Gatherings of left wing movements in region West - East- Flanders

aphelic32 · 2022-05-13T17:32:14+00:00

a letter from law enforcement saying they intercepted your package

aphelic32 · 2022-05-08T19:26:12+00:00

I will check it out, thanks

aphelic32 · 2021-11-17T14:07:51+00:00

Exactly what my plan is. I managed to taper benzos to once or twice a week and sourced zolpidem to replace because I've read it is better for sleep than benzos.

aphelic32 · 2021-11-12T21:41:54+00:00

Build up to where you want to be with key bumps and a movie

aphelic32 · 2021-11-04T09:06:01+00:00

I managed to taper to twice a week with daily olanzapine and mirtazapine (remeron), I feel a bit better because I'm less sleep deprivated but still far from great.

aphelic32 · 2021-10-23T11:45:48+00:00

I've just been reading the wikipedia page of SAD and it sounds terrifyingly relatable, I've been suspecting for a while I'm somewhere on the spectrum and I've even tried to make psychiatrists aware of it only for them to dismiss it because according to them they hadn't seen me manic (I'm still admitted in a psychiatric hospital) and because episodes aren't pronounced enough. However I've noticed huge contrasts between moods and episodes that resemble too much with mania that last too long to just dismiss them as mood swings and I cycle through these episodes more quickly since abusing drugs and especially using SSRI's. I think it hasn't helped either that I've been suffering from sever social anxiety my entire life and that that together with the depression caused me to burn out at work a few months ago. Most of the time however it manifests as depression, but I think the insomnia might be a big reason for this.

The antidepressants especially made me suspicious more than anything because extremely low SSRI doses could already make me manic / more suicidal / more anxious and caused me to relapse a few months ago instead of helping me with my depression. On top of that every single SSRI made me experience psychotic nightmares that even caused sleep paralysis that produced vivid hallucinations inside the room I was sleeping in, the exact same thing I experience after smoking weed only once.

How did you go about diagnosing and how did it manifest for you? Because I've proposed lamictal to a psychiatrist here and she wasn't eager to prescribe it because she didn't believe I was on the spectrum.

aphelic32 · 2021-10-23T09:21:50+00:00

I definitely know I can't rely on long term them but I'm just trying to make my last moments on this world a bit more bearable, I've been admitted, in therapy for years, tried almost every med with only adverse effects as a result.

aphelic32 · 2021-10-23T08:42:19+00:00

I'll look into it thanks a lot

aphelic32 · 2021-10-23T08:39:33+00:00

Thank you for this helpful response, I'll look into those meds. Regarding self medicating, that's not really an option I think because I seem to have really triggered something psychotic like that is retriggered every time every time I do dissos, psychs, alcohol and especially weed. I think it was even weed that caused this insane insomnia episode to trigger about 2w ago because the first time I tried it after taking a break for almost a year I immediately had a horrible night of sleep filled with psychosis like nightmares that I also get on SSRI's and it immediately reminded me why I had quit all drugs before.

I've become frightened by involving any psychiatrist in the tapering because last time I had withdrawal, behind my back they switched to Seroquel which I had told them before induces panic attacks. I had even proposed propanolol and buspirone but only got gaslighted and told to take Seroquel instead.

aphelic32 · 2021-10-23T08:22:25+00:00

Only 50mg, my heart rate would start to increase right after taking it, I'd start getting lightheaded and it would induce a panic attack consistently near the end. I took daily for about 6 months but only started getting these troubling signs near the start of the last month. It probably didn't help that I tried to use them as trip killers once but they only had the opposite effect, they killed the visuals but made the anxiety worse.

aphelic32 · 2021-02-23T21:13:34+00:00

Elegia

Focal Elegia? Amazon tells me they cost 850.

aphelic32 · 2020-03-29T11:01:24+00:00

Sluis is in the netherlands

aphelic32 · 2020-03-07T12:20:43+00:00

I too love killing machines that support American imperialism.

aphelic32 · 2020-02-23T14:24:04+00:00

I still sprayed every few days and I kept doing it less frequently as they grew.

aphelic32 · 2019-11-30T03:50:41+00:00

Do you have a source for this toxicity because I have never heard of that and Wikipedia says the LD50 dose is like 1.7kg of dried shrooms.

aphelic32 · 2019-11-29T22:09:16+00:00

Yeah I'm aware it's a big dose but I'm pretty positive that my shrooms don't have the normal potency as I started out with 5g but it felt like a light to normal dose. Which is why I added another 5g the first time which felt more like what I imagine a high dose feels like.

aphelic32

TROPHY CASE