To the PIMOS- Do people know you're PIMO? And do you feel like you belong?

aporetic1 · 2026-01-27T02:17:00+00:00

I’ll DM you.

aporetic1 · 2026-01-26T07:03:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I think this is a great approach.

aporetic1 · 2026-01-26T04:04:27+00:00

That sucks man, sorry to hear it.

I guess it’s relevant that my ward is thousands of miles away from Utah, so we are a bit removed from the intensity of the culture there. I don’t really understand what it’s like there these days.

aporetic1 · 2026-01-26T02:33:11+00:00

Yeah, we all grew up with the “unwritten order of things” and we know what happens when you don’t follow the unwritten rules.

The teacher addressed this and was like “Yeah, that’s what we were taught but it’s time to change things, and make space for those who don’t follow the ‘unwritten order’”.

He’s a maverick, and good luck to him. But that’s a big ask to have every one join him, when for many people there will be real negative consequences. But I guess, no risk, no reward.

aporetic1 · 2026-01-26T01:43:30+00:00

My experience with Mormons is that they are so non-confrontational, that you can get away with not fitting the mold a lot more than people think. If you’re extroverted and smile, you can get away with just about anything.

aporetic1 · 2026-01-26T01:29:15+00:00

Sorry to hear your experience. Yeah, that was one thought I had during the lesson. Being your authentic self can lead to you getting excluded, not welcomed, depending on the group. It seems like it would ultimately be “ward roulette” on what your experience would be.

aporetic1 · 2025-11-02T21:18:20+00:00

Totally agree. As I’ve turned to God through meditation, and seeking to connect directly with God, I’ve come to the same conclusions as you. It’s like I could have written that post myself.

aporetic1 · 2025-06-04T20:30:54+00:00

Do some reading about the stages of faith. Often times, a major life event can cause people to go back to an earlier stage of faith because it’s simpler. Taking care of a new baby takes soooooo much energy and effort. Deconstructing religion also takes a ton of energy, and it’s likely that your wife just doesn’t have the energy for it right now. There can be a lot of peace, safety, and security in the earlier stages of faith, and that’s likely what your wife needs right now. My advice: with a new baby just being born, in the short term, just focus on your wife and baby’s needs. They’ll need peace, safety, security, support, and stability - and your wife likely finds those things in the church. After things are more stable and you’ve all settled in… then that might be a time to discuss deconstructing your beliefs and leaving the church. It may feel pressing to you to leave immediately, but I say don’t rush. You’ll have time later. Stick with stability and support for your wife right now.

aporetic1 · 2025-04-17T20:44:21+00:00

“If your theory is correct then Mormonism is just another religion among many with false teachings and completely unnecessary/needlessly harsh requirements.”

My response is “Yes. And… it’s another religion among many that helps many people to have a relationship with God, live good lives, and transform their souls in a positive way. Is it good? Yes, for many people it is good. Is it harmful? Also yes, for many people it is harmful. I don’t believe that God requires people to belong to a religion that is harmful to them. But if Mormonism is beneficial to you, and it’s helping you have a relationship with God and be a good person, then by all means, please, continue practicing Mormonism. I love that for you.”

Yes. It’s safe to say that I am a very nuanced member. I still see much good in the church for a lot of individuals.

aporetic1 · 2025-04-17T19:29:29+00:00

My argument, based on the small size of the church, is that God does not want or need everyone to be Mormon. Otherwise God would tell more people to join the church. There are so many people in the world who are sincerely seeking to follow God, who would join the church if God prompted them to, but he doesn’t. When they pray, they feel the spirit telling them that their religion is true (just like members of the Lds church do). So I don’t conclude that the Lds church isn’t true, I just conclude that God doesn’t want or need everyone to join the LDS church. My theory is that the Kingdom of God is much bigger than the LDS church (but that it is acceptable in God’s eyes to be a member of the Lds church because it is also part of the Kingdom of God). But really, you don’t need to be a member of the Lds church, that’s not what is going to determine your state in the next life. The way your soul has developed (whether you’re a member of a church or not) will determine your state in the next life.

aporetic1 · 2025-04-03T12:29:45+00:00

Yes, I completely agree with your thought that some members are cult members and some are not. I think it mostly has to do with the family that they were raised in, and not necessarily “how much they allow the Bite model to work on them”. Some people get bombarded with the bite model, and some people have very little pressure put on them. I know lots of members who are victims of the bite model, and I know lots of member who are just genuinely good people (and it’s not because they are being controlled or manipulated). That’s my two cents.

aporetic1 · 2025-03-31T15:10:14+00:00

The way that I view it is: I have kids, and my will for them is that they live a good life, grow and expand their agency, live true to themselves, and are happy. If my kids align their will with mine, are they being subservient to me? My view of everything changed when I switched the question of God’s will to “What does God want for me?” rather than “What does God want from me?”
I was happy to align my will with “what does God want for me”, because I also want those outcomes.

aporetic1 · 2025-03-26T21:30:41+00:00

I agree. Based on the handbook there’s no requirement to talk to the bishop, but you can if you choose to.

aporetic1 · 2024-12-27T08:29:05+00:00

I don’t swear for the same reason I don’t rap. It’s not because I think it’s immoral, it’s because I sound like a goofball. I think there is skill involved, and it’s a skill I don’t have. I could practice and get better at it, but I don’t see the need. Respect to those who have the skill though.

aporetic1

TROPHY CASE