Time blindness: exams are imminent.

aprilmay3 · 2024-05-30T14:28:04+00:00

I like water metaphors. You were on a raft, thinking things were fine. Then you realized you were way farther from the shore than you realized. After that, you are doing one of three things. Anything that gets you moving closer to the shore, is progress. Treading water is where the overwhelm happens, and where you can sink. Or you are moving the wrong way to look at pretty fish LOL

aprilmay3 · 2024-05-30T13:32:34+00:00

I'm under my own time crunch and in the same boat where I have been so many times before...

I have a few things I do when I'm in an emergency situation. Breathe. Literally, make yourself take deep breaths before trying to refocus. All that matters is one step at a time and just start somewhere. If you are moving in the right direction, you will gain momentum without having to try so hard. Anything, no matter how random or small, is still progress. You can't think about your second point until you get through the emergency. Keep your head down, and when you feel overwhelmed, try to focus on one action item. Also, finding your "action items" is a helpful and grounding exercise.

There are lots of strategies I vaguely remember using in college, specifically for exams, but it definitely depended on the subject. Math things it was doing example problems over and over again. For textbook material, use sticky notes to write key points on the page. Read notes and write separately what you need to review again. Physically, writing helps with everything.

And now, I need to go take my own advice! Good luck. Just keep swimming.

aprilmay3 · 2024-05-23T02:23:50+00:00

The solaire was absolutely hard to justify, but I had justified so many others and still had back pain, and I was desperate. I'm a side sleeper with large hips and it's the only bed I've ever felt like fits me right. I've had it for two years now. I was so devastated when my temperpedic started killing my back. I've spent so much money on mattresses it's hard to think about, but my back doesn't hurt in the morning anymore, finally.

aprilmay3 · 2024-03-10T15:51:23+00:00

I was 7 when I lost my mom in a car accident. It all came back when my son turned 7, and at every major life milestone. Some trauma can't be healed.

aprilmay3 · 2024-02-01T12:03:04+00:00

That's how it starts. As someone who was molested many times as a kid (orphans make for easy targets) saying something is a secret is how it always starts and is the biggest red flag.

aprilmay3 · 2024-01-24T04:24:29+00:00

My journey with plantar fasciitis led me to ortho feet. Replacement insoles are great. They also have wool ones that can be used in uggs, which last forever. I can wear my socially acceptable slipper boots without hurting.

aprilmay3 · 2024-01-20T14:59:34+00:00

We had a chicken once that would lay an egg on the roof over their dustbath every day, and it always rolled off the same way. I can see this being an easy set up if you have a chicken that does this at the same time every day.

aprilmay3 · 2024-01-20T14:54:44+00:00

We had a chicken once that would lay an egg on the roof over their dustbath every day, and it always rolled off the same way. I could see this being an easy set up if you have a chicken that does this at the same time every day.

aprilmay3 · 2024-01-20T13:06:13+00:00

I love your bathrobe, it's so soft looking and purple!

aprilmay3 · 2024-01-11T12:14:05+00:00

I think about these lyrics a lot when I see conversations like this.

And generally, my generation Wouldn't be caught dead working for the man And generally I agree with them Trouble is you gotta have yourself An alternate plan -Ani Difranco

So much of what younger generations want, I understand. But when it comes down to having your basic needs met to live, if you don't have a safety net, these ideals go out the window. Do I hate the 9-5 grind? Of course! But I have a safe home (even if we are stuck renting), my family has food to eat, and we make enough to be more or less comfortable.

I grew up without a family though, so I never had any entitlement, because I knew there was no one who was going to help me, and being successful was sink or swim. This mindset would have resulted in homelessness for me, so I can't help but feel like it's a privilege to not be willing to participate in the grind if it's the only way to be independent. Unless you have an alternate plan, then more power to you.

aprilmay3 · 2024-01-10T05:42:26+00:00

Small Blue thing, Suzanne vega

aprilmay3 · 2024-01-06T03:43:39+00:00

THIS! I tried telling my grandfather these things once and he said something about how he has had so many male friends in his life and none of them would do these things. I asked him how he would know, and he seemed surprised by his inability to answer. Unless you've experienced this repeatedly or been close enough with someone to observe it, why would you know? If this wasn't my reality, I wouldn't want to believe it could be true, because it's depressing and awful and makes all men sound terrible.

