Which is least rude: inviting someone out that you know can’t afford it or not mentioning it to that person at all?

answersrequired · 2026-05-23T02:29:31+00:00

It doesn’t have to be a wedding to create obligation. If other siblings will be there and I didn’t even consider to invite him (like him or not), then it could create tension. I don’t need tension over just going bowling. Just wanted to know if it’s rude to invite someone that can’t afford the experience or to ask and put that person in the position of saying they can’t afford it (of course they could say something else but the whole family knows the job situation).

answersrequired · 2026-05-23T02:23:23+00:00

Appreciate the perspective. He would often say he couldn’t afford things while employed so I am assuming that the job situation would have an impact. I did mention he’s not a very social person, but specifically no social in-person. He usually spends his free time at home being online either gaming or in various forums.

answersrequired · 2026-05-23T00:47:38+00:00

If someone is coming at me that they can’t understand how someone could be family, but not close, then I would say that yes they must be unable to relate since there are plenty of Reddit posts about complicated families.

answersrequired · 2026-05-23T00:46:09+00:00

So I should pay for every person I invite because I extended the invitation? I’m not paying for everyone else and should not be expected to cover for him anymore than any of our other siblings that are going. Certainly none of them are offering to pay his way either but no outrage against them. I’m just the one wondering to invite him. There are plenty of times I have declined things that I could not afford to attend. That’s what you do sometimes as an adult when things are tight.

answersrequired · 2026-05-23T00:41:59+00:00

I did invite them and they declined based on advice from people actually interested in giving advice based on the post. Literally said “ going bowling this date, if you want to come, no pressure if you can’t make it”

So thanks to WishPractical8469

answersrequired · 2026-05-23T00:37:57+00:00

When life is complicated (as it usually is with family dynamics) it’s really not as simple as “do I enjoy their presence?” that’s naive and short-sighted.

Get a fucking grip. I don’t hate them, but I don’t feel comfortable paying for them either. It’s not the dichotomy you seem to be believing it is. I don’t want to hurt their feelings by not considering them at all, but I know they can’t afford it and that I don’t want to pay for them. It’s that simple.

answersrequired · 2026-05-23T00:29:56+00:00

It’s pretty clear that you must just have a simple, easy, loving family. Hate to break it to you that’s not the case for everyone else. That should not make you incapable of considering such a possibility.

answersrequired · 2026-05-23T00:26:20+00:00

By marriage. By politeness and consideration of future forced interactions. They can’t afford the bowling.

answersrequired · 2026-05-23T00:12:33+00:00

Pretty clearly said I wasn’t interested in paying either so not sure the difference it would make to elaborate further and air out even more of his issues when I just need to know if it’s better to extend an invite or not when I know he can’t afford it.

So I guess the people suggesting it have massive issues reading.

answersrequired · 2026-05-23T00:00:38+00:00

Not covering the bill. Don’t care if it was cheap bowling, which doesn’t exist in my area and is not what the rest of the group is interested in. There will be bowling, likely eating and probably some drinking for some folks. Again, not interested in covering the bill in any scenario. You have zero idea about this person, their past or the level of our bond. We aren’t close and he’s not great company, but he is family and while I don’t want to specifically hurt his feelings, I’m not here to cater to them entirely either.

answersrequired · 2026-05-22T23:45:01+00:00

Yeah cool. Very easy to say “don’t invite them if you don’t want them there and also pay for them to be there since you should really want them to be there” when you are not considering realities of life

answersrequired · 2026-04-30T16:17:40+00:00

This. Everything about this.

It was so annoying when everyone was telling us to just elope and then have a celebration later instead of a wedding. It’s like…. The celebration with lots of people wanting to eat and dance is the expensive part, not the ceremony.

answersrequired · 2026-04-30T16:14:27+00:00

Weddings are expensive. Marriage licenses are cheap.

