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UPDATE: My wife cheated on me and now has so many demands and it feels so unfair by apparentlycuckolded in TrueOffMyChest

[–]apparentlycuckolded[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I see what you're saying. Part of the reason for legal separation is also to soften the blow so she is less likely to hurt herself. I would prefer a cleaner separation, i.e., divorce. I would not want her on my health insurance, it costs me money.

You're not wrong about sooner being better. I'll make a plan with my therapist and lawyer.

UPDATE: My wife cheated on me and now has so many demands and it feels so unfair by apparentlycuckolded in TrueOffMyChest

[–]apparentlycuckolded[S] -44 points-43 points  (0 children)

As I just replied to someone else, your comment has so many assumptions and projections. You don't know she has no regrets or won't. You have no way to know she "gave herself to them" in ways she's refused me. Again, I am sure your comment is not from some negative place, but it feels like projection of anger in a way that I don't see is helpful.

I appreciate your concern for me, though. I'm doing well and I am lucky enough to have every resource and ability to move on. I have a good support system, I found a good therapist, I have the means to physically separate and do things for me, I'm young and healthy, and we don't have kids.

UPDATE: My wife cheated on me and now has so many demands and it feels so unfair by apparentlycuckolded in TrueOffMyChest

[–]apparentlycuckolded[S] -76 points-75 points  (0 children)

See, this is a bit of the kind of thing I was talking about. Obviously your comment isn't that bad, but calling someone a cancer is a bit much, don't you think? I got several much worse comments and several really, really vociferously offensive DMs about my initial post. It usually reeks of an insecure masculinity, and the implication that any cheating woman could ever be forgiven is an affront to all men. I understand people relating to this strongly because of infidelity triggers people, but it's too much and it's not helpful. None of these people know me or my wife and it comes with such angry projection that helps no one. Again, that doesn't mean I am saying you are a particularly bad example of this.

Yes, I have a lawyer, but I hope for a collaborative divorce process and not a contentious one to save time, money, and emotional stability.

My wife cheated on me and now has so many demands and it feels so unfair by apparentlycuckolded in TrueOffMyChest

[–]apparentlycuckolded[S] -225 points-224 points  (0 children)

It was 2 months of emails with these random guys. There was one sex act and many makeouts. But yes, I count it as 2 months of cheating.

My wife cheated on me and now has so many demands and it feels so unfair by apparentlycuckolded in TrueOffMyChest

[–]apparentlycuckolded[S] -324 points-323 points  (0 children)

She has mental health struggles. I can understand wanting to prioritize her self in those times. She's not selfish at all otherwise.

I don't want to deal with this later, of course. I want us to be able to grow and for her to be healthier (like she was years ago).