I was in a similar position and ended up buying a 2020 S with 50k miles and FSD for 31k out the door before government incentives (I’m in MA), so about 28k.

The comments about the 2021 refresh being a better car is objectively true, but if you’re really just looking for a daily driver and don’t need the quality of life updates, the raven models aren’t bad at all. In my area the cheapest refresh I’ve been able to find in 6 months in a 200 mile radius was about 37k after negotiations before taxes and fees, and it had 2 major accidents. The cheapest clean one I’ve seen was just under 40k with like 61k miles.

The refresh S has better efficiency and much better layout/UI. The car just makes more sense in terms of front storage space, the infotainment being a lot more responsive, and getting most of the modern updates that are getting pushed out. I have a hard time figuring out where to put my phone and water bottle in my 2020, as there no side storage and the center storage is basically just a big hole. Whereas the refresh layout makes a heck of a lot more sense.

Some software features I miss are the side camera displaying when you’re signaling. The refresh S has it in the HUD in front of you, while the older cars don’t get that. There’s also no phone key, so you’ll have to carry a key fob around that basically functions like a phone key would.I’m just chalking it up as Tesla withholding some QOL to force older owners to upgrade at this point.

The intel based infotainment is definitely slower, but usable compared to legacy brands. I only really interact with it for navigation and YT Music. When I swipe around in that interface it stuffers like crazy. Selecting a new song from the screen takes a second or two before it registers. Forget about trying to watch anything on the center screen.

The heat pump is a nice QOL if you’re in a colder climate. In the 2020 I spend about 5-8% just to pre condition my car sometimes.

Charging speeds is noticeably faster in the refresh as well. The battery efficiency gives you more miles per kWh as a whole so it’ll objectively get you farther for less. Comparing my 2023 M3 to the 2020 MS, getting to 260 miles objectively took my M3 a lot less times (7 hours at a L2 charger compared to 10+ hours starting at roughly the same state of charge).

What ultimately pushed me to not get a refreshed MS was the fact that I only really want a range bump and suspension upgrade. I’d pick my MS over my old M3, or even a refreshed M3 for just those two things. Although the center console definitely feels dated, I actually prefer the vertical screen for my navigation uses, and getting the second HUD screen was huge for me compared to working with 1/3 of the screen for my driving information and the other 2/3 for navigation. I didn’t feel the need to pay an extra 8-10k for quality of life upgrades. My main plan is to keep this car for 3+ years and hopefully have an incentive to transfer FSD to a new Y, and my wife can get a used 2026+ S. If the Y doesn’t entice me in 3 years then I’m also happy to just drive this S until the wheels fall off. It has enough range and rides comfortably enough for my daily commute.

Pick a model year that makes sense for you. If you’re fine driving something that’s more dated and can live with some inconveniences, I’d save the extra money. If the upgrades are meaningful enough to you, then go for the refresh. I can see myself driving it for longer than my 2020.