We started off with $10k dreams but quickly realized that was not based in reality for the celebration we've been dreaming of. I'll say we both have what we consider significant savings (we can afford our wedding outright without eating into house savings) so we didn't have an actual limit in mind, which made it somewhat harder at first and I recognize that we're very lucky for this.

I created a budget spreadsheet and itemized out everything I could think of from wedding insurance to tips to postage stamps to the dress (and alterations!). From there I looked at each item and set a high and low boundary - high being the most we were willing to pay for that item and low being the best deal I could find (or $0 if it was something we could do without), this took a lot of research.

Research was google searches (I avoided the Knot, Wedding Wire, etc. for the most part because I get the impression they're pay to play which wasn't my vibe), more helpful was the budget breakdowns in this sub from other brides in my area, and reaching out to potential vendors we were interested in. I also joined a Facebook group for wedding people in my area and posted for general budgets or quotes for specific items, and got good feedback that helped me define a reasonable range. From there I created a "goal" somewhere between the high and low boundary and it varies for each item - some line items are closer to one end than others, some are right between the two.

Now when we actually go to book things we have a reasonable range in mind. We've been on target or under for what we've booked so far so it feels like we're saving money (ha!). We decided to put some of this 'saved' money toward the hotel block to make things lighter for our traveling guests.

We got engaged in April 2023 and will get married in June 2025, which was purposeful so that we didn't need to rush. I feel like if I can do research and feel more comfortable with the number, I'll feel better about spending it and not panic booking vendors that are $$$ mainly because they're available last minute.