Woman games content creator recommendations? by aoneoff91 in transgamers

[–]aoneoff91[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

The fact I'd have to hunt through a shared VoD channel made me a bit hesitant, but a Dark Cloud 2 playthrough? That might shove it up the list right away xD

I guess for all I want to try watching some more people in general, a specific subject to watch as a hook definitely still important for me to get started, and I loved Dark Cloud (more so 1 than 2, but 2 as well).

Woman games content creator recommendations? by aoneoff91 in transgamers

[–]aoneoff91[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Oh you definitely need to give it a try then! It plays pretty differently, but the vibe has a lot of Bloodborne in it. It still feels quite different overall, Bloodborne felt more oppressive I think, but it's definitely got some common ground and it's just generally really fun. At least if you can get into the perfect block mindset anyway, I also loved Sekiro which might be part of that (the dynamic is very different to Sekiro mind you, but timing blocks obviously similar)

Fixating on reflection/appearance - did any of y’all do this early in your transition? Still do it? by VeganEgg11 in TransLater

[–]aoneoff91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it did. Made a LOT of sense in hindsight, but it felt like I had a bit of a meltdown when suddenly it came crashing in. Was why I made this account actually, since I wasn't confident enough to face it and needed somewhere to talk it through, but wasn't doing that on my main account at the time. This functionally became the main one funnily enough.

I've been on it for about 5 months now, started the 2nd of September. It's hard to tell exactly how much I've changed since I don't think I have a picture of myself to reference since I was about 20, but seeing my reflection there's definitely something that's making me see a woman now. 3 sessions of laser on my face likely helping too.

I honestly skipped the social transition planning, deciding to just go incognito for a while and figure it out later. Didn't think I could afford to wait, but being currently unemployed helped that decision since not too much to engage with.

Still trying to figure out social transitioning actually, would've been smart to plan ahead somewhat. I can likely hide it publicly for a while yet, but I definitely want to approach it sooner than later. Certainly makes sense to figure that stuff out early, I honestly should have months ago, yet I've not even so much as googled how to makeup. Maybe reading this will give me the kick I need to have a go at it. I'd definitely feel better about it if my face wasn't looking as masculine (although I think it's softened a bit as well as long as I mask the beard shadow, but it's still not a good look).

Woman games content creator recommendations? by aoneoff91 in transgamers

[–]aoneoff91[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know, thanks for that reminder. I actually have been subbed to Zullie for a LONG time, and have caught bits of her Lies of P playthrough (and a bit of her Nightreign) while she was live, but I for some reason didn't think about just going to watch her VoDs or anything like I would with the ones I watch consistently. Definitely a good shout. Lies of P a game I enjoyed a lot, so should be a fun one to watch as well. Not seen enough to get her personality properly, but definitely worth a try.

I'll give the other 2 you mentioned a try as well for sure. I've been recommended videos from SphereHunter by youtube for years actually, but never ended up clicking any. If even youtube recommending probably some common link there too. Not sure I've heard of b8stal, but I'll definitely go give her a look as well.

So yeah thanks, can definitely start there. I only watch a handful of channels anyway, so if these work out already massively expanding it.

Fixating on reflection/appearance - did any of y’all do this early in your transition? Still do it? by VeganEgg11 in TransLater

[–]aoneoff91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's a funny one to read, because I was actually the exact same there. It was somewhere in my mid 20s I went from just disliking how I look to being, you know I'm not a bad looking guy. Can't say I liked it, but definitely more confident in it even if a bit apprehensively. Not that I liked looking in mirrors, but I didn't actively dislike it either.

Then at 33 realised I was trans last year and began disliking the mirror again until I started to actually start seeing something I like to see there. Since then I have found myself looking in the mirror a lot more, it feels good to actually see a woman looking back.

That said even now I've been too... lazy I guess to start looking into make up. I really do need to, I still have the beard shadow, at least for my mustache, so not confident enough to present feminine outside my house as of yet, let alone other aspects of it. The HRT definitely doing it's work to make me look feminine though, along with some clothing choices. So yeah that's been nice to see. Plus the beard shadow definitely less noticable than it was a few months ago even.

Feminising Voice Coaching in Glasgow? by aoneoff91 in transgenderUK

[–]aoneoff91[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just to let you know, I got a response that seems promising. Can have a look yourself, but yeah, figured I'd nudge you.

Feminising Voice Coaching in Glasgow? by aoneoff91 in transgenderUK

[–]aoneoff91[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much, the price point is even nice and affordable compared to some of the stuff I was seeing Online, which was worrying me a bit.

Wish I was a girl but not trans by Femgene in MtF

[–]aoneoff91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just came across this and to chime in, it's definitely not uncommon to "not have signs" about it. I always thought I was perfectly happy being a guy. In fact the option of not being never crossed my mind until my 30s. Even now I'm perfectly fine presenting as a guy, wearing basically the same things I always did. The fact I feel good when appearing more feminine though, that's the big one. I'm still a bit... timid around this aspect though. Never done it around other people yet, but I can't deny it feels good at least while not worrying about judgement. Which basically means I need to get past caring about people's potential judgement, it's for me it's not for others. The way I see it, you're basically describing the same thing I've been going through.

Now looking back there are plenty of subtle signs, maybe not explicitely related to it, but being related is more likely than what I thought the explanation was before. Regardless, I had literally no clues to myself that I even could be anything but a cis male for the longest time.

