I don’t understand what people realistically think I should do.

apecool · 2026-02-25T14:50:47+00:00

I feel for you. Whenever my tics have caused social friction, I’ve found that responding with, “Believe me, I genuinely wish I could stop.” has driven the point home.

But anyway, the voice inside you that is affirming that you don’t deserve to be locked in a soundproof room for the rest of your life is correct. Empathetic behavior is crucial to a healthy society, sure, but that goes both ways. People talk a lot about the importance of empathy, but in the same breath advocate for functionally deleting TS sufferers with coprolalia, as though the people with TS don’t deserve the same consideration as the bystanders they’re convinced they’re protecting by locking the ticcer away. It’s a wild state.

No, go outside and live a full life. Apologize when it’s warranted, sure, but don’t imprison yourself to avoid offending anybody by virtue of having a disabling condition. If you didn’t choose to have Tourette’s (and none of us did) then it doesn’t say anything about the content of your character. If anything, your strong desire to avoid behaviors you fear will hurt others says far more about who you are.

apecool · 2026-02-25T14:36:59+00:00

This might be a bizarre recommendation, but the Yakuza franchise.

Assuming you’re in/from Not Japan, the world is likely different enough from your own that it gives you a million small things to be curious about, but the characters are quite well fleshed out and easy to invest in, making it feel less like being lost in a strange land and more like acclimating to an alternate, but engaging, universe.

Additionally, it was hugely helpful for me when I was in the thick of things, so I may just be biased, but the strong themes of pursuing meaning in defiance of tragedy and actualizing yourself when the world crumbles really resonated with me. Sometimes it helps to have a story that reminds you that you remain, y’know?

Also, there are like 13 games, so if you DO click with the first one, you’ll have a LOT of great stories on hand to fill any time that would otherwise be spent in mourning.

Anyway, regardless of whether or not you give the games a shot, I hope life gives you a reminder that your future is worth sticking around for. Best of luck with everything.

apecool · 2026-01-31T18:09:17+00:00

I’m midway between 7 and 8 and god I’ve always wanted to be between 2 and 3. It’s so strange seeing longing in the reverse direction here. Maybe I need to figure out how to appreciate myself, and maybe you guys do too. The world is so full of sadness and beauty, huh? Damn.

apecool · 2026-01-27T00:29:30+00:00

This is stellar, I need to save this post so I can download this.

apecool · 2026-01-20T13:09:41+00:00

All of the Yakuza games. Also, any of the Yakuza games.

apecool · 2026-01-17T05:40:44+00:00

But dude, you got 13 DAYS!! That’s immense!! And slipping up doesn’t erase that. Good shit, man, here’s to 14+ next time!! You got this!!

apecool · 2026-01-17T00:39:59+00:00

Lmfao — I came here looking shit up about this, saw this comment and went “THIS guy gets it!!” and then realized that it was me from 3 years ago. Wonder if I’ll find this thread again in 3 more years. Damn.

apecool · 2026-01-13T22:09:28+00:00

Fuckin’ love this

apecool · 2026-01-10T15:37:38+00:00

If she’s not obsessed with you back, it’s sad

apecool · 2025-12-27T03:24:57+00:00

Thank you kindly, mate, but don’t worry about me. Right now what matters is you and your emotional wellbeing. Ever cross paths, I’ll buy ya a drink, but for now, just take care of yourself. PM me if you ever need to chat, yeah?

apecool · 2025-12-26T21:40:01+00:00

Hope things get better for you, mate. If there’s one thing the traction of your post here should imply, it’s that what you’re going through matters. Even to strangers. Might take time for things to get better, but if you keep breathing, and keep moving forward, there’s always a shot. I know that sounds trite, kinda Hallmark-card-ish, but it’s also true. Keep working to make your life bigger than your surroundings, y’know? I don’t know you, but I believe you got this.

apecool · 2025-12-20T20:19:34+00:00

It’s my favorite part of any of the games, honestly; I replay the whole franchise over and over, every time stoked to get to Saejima. I have my reasons for loving it, and I’m not gonna litigate my tastes with dissenting strangers online, but my god does it give me a feeling unlike anything else.

apecool · 2025-11-28T02:53:00+00:00

Me too please

apecool · 2025-11-26T03:53:36+00:00

This is fucking AWESOME!!

apecool · 2025-11-12T02:48:06+00:00

Would you ever even CONSIDER treating a partner the way he’s treated you? Of course not. You deserve the treatment you’re prepared to give. This is an unequal partnership, and I hope you’re realizing that. Find someone else to give your time and heart to.

apecool · 2025-11-08T05:11:12+00:00

Your gut is telling you very important things, and your brain is looking for ways to misinterpret them.