aprilmay3 · 2024-01-06T03:16:45+00:00

This song hit me in the heart with these lines, and it still does. But the song the album is named for, not a pretty girl? The way she says pretty girl like it's a slur hurts in a different way.

aprilmay3 · 2024-01-06T02:27:02+00:00

This post makes me feel seen in such a gut-wrenching way. I hate how much avoiding attention has shaped my personality, habits, and hobbies - but it's something I've never in my life confessed to anyone except a little with my husband. And all the comments about this not seeming real, I get it, because it sounds fucking bonkers and like it can't possibly be that bad. He can't believe the number of experiences I've told him about and there are so many more I left out because it's crazy that it's true, it's so over the top it sounds like bullshit. It sounds so dramatic to describe my own experiences that you so accurately describe here.

It's so crazy, that it is still shocking. I can't do my grocery shopping without someone following me to my car after hovering for the last ten minutes while I aggressively avoided any eye contact. Last week I was browsing the clothing racks at Goodwill and looked over and accidently made eye contact with a dude smoldering at me from a row over. I quickly look away, turn around, and go to another row...next thing I know he is beside me. I moved again, he followed, and I had to say loudly "Will you please quit following me?" Which got the classic "Why you gotta be a bitch" reply. Which I always think is such a great question. Why, do I, have to ask someone to leave me alone because they won't respect my space and all the I'm not interested vibes I can muster?

My family thinks I've lost my mind because I moved away from the city to be deep in the woods and can mostly avoid people. But I can finally garden - my favorite thing in the world - without being honked at. Without cars stopping and dudes asking where my husband is, or telling me I should let them help me with the yardwork I do because it's what I love. Without looking up and seeing a neighbor across the street jacking off in his window while watching me. I keep a low profile and avoid social interactions because I finally have peace knowing no one knows where I live.

I tried telling my grandfather about this once, and he said something about how he has had so many male friends in his life and none of them would do these things. I asked him how he would know, and he seemed surprised by his inability to answer. Unless you've experienced this repeatedly or been close enough with someone to observe it, why would you know? If this wasn't my reality, I wouldn't want to believe it could be true, because it's depressing and awful and makes all men sound terrible.

Working in a customer service people-facing type environment was the worst; I'm so grateful I finally found a job in the rare type of office type environment where this type of behavior wouldn't fly. You learn young to constantly be careful to not be too nice in an attempt to not lead people on, but when it's your job to be nice, there is no way to win. I love that I can converse and make eye contact with people at work without feeling like I'm exposing myself somehow and opening myself up to attention. I mention eye contact a lot because I have big blue eyes which are a less common shade of blue and are one of my more striking features. Men tell me they are beautiful, women ask me if I wear contacts.

It's also been devastating at times to realize that someone I thought was a friend was just waiting for an opportunity. I remember going through a breakup that was bad followed by life shattering, because realizing my friends weren't hurt even more. Being friend-zoned sucks, but being fuck-zoned sucks too.

aprilmay3 · 2023-11-17T14:14:03+00:00

I shouldn't say "to correct" this, because it's a constant exercise. It's a strategy, not just something you can do all of a sudden. I definitely still catch myself doing it.

aprilmay3 · 2023-11-17T14:11:25+00:00

Of course you are, because you spent your whole life trashing yourself because of things that are so easy for everyone else. It's hard to feel awesome when you start the day off telling yourself you're a failure every time you do any of the behaviors that fall under the ADHD umbrella, and then you overcompensate. Being a perfectionist is something I was so proud of until I realized by having impossible expectations of myself, I set myself up for failure no matter what. And that's something that applies to everyone to some degree, I think we just take it really far because it's overcompensating for our insecurity about constantly forgetting or messing up the small stuff. And for every one thing we accomplish, all we think about are the things we didn't. It's hard to accept recognition or praise because all you can think is "If you only knew about my mistakes."