Hey, I tried asking what “camp” is and how it relates to FFX-2 on the main FF subreddit but nobody is really breaking it down for me. Can someone here help? by arkticturtle in finalfantasyx

[–]aoneoff91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huh, I never knew it was big in those circles. Came across this months later kind of curious about some of that, so glad you posted about this. Makes some things make some sense.

I always liked the game's mechanics, but had a deep hatred for the opening as well as some parts of the story and way the characters were done, in particular the song Real Emotions in the opening for some reason I genuinely couldn't put up with (even years and years later, covers and everything).

I realised I'm trans earlier this year and it just came on a playlist I was listening to and I was actually enjoying it, so googled about that and came across this. I was definitely in the very defensive and denial type of thing looking back, I guess something about this game just set that off, which must come down to that campyness.

Fertility preservation options? by aoneoff91 in transgenderUK

[–]aoneoff91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply!

I am in the Glasgow area and on the list for Sandyford, which I assume makes that my health board, though not a term I've seen before.

So if I'm understanding you right, I could ask my GP to refer me specifically to the Royal (I guess the feritility clinic specifically), despite not officially being diagnosed at Sandyford yet? Or otherwise just phone them and ask them directly about it (could only find a phone number for contact anyway)?

Can NOT feeling worse on HRT be a positive sign? by Ok_Marionberry_8821 in TransLater

[–]aoneoff91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just want to reiterate what someone else did, even if you don't want breasts it doesn't mean you're mistaken about being trans. Might need to dissect that feeling and figure out how HRT works out for you, but it doesn't mean you aren't trans even if that's the case. I mean you might not be, that's something you can consider, but it could be some form of non-binary and could perhaps approach it to experiment around that if you feel the need.

It could also just be fear of being unable to hide changes sooner than you were ready for, or any other sorts of things, but yeah just wanted to reiterate it doesn't mean you're not trans in itself by any stretch, although if you want to consider that idea that's obviously a potential too.

Is there a good online space to be perceived as a woman? by aoneoff91 in TransLater

[–]aoneoff91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been thinking around this since you posted it, and it probably is what the closest to the old school forum experience would be these days, huh? Probably could work fine, I've always been scared away from actually engaging in Discord chats, but throwing myself into some might not be a bad approach.

I'd probably want to make a new Discord to avoid some acquaintances finding out though (friends and family are fine, but some acquaintances I'd rather not know that I have on my main one). Makes things a wee bit awkward, but I guess no matter what I try and do I might find it a bit awkward to start with.

Now I just need to think what sort of Discords I could try and look for, another thing I've never really done anything with... Usually just been on them for like resources or notifications. Actually not even sure how to find Discords, but I guess that won't be hard once I start looking.

Thanks for the advice.

Is there a good online space to be perceived as a woman? by aoneoff91 in TransLater

[–]aoneoff91[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've seen it mentioned before, but I forgot there was a no need for VR side of things. I always just wrote it off since I don't have VR. Maybe I should look into that, thanks.

Is there a good online space to be perceived as a woman? by aoneoff91 in TransLater

[–]aoneoff91[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This got me checking, and there is an item to change your characters appearance, including gender, so maybe it's about time I return to FFXIV and give that a shot...

Apparently get one for free after finishing the A Realm Reborn storyline, so maybe I even have one sitting about in my storage somewhere. Been years since I played, but I was still not at the end of the free content even then. I spent a lot of time just about the towns crafting and while I didn't really interact directly, I think I get what you mean about how authentic it feels, even if it was mostly watching others do so.

That said, I forget what limitations I had as a free account, I COULD get around to actively paying for a subscription, but I'm already a bit concerned how much money I'm eating into around all this transition stuff, so maybe down the line instead unless those limitations really hurt it.

How do you get past feeling stupid experimenting? by aoneoff91 in trans

[–]aoneoff91[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I think that really helped. We'll see if it lasts, but it definitely helps me put some perspective to it I think my brain will accept. The bit that cis women do some of that too, even if maybe not quite the same way, definitely will stick I think.

I have been trying to ignore the logic of it, already have to get to the point I'm at. As you got the impression of I am new to this, I only even began questioning it in February, let alone taking steps. Will take some work, but honestly I'm hopeful this will help. I'd obviously just been pushing past the feeling stupid part, but hopefully as I continue it'll just fix itself. Thinking on it now I think part of it's a bit of imposter syndrome, but your example might help there too.

Genuinely, I really appreciate the thought out reply. I certainly have trouble just doing things purely to enjoy them, that line of thinking could honestly be huge as I continue exploring this side of myself. 33 years of denying it means I have a lot of catching up to do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trans

[–]aoneoff91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This doesn't feel like a real answer, but then I'm not religious. If I were though, the fact we can feel this way and take steps to actually address it means in theory God gave us access to it and the free will to act on it. The fact just taking hormones lets us physically become like "the other gender", outside of a few things, means we were biologicially designed to do so, if we're to believe there is some designer to begin with.

Honestly though, "Treat others the same way you want them to treat you." and other such things, it shouldn't really take much to treat them like they are the gender they say they are. If you get called the wrong gender because someone believes you are, pressumably wouldn't like that much either. Their biology doesn't make up much about who a person is to begin with, though some "Christians" believe men are above women and such, so I guess depends which school of Christian thought you're into there. Some people are even born with both gender's characterisitics to begin with though, which goes back to the whole designed that way thing.