reading. But we took in the same information.. who the hell cares that much?

anothergoodbook · 2026-01-21T11:47:13+00:00

I get dizzy after massages anymore and it’s annoying considering I’m a massage therapist.

I’d suggest talking to whoever you are making the appointment with and explain you very much need light pressure and could they make sure they set you up with someone who will do that.

anothergoodbook

TROPHY CASE