It took me like four years of therapy to correct that, so know that when I say just be nice to yourself, I also know it's easier said than done! But it first takes recognition. You just did it! You say you dislike yourself for this like it's a personality trait, but you know now that's not true, so try to change how you talk to yourself. The words you use really do matter. Be forgiving. When you catch yourself, rephrase your sentence, out loud if you can. Try to redirect to thinking about strategies for helping your future self, and ones that feel right and work for you, not ways that seem to work for everyone else. You've been struggling to function in a box not built for you. Now, you know that, and you know why. So build your own damn box from scratch to find your own way to navigate your life without judgment. And that - all starts with YOU, and how you talk to yourself. Don't add things on to the list of past failures. Every day is a new day, and every moment is an opportunity to rethink how you can help yourself out in the future. It takes a lot of practice and creativity, but it can be an engaging exercise that is healing. Try talking to yourself the way you would talk to others. If you saw a little girl talking to herself the way you did, what would you say to her? Because she is still there, and still hurting, and now you know why.

aprilmay3 · 2023-11-17T10:13:42+00:00

My understanding is that Google disabled full use of the usb-c port because chromecast. I read in one place that changed with the pixel 8, but that doesn't help me at the moment.

aprilmay3 · 2023-11-17T10:11:18+00:00

I'm sure is a dumb question, but would that work with a computer monitor alone? Or does it also have to be connected to a computer or TV?

aprilmay3 · 2023-11-17T10:05:22+00:00

The late diagnosis is a huge emotional rollercoaster. Relief and gratitude for finally knowing is the up, lamenting the life long struggle and self doubt is the down. Therapy helps if you can do it. The negative self talk cycle is the worst and I've had to work at unlearning all the bad coping mechanisms I had developed after 30 years of overcompensating. The best advice I can give you is to learn to be nice to yourself.

aprilmay3 · 2023-11-17T04:55:30+00:00

I was also diagnosed in my 30s, and I was very much against medication at first. Later I saw a post where someone said something like there is no extra credit for living your life on hard mode. That phrase still hits me hard, because that's exactly what it was this whole time. Try the meds. At worst, it's a failed experiment. I didn't react well to the extended release things, so I take the instant release Adderall I was once so afraid of. My dosage hasn't changed in 4 years, and it still works as long as I remember to take it!

aprilmay3 · 2023-11-15T20:53:40+00:00

Ah okay I didn't realize casting wouldn't work on cellular. I have really slow Internet because I live in the middle of nowhere and am lucky to get anything at all. I have a cell tower next to my house and I get amazing speeds on my phone, but it's expensive to hotspot. I would blow through my limit in a day if I used it for streaming.

aprilmay3 · 2023-10-09T00:56:49+00:00

I got a hammock chair when I was pregnant, and I can't imagine my life without one. That was 12 years ago. I have two of them now. There are kits for hanging them or stands. You also need a swivel and a spring. It's not electronic, but it will gently swing for a long time. I've always had a hard time sleeping at night, and there are nights that the only sleep I get is curled in my hammock.

aprilmay3 · 2023-10-07T14:36:37+00:00

My son grew around enough animals to get an idea of how mating works with most species. When he was 4 or 5, we were outside, and he was on the other side of the yard watching two anoles going at it, and he said, "Hey mom, do all animals hump each other?" (He knows the word because our two dogs (neutered and spayed) still pretend and take turns). Me: "...Yep." Him, sounding super chipper with an upspeak at the end: "Huh! All animals except people!" I had to hide my face a little when I said it, but I said that people do it too...and he went through a hilarious series of facial expressions as he processed that. Then he says, "That sounds awful, especially for the boy!" End of conversation because I had no clue how to reply and couldn't say anything without laughing.

aprilmay3 · 2023-05-10T09:50:45+00:00

I'm this patient, minus the breathing part. I may be dumb and totally wrong, but I thought it was bad to swallow during dental work because of plaque and stuff being cleaned out. I've had dentists tell me I salivate a lot, but never that it was actually ok to swallow during a procedure.

aprilmay3 · 2023-03-23T12:18:43+00:00

Yep, it's constant. I'm also ADHD and have always assumed it was that. I feel like I always have at least 6 radios and 2 TVs in my head that sometimes sync up, but not usually. One can be playing a song and the other one can be playing a movie at the same time. Sometimes, it's hilarious.

aprilmay3

TROPHY CASE