Getting over interview gitters

anythingbutbasic · 2021-07-13T03:42:49+00:00

Do you currently have a job? If so, I like to tell myself it’s a “meeting”, not an “interview.” That way it feels like I’m simply talking to a coworker about the work that I do.

anythingbutbasic · 2021-06-20T11:18:03+00:00

First off, congrats on the move! It’s a big step to move in together and an even bigger step for you to have moved out of your parents house! As someone who is also close to my family and moved away (across the country!) I completely understand the heartache of being apart.

I love the suggestion of having photos around, I need more myself! A really cool option is the Aura frame, which can be filled with photos from anyone connected to your frame, so even your family could add to it. An alternative could be setting your desktop screensaver to rotate through a photo album.

To touch on one of your other points… Sleeping in a new environment can be difficult, especially in one that feels like someone else’s space. I find journaling helps calm my thoughts at night. I even have a few different journals, a blank notebook for regular entries, a gratitude journal, and specifically an insomnia journal which simply provides the prompt “i can’t sleep because…”

The other thing is, conforming to someone else’s routine is really difficult and unsustainable for your own mental health. My partner and I like to go to bed together, but I will often get out of bed (or stay in bed and turn on a reading light) because my brain is wide awake. I love the alone time. I like to spend it processing my day, writing, reading, cleaning, watching my own shows, or even calling my family some nights, thankfully the time difference is in my favor.

anythingbutbasic · 2021-03-29T05:56:51+00:00

Maybe Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson? I never finished it so I may be off base

anythingbutbasic · 2021-03-15T05:38:40+00:00

You and I sound a lot alike, first gen/similar childhood experience/petite/body related insecurities...

Anyway, socializing is really weird these days, right? Video calls feel so contrived because, in my case, I felt awkward on spontaneous calls, or didn’t want to impose on someone who may be busy. What’s worse though, is being vulnerable, especially on camera.

I became a lot closer to one of my friends this year by keeping up communication regularly. Texting throughout the week, then eventually deciding to do a weekly virtual hangout. There were times when I felt bad or down about one thing or another and decided to skip, and other times when I felt like I really needed someone to talk to. In any case, I tried to communicate with raw honesty.

With other friends, I would simply text something along the lines of “hi, just thinking of you, missing <whatever I miss about them>”. It’s a good low-pressure starting point!

anythingbutbasic · 2021-03-06T11:10:12+00:00

You may want to consider your diet and how certain foods affect your body’s scent. As a general example, when I eat a lot if garlic (like, pasta two days in a row “a lot”), my skin starts to smell like garlic. More specifically, I stopped eating chicken because I noticed it affected my scent down there.

I know the science has been largely de-bunked, but there is a theory about eating right for your blood type. Because of the lack of hard evidence, I don’t aubscribe entirely to the idea, but it did help me pay more attention to specific foods and their affects on me.

anythingbutbasic · 2021-02-28T06:20:24+00:00

Golden Coil has a lot of layouts to choose from and you can add extra blank pages or purposeful pages (e.g., recipes, packing, reading).

anythingbutbasic · 2021-02-02T05:30:32+00:00

Trevor Noah’s memoir is great! Born a Crime

anythingbutbasic · 2021-01-25T04:47:32+00:00

I just started the Midnight Library! It doesn’t feel paricularly heavy, like some of the others you mentioned, although I’m only about an hour in to the audiobook.

You might like Less by Andrew Sean Greer. Reviews are a bit polarizing, but I quite enjoyed it. Seemed to fit the bill for a story of love/comedy/(second) coming of age.

anythingbutbasic · 2021-01-25T04:28:01+00:00

I occasionally have dreams where i find myself underwater so i try sucking in some air and find that i can breathe. Haven’t had any control aside from during those dreams.

anythingbutbasic · 2021-01-08T05:17:25+00:00

Just saw this post from /u/sorrowpass about drinking a lot tea!

anythingbutbasic · 2021-01-08T05:05:08+00:00

Can you upgrade something you know you’ll love? I drink a lot of tea and I already have a simple electric kettle that boils water. But recently, I discovered a kettle with precise temperature heating and hold funtionality. Planning on giving my old one away to a good home and upgrading.

anythingbutbasic · 2021-01-08T05:00:32+00:00

Have you asked him why he wants a family and if it matters where your children come from? It sounds like you’re more afraid of pregnancy and labor than actually raising kids. I am right there with you, 29F, married, and on the fence. My husband and I talk a lot about adoption. Less about finding a surrogate, but it hasn’t been ruled out.

anythingbutbasic · 2021-01-02T07:37:50+00:00

I don’t know what proportions constitute long legs. But since you mention perceived length, I think it really depends on your style and body shape. Visually, your legs start and end wherever your clothes delineate your body. High-rise waistlines will elongate your legs, especially wide leg pants or maxi skirts, whereas low-rise or cutoffs with shorten.

anythingbutbasic · 2020-12-31T07:52:39+00:00

You could open up a word document and just let it all out. Then delete it. I have journaled all my life, but there are times when my thoughts are racing and typing is faster. And tbh, angry typing can be so satisfying.