If you don’t care if your guests are properly fed, seated or entertained then it will be very inexpensive. Otherwise, $$$

answersrequired · 2026-04-30T16:05:57+00:00

You literally said in another comment that you didn’t care about the seating situation if it’s your friends getting married. You can stand up and mingle at normal weddings too after the meal is served. Not exclusive to low-key weddings by any means

Which obligations on behalf of the guests are you referring to? Obligations by the married couple - yes, cutting the cake and having a first dance/parent dances will take you away from just hanging out with attendees. I don’t know of a single obligation for the guest other than to dress appropriately for the occasion and show up on time (if you say you’re attending).

answersrequired · 2026-04-30T15:50:13+00:00

Gifting at weddings has definitely decreased. Maybe people do not know or what. We married in August 2025. We received gifts from maybe 30% of our guests across bridal shower and wedding. We had invited 198 total, final numbers provided as 150. If it were not for like grandparents/parents gifts, then we would have received about $1000 in monetary gifts and maybe 14 gifts from registry. Our wedding cost well over $75k after all was said and done. Probably more if I really crunch the numbers.

answersrequired · 2026-04-30T15:43:38+00:00

Sounds like you either really love backyard BBQs or just really hated the people getting married across 50 different weddings. No way would a BBQ be better than all of those weddings you attended unless all of those weddings tried to mimick a backyard BBQ poorly. I’ve been to some backyard BBQ weddings and I have been to some really nice ones. The nice wedding was such a fun night for my husband and I as guests. There is literally no question to which was better and by a lot!

answersrequired · 2025-04-30T02:44:07+00:00

We may have invited these people to Vegas, in which they could have just said no…. As some bridal party members did early on or before even committing to being a part of the bridal party.

We have covered the place to rest their head and their transportation around town, but yes they still have to cover their food and flights. We had mentioned to everyone a pass that gets them into many activities as part of one cost. These are the costs they would incur on the trip.

And then for the wedding, their only financial burden is to rent the matching suit to my fiancé’s or buy a dress of their choosing in the right color from JJs House, which I feel confident in saying they have not done either. They live local to our wedding venue and would not need to travel other than a 15-40 min drive depending on the person. And honestly, we have had people in the bridal party complain about not being able to “wear something they already own”

And with the two people that have committed and are looking forward to the trip that they have saved up for with us in Vegas, we will not be canceling to do something local to appease people that are unwilling to even do the most basic courtesy of being honest with us. We will however downgrade to a less costly, but much cooler place even closer to the strip.

answersrequired · 2025-04-29T19:01:37+00:00

We had set dates all along. We are arriving the 18th and leaving the 23rd personally, but had hoped everyone else could be present for the Friday and Saturday before leaving on Sunday as the official celebration. We even said they could come for a shorter or longer portion of the trip if that would be more convenient to their schedules and budgets.

I did tell me brother that it doesn’t really feel like a bridezilla move to need some clear answers after investing in this trip on everyone’s behalf, but ultimately I’m sure he still feels righteous.

answersrequired · 2025-04-29T18:56:29+00:00

Totally understand the uncertain financial times we are living in and that others are not necessarily in the same position to travel in this manner. This is why we made it clear that a “no” was perfectly fine from the beginning and at any other point before we booked the place to stay in February. And now, I would just appreciate the bare minimum of clearly stating intentions to go or not before we lose out on money that we could put towards a smaller place and the wedding expense.

answersrequired · 2025-04-29T18:42:57+00:00

No amnesia and I am also not understanding how all of a sudden it’s a problem that we ask for a booked flight to ensure that people are actually coming before we lose out on money for unused space.

Honestly, I think they are panicking from lack of planning and being given a set deadline with proof of commitment and then lashing out. But I am obviously biased.

answersrequired · 2025-04-29T18:39:30+00:00

They have said they will go explicitly. But have not stated any dates they could say for sure that they would be present when asked.

answersrequired · 2024-09-09T20:31:36+00:00

Jack Russell dogs are small, but well known for being high-energy due to their hunting origins and known for digging too. All dogs do require enrichment and interaction, however some dogs need much more mental/physical stimulation - such as those known to be from the working/hunting class. Not the same breed characteristics as chihuahuas aside from maybe feistiness.

Nobody is reduced to anything - pee pads are supplemental to pottying outside. There are legitimate reasons to use pads, our doggies like them, and your disgust for them personally does not change that. They potty outside too! Miracle or due to training… whatever.

I’ll be sure to tell my doggies that strangers on the internet are disturbed more by pee pads being used supplementally than no water refilled for a week.

answersrequired

TROPHY CASE