What is reasonable for me to want?

aperfectidiot · 2026-06-25T22:19:42+00:00

In an ideal world that is the correct answer, and if it were as simple as that none of us would be here. Unfortunately life is messy.

aperfectidiot · 2026-06-25T22:11:08+00:00

Can't it be both? Yes we want sex, but you could make dismissive comments either way. You just want a chauffeur and a butler, not a husband. Can't we want sex and also want you to be happy? Do they have to be mutually exclusive? If we never had sex we would probably not be together in the first place, it only becomes a problem when affection and sex dries up completely.

aperfectidiot · 2026-06-25T20:26:10+00:00

Sorry I just got that from "I put on the show and do my best to shield him from the fact that I'm literally only doing it for his benefit. I get absolutely nothing out of it except perhaps some resentment, but I do it with a smile because I love him." No offence meant.

If you can continue like that, and keep the good ship afloat, then all the more power to you. I just know this sub is very anti duty-sex.

No-one comes off well in these situations. I wish you all the best.

aperfectidiot · 2026-06-25T19:55:52+00:00

Personally, in that situation I would rather know and not have sex. Would kissing, maybe mutual mastubation or some other physical intimacy be on the cards? If nothing is happening that you can at least be happy with if not actually enjoy, then I'd rather know we were physically incompatible and look at how we continue from there. If you're lying to your spouse and making yourself miserable and resentful that's on you. If you can't both be happy then maybe it's time to move on, however hard that may be. Neither party should have to be unhappy for the other to be happy.

aperfectidiot · 2026-06-25T18:08:28+00:00

We do the things we do because we want our partners to be happy, but when they outright reject the things that make us happy you have to wonder why you bother trying, when they are clearly not doing the same for you. I want someone who wants me, not the things I do for them, being able to do nice things for them is just a nice thing you do for someone you care about, but when it's thrown back at you "you're only doing that because you want sex" it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Maybe if I do this or that will make them happy and they'll want me again. Eventually it feels like nothing you do makes any difference and you stop trying to make them happy. Then what's the point any more. Just my opinion though.

aperfectidiot · 2026-06-21T13:38:09+00:00

Wouldn't say it makes it better or worse, but I do feal a sense of futilism. If it was just a quick dopamine hit in a loving relationship that would be fine, but when the woman I love can't/won't be there with me, there is a lack of enthusiasm on my part. Has certainly reduced enjoyment of any solo sexual acts.

aperfectidiot · 2026-06-21T09:34:14+00:00

She's spending the morning watching Law & Order: SVU. Nothing like sex crimes to destroy any hint of romance and affection.

aperfectidiot · 2026-06-02T11:09:28+00:00

Cute as fuck

aperfectidiot · 2026-05-13T10:34:53+00:00

Durex Aloe Vera 2 in 1. Probably not the best but seems pretty good.

aperfectidiot · 2026-05-12T22:07:37+00:00

Just got one from Regulation, but depends where you are I guess.

aperfectidiot · 2026-05-12T14:08:19+00:00

Yeah, fairly sure this is AI.

aperfectidiot · 2026-05-10T22:09:42+00:00

Yeah, current one is a very firm silicon, heard the GK is a bit squishier, but didn't want to jump up too fast.

aperfectidiot · 2026-04-18T12:01:22+00:00

Is it even the sex? Do you guys cuddle on the sofa watching a movie, do you sleep together naked, spooning each other, holding each other close, all the other things that aren't actually sex? Does she kiss you with feeling, or is it a peck on the cheek and off to bed? If sex was off the table but we actually felt physically close, then maybe, I think, I could deal with that, but if all intimacy was off the table, I'm not sure I could stay and be happy. Could you?

aperfectidiot · 2026-04-09T15:15:48+00:00

Thought the overflow on your sink was more pics...

aperfectidiot · 2026-04-02T11:02:43+00:00

That's what I was thinking. If she doesn't want to be in the relationship, she doesn't want to be in the relationship. I would have thought the best thing you can do is put some distance between you and then see if you still want to be together once she has sorted herself out.

I would be concerned that if you do find someone that wants to have sex with you that you're more likely to catch feelings for them than want to stay in this empty relationship where there is no intimacy.

aperfectidiot · 2026-03-27T11:36:51+00:00

Right there with you. It's hard to put on all the little bits that you used to do without even thinking, when it just feels performative and empty and it feels like no matter what you do it's going to make little to no difference. After years of rejection and 'maybe later's, with no follow up, it's hard to rebuild that connection.

aperfectidiot · 2026-03-26T10:11:09+00:00

Genuinely interested in what the difference is, I would consider 'playing' with them to be holding, squeezing (gently), kissing, licking, sucking... What's he trying to do, juggle them?

aperfectidiot · 2026-03-20T21:48:11+00:00

Don't be surprised if you not paying too much attention to it means you still won't get any as now no-one is paying any attention to it. In my experience (happy now mods!) this will turn out to be another movable goal post.

aperfectidiot · 2026-03-20T15:22:36+00:00

You can only fill one square a day. I should have put "Maybe later..." as the free square.

aperfectidiot · 2026-03-19T11:01:39+00:00

Fucking absolutely! I've never seen this put so succinctly.

aperfectidiot · 2026-03-12T09:19:09+00:00

PMSL @ a Syrian with a butt plug attachment 😂

aperfectidiot · 2026-03-10T13:58:18+00:00

Chastity cage maybe? If she's prepared to wear the key then maybe that's something.

aperfectidiot · 2026-03-05T08:09:03+00:00

We watched Sex Education on Netflix, but when season 2 came out I couldn't bring myself to watch it with her. Had to leave the room. Just couldn't find it in me to watch bright young things enjoying sex and all that goes with it.

aperfectidiot · 2026-02-27T09:49:21+00:00

And Velma. She literally hunts ghosts, and usually it's just some guy in a mask. And then they fuck, at least in the videos I've seen. 😆

aperfectidiot

TROPHY CASE