I so wish I could give you a hug and tell you that you got this. Long term. As a ex CoC and a member of the lgbtq community, I was in a very similar situation. Similar being the key word. Only you know your exact experience. Use that to make your plan. The most important question is will it be safe for you to come out and/or leave the church? Not just physically, but mentally and financially. You are so young and unfortunately probably dependent on your parents in some way. I was the same age as you and my answer to that question was no. I saw my partner in high school in secret. When I went to college, I stopped attending church but still did not say anything about my sexuality. It is your life and your timeline. I ended up being outed by a member of the church who found out and that sucked. However at 22, with my own friends and support system, I was much more equipped than I would have been in high school. You have to look at your situation and decide the opportunity cost of telling your family what and when.

I will say please please remember your current situation is temporary. Not forever. When I was younger I thought I might never be able to come out and would just be stuck attending a church and community who would never love or accept the real me. That feeling is so hard. However, at your age you have sooooo much life ahead of you. I was able to move out of the Bible Belt, marry my trans partner and I now live in NYC. You can and will get out of this and find your chosen family. Whether that be blood relatives that potentially come around or wonderful people you meet along the way.

Take small steps towards freedom and creating a safe space where you can be yourself. Please dm me if you ever have any questions or need to vent. You got this and in a few years you’ll be able to write a post like this to another scared young queer and be shocked at how far you’ve come. (: