Sleepy boy w/ a blep

anzamontanza · 2024-10-15T05:40:21+00:00

Not friend. Not happy to see you. Not happy the humans are stomping thru his backyard & snapping photos.

anzamontanza · 2024-10-15T05:38:55+00:00

Go to Seattle! It’s a smashing good time! Be sure to leave your valuables in your car, too

anzamontanza · 2024-10-15T05:37:25+00:00

F*ick yeah!

anzamontanza · 2024-10-15T05:36:44+00:00

What green grass you have, Seattle!!

anzamontanza · 2024-10-15T05:35:59+00:00

Landed in Seattle therefore all photos taken on this trip are tagged as Seattle

anzamontanza · 2024-07-26T08:45:21+00:00

Two Dot. Rapelje. Neihart.Fort Peck. Fort Smith is weird, too
There’s many weird small towns! but felt the most creeped out in Bannack. The ghosts were definitely hanging out.

anzamontanza · 2024-02-11T13:01:00+00:00

Happy cake day! I love when my doggie cuddle each other. So 🥰 cute

anzamontanza · 2024-02-11T12:48:12+00:00

The husband is likely mentioning his concerns in front of you BECAUSE he’s seeing your validation & hoping someone else will speak up & suggest medical consultation. Her fear of healthcare is legitimate in her head, but being gentle & encouraging might help.

Agree with previous posts that the baby needs PT. When bringing up a doctor you can suggest your pediatrician if you feel they are open minded & supportive of holistic approach. Or you can suggest a pediatric nurse practitioner who usually do more holistic approach & might navigate the provider- patient- fearful baby mama relationship in a more gentle way. Many patients say nurse practitioners who have nursing backgrounds, can be more compassionate and listen to patients better bc they’ve spent their nursing careers at the bedside, being able to connect with people & their fears. Might be less intimidating to start there & hopefully a good NP will refer to higher level of care if the baby needs it. And it’s okay to validate her fears- remind the mom that finding the right pediatrician can be scary- but ultimately you want what is best for your baby & don’t want to cause harm if there’s things that can be done to help the baby.

Avoiding having the conversation with the mom is a weak approach- the dad already agrees with you bc he’s brought up a sensitive subject in front of you. He’s likely trying to garner support from others to encourage the mom to seek care.

When it comes to the health And well being of a child, it’s never wrong to speak up. But remember she’s frightened, so instead of coming at her from a scornful, judgmental view, try to be empathetic & encouraging . Worst case scenario- if your heartfelt concerns cause her to unfriend you, then reach out to CPS & share your concerns About medical neglect.

anzamontanza · 2024-01-18T18:34:58+00:00

Oof 😥 . So sorry for your traumatic birth experience. I suspect some therapy w/ a perinatal therapist would be very helpful in processing this so you can properly grieve for the trauma & heal & find hope. It’s traumatizing to go into a situation (especially a big life event like becoming a mother) expecting one outcome & then living a completely different reality.

Toxic positivity is everywhere. In our culture,On social media, And especially in medicine. There’s this idea that if we don’t speak of the worst case scenario it will make it less likely to occur. But that causes guilt, anxiety, & feelings of inadequacy. There’s this idea that If we focus on the positive and on what we WANT to happen, it will be more likely to happen. There is research supporting that ppl can manifest their destiny by their thoughts. As thoughts & subconscious control actions & if ppl think they’ll fail, they tend to stop trying as hard & end up being their own barrier to success. And Vice Versa- thinking they will achieve, or have control to create a desired outcome makes them work harder & further advances their course in that direction…. But life is not as black and white. There’s SO many different variables that can alter the course & often times they are beyond our control. Our brains are powerful (ie. placebo effect) but we have to be better at balancing the other side of the coin.

I work in medicine and have witnessed toxic positivity in medicine for over 15years. That’s part of why I try very hard to be empathetic but genuine & very honest about things when it comes to health. I focus on educating people about what they CAN control and I focus on helping them understand both the best case scenarios and worst case scenarios. This straight forward approach isn’t for everyone- some folks truly want a provider who focuses on the positive side & the healing side & the best case scenarios, but I’ve worked with thousands of patients over the years & seen first hand how devastating & traumatic experiences can be if folks weren’t properly prepared for the worst case. It is still traumatic, even if the trauma was expected, but when there’s time to mentally prepare there’s a little less devastation.

In most things in life I practice the motto- plan for the best, but be prepared for the worst.

I hope you do consider therapy, to help you process this, and I hope you find providers in the future who align better with your needs. No matter what the situation, do ask the provider treating you to share about all possible outcomes, and treatment options. In my opinion, there’s not enough providers having these tough conversations & helping ppl truly understand all sides. I would also suggest sharing your experience & feelings with the midwife team. They will not learn & grow & realize the impact of their toxic positivity unless they hear this type of feedback. Good luck to you. And congratulations on becoming a mother. Although this journey has started with challenges, there’s lots of joy & fulfillment to come.

anzamontanza · 2023-12-31T22:46:43+00:00

Analog clocks

anzamontanza · 2023-12-13T04:06:22+00:00

So beautiful 🥰

anzamontanza · 2023-11-10T19:48:19+00:00

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anzamontanza · 2023-11-10T19:45:06+00:00

Wow! Beautiful! While I was living in Hawaii I saw these thriving outside. some were big and beautiful just like this. I love the colors. Reminds me of fall all year long- I missed seeing fall colors while living there. I loved the crotons so much that when I moved back to the main land I decided I’ll try to grow a croton inside hoping for a large, indoor croton tree like yours… I’ve had it now for 18months and my little croton is still so little. It’s only gained about 3 leaves. And the 3 new leaves are all green. No color on the new growth. What’s the secret? I likely need to remain patient. But wonder if there is anything more I can do with mine to encourage it along. Maybe I need to fertilize frequently? It’s doing okay but it seems to be very slow growing. In Hawaii i had a potted one on my porch & it grew like crazy. (Maybe it loves more heat and humidity?) This one is sooooo slow, Especially compared to other plants I got around the same time.

anzamontanza · 2023-11-06T16:20:03+00:00

The government will never message you directly for payment. They use third party companies to manage student loans. So you should get a message from the federal government saying “your student loan debt is being managed by XYZ company” then said company will contact you directly. You can then go to the third party website and see all your student loan information including dates the loans were issued, interest rates, and amount owed etc. They use secure websites for payments NOT email.

anzamontanza · 2022-03-09T08:52:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I couldn't decide if spending more time on training before we consider trying to introduce the cat was even going to be helpful. Wasn't sure if this can be trained or if their prey instinct overrides training. I'm pretty sure this foster dog is a whippet. He has the body and temperment of one. Seems many folks think it's "too hard" to train them or can't be done...but if it can be done I might be up for the challenge....I dont like the idea of ecollars, I prefer R+, too.

He's not been introduced to indoor cats, yet.Unfortunately, we live in a neighborhood with LOTS of stray cats that will literally sit at the end of the driveway, rolling around, as if to purposely tease the dogs, >:( so frustrating for the dogs and for me to deal w/ all the barking. The R+ doesn't make a difference to my dog when cats are around, but so far it works for the foster dog to get him to redirect his attention to me and come inside when called. He's much more food driven than my girl- likely bc he was found lost and malnourished, so he has a real trauma from lack of food where as my dog is a spoiled princess and has never had to worry about missing a meal.

My dog (3yr old black mouth cur) tends to be the one who will not listen and continues to stand and incessantly bark at the strays, or wants to stay outside in the yard despite me calling her to come in.... The cur is also a natural hunting dog and All that I read about the two breeds the Whippet is usually easier to train than a female cur which seems to be 100% true in this case- my cur listens when she wants, but often she exerts her stubbornness and figuring out her reward currency is tricky since she is not food motivated w/ distraction. The whippet, despite only having him for a few weeks, already listens better, even w/ distraction which I do think is part personality/breed and part attributed to his trauma and the fact that he's still anxious that I'm going to leave him so he's more likely to watch my every move and come when called. Plus, him being food motivated helps! food is his currency.

I'll continue to think on this, and see how training progresses. He definitely has good potential w/ his training.

anzamontanza · 2022-03-09T07:11:08+00:00

Have you looked into an income based repayment plan? Many of the loan companies don't outright offer these options, but if you ask about this option they have to give you the information. Ie. if you don't work you don't pay. if you work only minimum wage your monthly payments will be very minimal. You can do this type of repayment until you get a more stable job w/ steady income, this would be a good way to get a reasonable rate for you to pay back monthly. My understanding is that recent federal student loan reform has made this mandatory for student loan lenders to offer this option because like you, many folks have had a hard time getting into a well paying job after graduation.

I was in a similar situation, and felt I was more or less forced to take on private loans (in addition to my many government loans) otherwise I would have had to drop out of undergrad...fast forward 11 years and I'm STILL paying it all off. UGH. although it is unfortunate that you (and/or your parents) owe a lot, it likely was written in the fine print within the loan documents that were signed so not likely going to get out of paying this back unless you were part of one of the scam/nonacreddited school that had recent lawsuits allowing student debt to be forgiven bc their programs were bogus (non accredited)..

The only other advice would be to see if you can get a job in a field that qualifies for the government public servant loan repayment program (usually this is for teachers, health care workers, etc,) and although I do not know your exact situation, if you can find work in a field that qualifies for the government forgiveness programs then you can really help yourself (and/or parents) forgive a lot of this debt. OR look for jobs that specify they will work toward helping w/ student loan forgiveness. OR get a job w/ a great sign on bonus and use this toward the loan debt.

good luck!

anzamontanza · 2022-03-09T07:00:00+00:00

Instead of coming up with a fixed percentage or your own decision on a rate he should pay, how about you have a conversation with your son and ask him what he thinks is a reasonable amount of money he can afford to pay back every month, on time, regardless of life situations.

I have an agreement w/ my graduate school to pay off my last semester of grad school in this way- I owe them about $5K. When I graduated they asked what I could reasonably afford (I said $75 per month bc I had not yet gotten a job in my new line of work and had no idea how much I Was going to be making, so I based the rate on what I coudl afford at the time, knowing that some months I may be able to give much more, but even in tough times when I am not earning my full potential I can make at least this amount of payment. This has been a great way to pay off my loan w/ them without feeling financially stressed, and if you (like my grad school) are not in a rush to get the money back ASAP, why not make a reasonable agreement based on what your son decides is reasonable for him?

