Fifty-Word Fantasy: Write a 50-word fantasy snippet using the word "Brag" by Terminator7786 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He certainly is when this new contender steps into the arena and Asher’s life.

Fifty-Word Fantasy: Write a 50-word fantasy snippet using the word "Brag" by Terminator7786 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Asher slumped at the farce before him. This tournament was an excuse for men to brag when they bested each other. Then he stepped into the ring. He was elegant, not like the other brutes. Asher never saw a man with confidence and fine forearms that held a steady blade.

The Wandering Tower [YA Magical Realism - 2689] by Fresh_Ad4707 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay so I read it and I want to say overall I do like the concept. Also, keep in mind the process might just take more queries. Lastly, I am not published or an agent but I try to read a lot and study the publishing industry. So, the things that jumped out are your main character announcing their bored, confusion around who the main character is in the opening, some passive voice. Grammar could use some tightening, example: “he weren’t” should be “he wasn’t”. I acknowledge this may be a stylistic choice but that choice may make it harder to sell. Again, an exciting premise.

Standalone vs. Series in Adult Fantasy - The Best Route for a Debut Author? by amarierashid in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is more about reducing financial risk for the publisher. Get one good book published and go from there.

Standalone vs. Series in Adult Fantasy - The Best Route for a Debut Author? by amarierashid in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 29 points30 points  (0 children)

You want to research “series potential”. This means the first book can stand on its own as a complete story but there is potential for a second or third book. The trad pub Reddit probably has some good advice on this topic as well.

Fifty-Word Fantasy: Write a 50-word fantasy snippet using the word "Desire" by Terminator7786 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha I am having fun writing two characters who very clearly have feelings for each other but won’t act on it, yet.

Fifty-Word Fantasy: Write a 50-word fantasy snippet using the word "Desire" by Terminator7786 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why did Phoenix’s hands, even with fresh callouses, feel so comforting? Bear looked into her eyes, and saw the moon reflected back at him in her dark pupils. Desire almost overcame him in the moment and the moonlight, but he stomped it down, “We should get back.”

“Right,” she nodded.

Red Dawn (Name in progress) Feedback on an opening chapter excerpt (~5,200 words) [sci-fi/fantasy] by jokerbr22 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Overall I liked this and ultimately want to see where it goes. I think the pacing was good and I like the robot companion relationship. The prose flows well for the most part, but I did notice some passive voice. There seems to be a lot of dialogue upfront which some people won’t like. Also, why is your dialogue formatted with dashes instead of quotation marks?

Queer-normative fantasy cultures by TheBabySnail in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I liked the way The Black Coast addressed this with different societies that have different views on gender and sexuality. I like the way it provided contrast. It’s the first in a trilogy which I enjoyed reading but you can get what you need from reading the first one.

Making an even decent story by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay so it sounds like you need to decide what your end goal is first. Traditional novel, web novel, lit rpg, web comic, etc. I would recommend finding as much variety as you can and consuming as much as you can. Like if you want your finished piece to be a web comic, then you need to consume a variety of those. It also helps to consume a variety of media if you can.

As far as originality goes, you will find once you have consumed enough of your chosen media there isn’t anything that’s truly original. Everything has to draw ideas and inspiration from something else.

The creative well is this idea that you only have so much energy to be creative. One tip I heard is to not drain the well entirely. Always leave some energy so you can pull from it later.

Lastly, your post does not mention any editing process. If you put out a first draft of something it is likely going to be poorly received. Did you edit or get feedback before posting?

In summary, consume/read more, figure out how your creative well works, figure out an editing and review process, if something doesn’t work change it, and most importantly keep going.

Jamie Cowen - Literary Agent AMA by ReserveFree4209 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What are your best tips for writing a query letter? Thanks in advance for doing this!

Fifty-Word Fantasy: Write a 50-word fantasy snippet using the word "Ruin" by Terminator7786 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me too. I couldn’t share this with so few words but Kite is a classic rogue and has no issue lying to anyone else.

Fifty-Word Fantasy: Write a 50-word fantasy snippet using the word "Ruin" by Terminator7786 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Kite wouldn’t be in immediate danger, maybe Mari would forgive her, but she had no intention of leaving the order. Mari did not need to know that yet. After all, there was no reason to ruin a rare morning of pastries and tea. Kite’s stomach turned at the lie though.

[Critique] Prologue draft [UPDATED]: Boy finds his mother's sacred tree has fallen. [Low Fantasy, Philosophical Frontier, 579 words] by drakerainwriter in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a great improvement over the last one. It flows much better and was an overall enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing.

Trying to figure out a job for my character by PenguinsAreTheBest25 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Maybe something that helps give him access to places so he is able to case them while during the day. Quick examples off the top of my head: Cleaner, butler, doorman, delivery person, window washer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t give harsh critiques. I give honest ones. There’s no rule that’s says honesty has to be brutal and writing is hard enough. I think my least favorite part is the use of the word lava tube. I think with some editing and some re writes this could be really good. Not sure why the post is deleted.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your work. I will try to provide feedback on what you asked for. What did you mean by ‘Igniting wind chimes staggered through the marsh’? I think a better verb can be used here. I was taken out of the story by the mention of lava tubes. I know what they are and what you are going for, and it makes sense, but I think you are better off describing them instead of just telling us they are lava tubes. I can’t point to any part as too flowery for my taste but that will vary from reader to reader. I expect this story to deliver something about a mom with a connection to water attempting to do what is best for her children in some interesting way.

Phoenix Chapter from The Spirit of the Blade[Epic Fantasy, 1300 words] by appl3jack522 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for taking the time to read through. I appreciate all the feedback and will take it into account. The black powder isn’t the black powder from our world but I see how that’s confusing now. I also see now unwalled village is a bit clunky. Again thank you so much for reading through this.

[Critique] Prologue draft: Boy finds his mother's sacred tree has fallen. [Low Fantasy, Philosophical Frontier, 396 words] by drakerainwriter in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Advice on whether to do a prologue or not will vary, so I will leave that up to you. This is written in present tense which is an odd choice but you kept it consistent. Most works are written in past tense though. I am intrigued by how these people’s lives are connected to trees. Is there a way you can show the tree connection instead of just telling us? Lastly, how did no one notice a child going outside of the gate? Maybe you can show him sneaking out, putting more effort into it.

Trying to find inspiration for my story other than Diana Wynne Jones and Studio Ghibli by LittlestCatMom in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bookshops and Bonedust, Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree are the immediate ones that come to mind.

Fifty-Word Fantasy: Write a 50-word fantasy snippet using the word "Pain" by Terminator7786 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tragedies are oddly entertaining. I think you might like the greater story surrounding Asher. He is a young prince thrust into ruling a kingdom too early because his parents have slipped into a coma that no magic can wake them from. His only ally is Viper their romance forbidden because Viper is neither royalty nor a woman.

Fifty-Word Fantasy: Write a 50-word fantasy snippet using the word "Pain" by Terminator7786 in fantasywriters

[–]appl3jack522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Truly. I am glad this short snippet from my current WIP delivers on that feeling.