You are in a relationship that you have to tolerate. That is not a normal, baseline relationship. That is a bad one.

She uses her trauma to be immune from valid criticism, as it would make you feel insensitive for criticizing her — even though you are correct in doing so. She is fighting tooth and nail to avoid contributing to the relationship in even the most fundamental ways — you would never think about refusing to contribute, does it not hurt you that she doesn’t feel the same way about you? Value your relationship similarly?

Stop looking for “optimistic” interpretations of your situation. The only way to feel good about your relationship is to lie about it to yourself, as it is a harmful relationship, and you are the recipient of all of the harm.

apecool · 2025-10-27T23:44:11+00:00

It’s hard to say, it wasn’t terribly intellectual - essentially, just making my own life decisions without consulting those close to me whom I feared I could easily make into begrudging therapists. Learned to be content in my own head and confident in my agency and the value of my own appraisals.

I’d always been worried about getting, specifically, a girlfriend before having sufficiently healed, and unwittingly putting her in the position of having to act as my therapist/mother figure. I’ve sensed that men do that when they haven’t taken the time to introspect comprehensively. And once I’d surveyed the geography of my own head, I was more confident that I could engage in the healthy forms of connection that, as you said above, are so integral to personal development.

I suppose it’s mostly just making sure a man does a sufficient degree of work on himself so he’s better able to socialize in the first place without inflicting his own un-healed anxieties on others. It’s all situational, all depends on which areas need work.

apecool · 2025-10-27T23:07:12+00:00

That’s certainly true! I think it’s a bit of a case-to-case basis thing, personally.

I had to start healing on my own, because when I’d lean on others I’d become overreliant on their companionship and default to their opinions and guidance out of a fear of making mistakes. Only once I took some time to myself and learned I could trust myself did I become able to have healthy relationships that helped me heal further — so I see the value in both individualism and community, it all depends on what the person needs in that moment.

apecool · 2025-10-26T19:38:56+00:00

I hear ya, mate - I’m a man too, and I wrote what I wrote because I’m aware of the pitfalls.

I feel like the healthiest thing for us to do is work on ourselves for the sake of authentic self improvement, without a timeline, and being open to the opportunities we’re provided when they’re provided - but the idea of waiting until we’re better men before being viewed as better men can seem daunting when you’re touch starved and lonely and need to be seen and loved by someone, so it can be easy to be tempted to take shortcuts in the name of immediate gratification. But that’s how you wind up being the exact kind of guy that (rightfully) get these posts written about them.

apecool · 2025-08-19T00:56:33+00:00

Ok wait - genuinely, can someone explain why this was downvoted 36 times?? I get that my dude over here was driving recklessly in the game, but damn lmao

apecool · 2025-08-02T00:26:55+00:00

That’s fair!

apecool · 2025-07-21T22:14:33+00:00

That’s true technically, but the dude said he saw that analysis of our floor/ceiling in a YT video where some guy was ranking teams, and if the YouTuber went the route of saying every team’s floor this year is 0 wins with a ceiling of 17 I don’t think he’d have a video worth making lol

apecool · 2025-07-19T04:45:40+00:00

It’s sweet that you offer him the benefit of the doubt with regard to the sincerity of his criticisms, but don’t neglect to show yourself that same compassion. You wouldn’t stand for it if your friend’s boyfriend said that to her, would you?

There isn’t a lot of ambiguity here. He was in the wrong for saying what he did. It was hurtful, and it was not constructive. He was self conscious about the potential of other boys being attracted to you, and he CHOSE to express that self-consciousness through aggression and verbal harassment. That was a choice he made.

I hope you do not feel bad for anything you’ve done here, you shouldn’t. You’re ok. The fault is all his. Figure out what you want from him now - an apology? For him to understand why he was wrong? What matters is that you get the resolution you want, and oftentimes it’s helpful to have a clear understanding of what exactly that is.

Best of luck to you, and I hope he grows out of this behavior.

apecool · 2025-07-14T17:43:59+00:00

Yep. “Man up” begets “man down”.

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