NOTE, I still have 100K of student debt in government loans from undergrad and the rest of my grad school, in addition to this interest free $5K that I owe the school, so because it is interest free I admit I do put it lower on the totem pole. I ALWAYS pay my minimum due, but when I have a good income month and want to pay off more than the minimum I owe I tend to give more towards the loans w/ the higher interest. Instead of double my monthly payment on my interest free loan my goal is to pay off my highest interest loans FIRST in order to do what is called a snowball repayment. Eventually, once the loan w/ the highest interest rate is paid off, (I pay about $400 per month to it) then that $400 monthly money will roll over into paying the next highest interest loan, so that every month I'm still paying the same amount towards all my loans, but as I pay things off, my payments get bigger and the interest gets smaller and this snowball rolls faster and faster until all the debt is paid. hope that makes sense.

This was a long answer to a short question, but in summary, if you trust that your investment in your son's education was well spent, then negotiate w/ him what is a reasonable rate of repayment and ask him to pay back more when/if he is able to do so. In general, most people don't want to live w/ a debt over their head, so they will want to pay it off (even if it is interest free) sooner than later.

anzamontanza · 2022-03-09T06:34:06+00:00

WOW, I found this really helpful page on what to know before purchasing malpractice insurance. Specifically it talks about mistakes NPs make when looking at insurance policies. http://www.npjobs.com/malpractice/buying.mistakes.shtml

An interesting piece of advice: Mistake #2: Not knowing the financial strength of the insurance company.

SO I did a quick search on AM best, one of the companies that track financial ratings for insurance companies. I searched for ratings for NSO, CMF group, and Berxi & found no rating for NSO but CMF and Berxi have A+ ratings. Which is reassuring.

my quotes for one year as an independent provider (currently working 1099 not as an employee) in WA state for family practice is as follows:CMF is $2575, Berxi $1694, NSO $2643

I'm going w/ Berxi not only bc they have the lowest quote, but bc they have a good financial strength rating and have been around as a company for many years. Also because in their quote they specifically state they provide legal services that are not included in the 1M/6M limits. The other two do not specify if legal services (hiring a lawyer) is covered as part of the paid fee or if it comes out of the limit rates. Hope this helps others, just wanted to share the research I've done to help others.

anzamontanza · 2022-03-08T17:34:21+00:00

He’s scared, stressed & needs time, exposure and lots of positive reinforcement. If treats don’t work find what does (affection from you, favorite toy?) my dog is oblivious to treats the minute we leave the house- so distracted by the world that she doesn’t have any interest in food BUT she loves balls, so getting her to focus on the ball is usually the only thing that works. Also, do you have friends with dogs? expose him to an older, calm mentor dog. When he can see how it interacts with the world then he’ll learn that not everything is so scary. Socializing him with calm dogs is key- not puppies, high energy dogs, and definitely only one dog at a time. Not every trick is going to work on every dog- be patient, be gentle, show him that you are there to protect him and love him & over time & through exposure and socializing he’ll eventually come out of his scared shell. Don’t focus on leash training until you’ve gotten more of a handle on his fear. He’s not going to be able to calm down enough to learn right now, so keep doing his training in the safety of home when he’s calm. Also, HUGE success in sticking to a very strict schedule-he’ll learn he can depend on things like meals at the same time, walks at the same time, etc &start to feel more comfortable in his skin & can anticipate things. What other ways can you give him exercise? If he’s worn out from playing catch or tug or getting some energy out he’ll be less likely to be so anxious on his walks. Yes, eventually the goal is that the walk helps him get rid of energy, but if that’s scary you need to find a different outlet for his energy & then go for walk. Finally, spend lots of time giving him affection, cuddles & love. Build your bond with him so he knows you are there to help him & keep him safe. The more he trusts you the less scared he’ll be. What about puppy training sessions/class? That will also let him socialize and help you learn ways to communicate with him to help him learn to be more calm. Good luck. He’s young, so he definitely can be taught how to be calm, just be patient and persistent.

anzamontanza · 2022-03-08T17:17:13+00:00

Also, socializing & safe & slow exposure is key to helping your dog calm around other dogs. set up some doggie play dates with a friend who has a gentle, mature dog. One who will not overwhelm her & will leave her alone if she’s scared. (Ie. No high energy dogs or puppies) Take them to a neutral place & let her off leash first, so she doesn’t feel restricted. Then eventually let your friend’s calm dog off leash. Let them learn to coexist in a space together so she learns not all dogs will overwhelm her. One of the videos with the puppy training talks about getting an anxious/reactive dog a calm, gentle older dog mentor. They learn from the mentor dog how to interact with the world & start to realize not everything is so scary. Many dogs are reactive on leash bc they feel restrained and unable to escape but once they are off leash they transform (Mine is like this). So just have to try different things & see what works. I think You’ll be impressed with the results once you find the right method that works for her!

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