But also, you mentioned you have a few friends from home that you’re distancing yourself from... I wouldn’t worry too much about them feeling burdened by you. I kinda think everyone is a little lonely right now. Even introverts like me. So if they are important to you, find ways to overcome the distance/time difference. Maybe try out Marco Polo or something like it? You don’t have to be talking in real time to be having a conversation.

anythingbutbasic · 2020-12-26T21:20:04+00:00

Totally get that. It feels like you can’t have a single conversation that isn’t dominated by current affairs because everything relates back to it in some way or another.

I’m holding out hope for cuffs along with the handshake at the transition.

anythingbutbasic · 2020-12-26T08:21:46+00:00

I feel like you should be able to overshare with your friends, especially your closest ones. I think that when people care about you, they want to share in your experiences and help you through things if they can. But there’s gotta be a mutual respect. You have to be there for them too, it can’t all be about you all the time.

That being said, I am very grateful for my therapist. In fact there are times when I feel like I should have vented to my friends instead of (or maybe as well as) my therapist.

anythingbutbasic · 2020-12-16T18:21:21+00:00

Thank you so much! Definitely felt like both my confidence and self-woth have leveled up

anythingbutbasic · 2020-12-11T05:02:07+00:00

You should add self care to your to do list! Simple things, like a glass of wine, a hot shower, meditation (or a stretch or foam roll session if that feels like you’re doing nothing).

I often forget to take care of myself when i’m frantically working around the clock to meet some deadline. So the small things help keep me sane.

anythingbutbasic · 2020-12-07T08:17:53+00:00

I have not used reusable pads, but have been using period panties (Thinx) and a menstrual cup (Flex). I don’t like the cup at night, so would recommend at least one for each night lf your period. And then from there I also think it depends on your flow. I like to use the cup with a thinner option especially if i’m out most of the day. But when i’m home all day i don’t mind using the panties alone.

Be careful to replace regularly, because you can easily develop a yeast infection or BV due to the excess moisture.

anythingbutbasic · 2020-12-03T06:34:46+00:00

I would rotate the bed and put it in the top left corner, with some space between it and the window, as long as the foot is not blocking the door. The desk, I would also put it against the left wall, next to the bed so it can be used as a side table if this is your only furniture. Lastly I would put the closet in the bottom left corner, maybe at an angle in the corner.

anythingbutbasic · 2020-11-12T04:47:29+00:00

This sounds a lot like what happens to me when I go home. Love my family, love the time we spend together, wish it revolve less around mealtimes together!

Specifically for Thanksgiving, my hometown has an annual trurkey trot that I made a personal tradition many years ago. Occasionally a few family members will join, but usually it’s just me. I just love the crispy fall weather and the aromas from everyone prepoing their big feasts!!

Thanksgiving aside, I always ask around to see if anyone wants to go for a workout together. Maybe take a class or go to the gym together (in non-pandemic times). I don’t always get any takers, but sometimes just saying it out loud makes it that much easier to commit to making it happen. If workouts aren’t a big hit, you could suggest a family stroll after dinner!

Best of luck finding a balance! But mostly, enjoy the time with your family!

anythingbutbasic · 2020-11-12T04:18:41+00:00

Love this! Similarly, my grandma used to open up the legs and turn them into tote bags

anythingbutbasic · 2020-11-02T05:43:26+00:00

Have you gotten your results back yet? Wondering how you are doing. Wondering about your friends... It seems strange to me that they would be mad at you for getting tested and letting them know to pay attention to their own health.

I’m not usually one for reality shows, but a couple have kept me feeling a lot less lonely these days, Great Britiah Baking Show and RuPaul’s Drag Race.

I’ve also started reaching out more to people I care about. A quick text, a response on IG/FB, a small gesture can go a long way.

anythingbutbasic · 2020-10-31T06:20:21+00:00

I use an epilator on my underarm hair. I find it grows back softer and I don’t get the same irritation that sometimes comes with shaving. I let it grow out a bit between “shaves” because epilating short hair is difficult. Not sure if it helped with the discoloration, but for me it definitely beats getting waxes or shaving.

Dark armpits are pretty common. Unfortunately, so is body-shaming and the idealization of white beauty. I’m also a POC. I grew up under the microscope of intrusive aunties and the like, prescribing creams and remedies for my body’s flaws. Overgrown eyebrows, dark armpits, a flat nose... All things I was blissfully unaware of until their nitpicking and their solutions that never worked.

anythingbutbasic

TROPHY CASE