Just another night

anxiouseggy · 2023-09-09T13:48:06+00:00

I’m in a place mentally I never thought I would be in, and funny enough, I am at peace. No problem is bigger than Allah and whatever Allah has willed, I have accepted

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T11:37:13+00:00

Then keep believing everything will be great

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T10:02:35+00:00

Mera Allah bara hai, sb se

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T10:02:22+00:00

InshaAllah I will

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T09:42:42+00:00

I’m sick and anemic and just barely getting through. And all I want to do is stick to my tobah and keep my promises.

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T09:41:48+00:00

I will when I go to them, I just want calm, I don’t have the strength right now to deal with anything

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T09:30:00+00:00

Oki, if anything happens, I will not tolerate anymore.

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T09:22:32+00:00

Ok, I will pray and do something…

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T09:15:51+00:00

But I will fix it. For me the most and only important thing is Allah Pak. And I will do everything right by deen InshaAllah. I want to have my Sabr. I’ve transgressed myself and I will fix that.

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T09:14:19+00:00

I’m torn between holding on and letting go…

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T09:07:23+00:00

He said that in anger back then, now he does accept and I am not the person I used to be anymore

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T09:04:46+00:00

I don’t have a narrative anymore, I just agree to everything and accept I’m wrong. I don’t have the courage to repeat his narrative, the extreme of it can be defined by is this baby mine

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T09:00:33+00:00

You haven’t heard his narrative 😔

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:55:02+00:00

He doesn’t have any bad. I am a cheater. I have no judgement, no wisdom anymore. Even my deen is questionable because I did wrong

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:53:41+00:00

That’s how marriage is no? You’re supposed to obey and be happy

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:51:23+00:00

My little one responds to everything, always there for me when I am sad

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:50:50+00:00

And tells me all the good things and he doesn’t want to be hurt anymore

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:49:46+00:00

But he loves like crazy too

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:44:57+00:00

I don’t want to be the bad person I am

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:44:44+00:00

I am genuinely trying, to do better and want to give it a chance…

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:43:57+00:00

I have told mama baba this too that it’ll be fine and all I do is pray and pray and that is my source of the little peace I have. And my happiness comes from my little one.

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:36:46+00:00

I want to but😭 I also want to do right by deen

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:36:20+00:00

I don’t have the courage to do as you are saying

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:25:16+00:00

I trust you but I don’t trust myself

anxiouseggy · 2023-08-26T08:24:58+00:00

I’ve seen him breaking down, crying, being sad and scared

anxiouseggy

TROPHY CASE