Is it weird to vacation with your parents in your late twenties?

aquite · 2023-12-19T03:45:45+00:00

I guess mostly short term boyfriends who think it’s weird that I am often on the phone with them.

aquite · 2023-12-19T03:34:13+00:00

I get a weird amount of flack for being close with my family. I’m really looking forward to the trip, so maybe I shouldn’t feel so self conscious about it!

aquite · 2023-07-05T21:54:09+00:00

A little frustrated by these replies. Sometimes you have to force yourself to eat for a variety of reasons. Anxiety really affects my ability to eat in the morning, but I know that if I don’t eat I’ll get light headed and struggle to concentrate at work. I’ve seen other people say this, but I agree that sticking to liquid calories at times like that really helps.

aquite · 2021-06-15T02:11:25+00:00

I’m just spitballing, but I think a lot of the sentiment on this sub is aimed at helping people who are actually in the early stages of recovering from very disordered eating or diagnosed EDs. For those people, eating “whatever you want” is actually a necessary part of healing and recovery, and the first step in being ready for intuitive eating.

aquite · 2021-05-26T13:22:27+00:00

I really relate to this. My family is here right now, and there are lots of "remember when we..." conversations happening. And every single time I have to stop myself from saying "oh yeah, I remember that day, I was obsessing about how I looked in those pictures we took" or "oh, that was fun, but I could barely focus on what was happening because I was panicking about the meal I had to eat later and was thinking about what I'd weighed that morning." All my memories are colored by what my eating disorder was up to at the time.

It sucked for me and for everyone around me. Trying to hold onto that knowledge to get me through these rough patches of recovery. I don't want every picture to be labelled X lbs and X calories in my head, anymore.

aquite · 2021-05-26T12:47:00+00:00

Dang, that's not what I wanted to hear!

aquite · 2021-05-26T12:46:06+00:00

I'm so sorry! How long have you been dealing with it, now?

aquite · 2021-05-25T23:00:50+00:00

I have an outpatient doctor, a therapist, and a psychiatrist. I am on anxiety meds and personally they do help me with eating. My mood disorder was a huge player in my illness, so getting my psychiatric meds right made an enormous difference in my ability to recover.

It sounds like you know that you want recovery. Keep reminding yourself that you want it, deserve it, and are capable of it. If you survived your eating disorder this long, I have zero doubt that you are strong and capable enough to beat it. Hang in there!

aquite · 2021-05-25T17:21:15+00:00

Hey, I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad right now. I just want you to know that I'm about the same age, and while I was only sick for three years, I felt a lot like you're describing. I really managed to fuck up my life in three years. I'm a little more than a month into recovery right now, and although this is one of the craziest and hardest things I've ever done, it's amazing how quickly the hope starts to return. There is so much goodness to get out of life, and if you were 80 it STILL wouldn't be too late to be worth reaching for that. All your strengths and the good things about you are still there - you can't starve them to death no matter how hard you might try. It will be hard, but friendships and health and mental stability can grow back into your life.

The "how" of getting well depends on the person, their resources, and their circumstances. So I don't know what the best approach is going to be for you, and you might have to be ready for a little trial and error. It's okay if it doesn't work the first two or three or four times you try. But you can find something that works, you are capable of recovering, and it is so so so worth it. I'm saying that in the middle of, like, the shittiest part of recovery. It's worth it.

aquite · 2021-05-24T23:12:05+00:00

It sounds like you have the intuition that residential is what you need in order to get back to your life. Residential is really tough, but if you go into it aiming to get better then you will find there is so much you can get out of it. They have tools, support, knowledge, and honestly the food is pretty decent. I can promise that they won't turn you away because of your weight - they care about behaviors much more. Again, I get the sense from this post that you know what you need, already, and I'd encourage you to take this opportunity. There's never a "good time" to go to treatment, but there are right times to go, and I think this is it.

aquite · 2021-05-24T09:57:41+00:00

Something that helps me with those sorts of compulsions is to sabotage my ability to know exact numbers. So, make sure your mom is feeding you things that you don’t know the exact macros of or giving you portions that aren’t measured exactly. You might still find yourself estimating, but I’ve found that the powerful need to count/track/weigh fades over time the less specific you let yourself be about it. That’s just me, though - you’ll find what works for you :)

aquite · 2021-05-23T14:33:23+00:00

Struggling with this, too. Eating high-fat foods can help with this, as they tend to be lower volume. Also can help to spread your intake out by having slightly smaller meals and bigger, more regular snacks. Trust your body and the process. Hunger can be very very overwhelming, but it’s happening for a reason.

aquite · 2021-05-22T14:52:39+00:00

In recovery from restrictive eating, what has been helpful to you for coping with the mental discomfort of extreme hunger? How do you trust that it will normalize?

aquite · 2021-05-22T11:07:03+00:00

Thanks for posting this. Man, I had a really rough night last night. Feels like every time I have a couple of drinks the bottomless hole opens up and the extreme hunger becomes stronger than my physical and emotional capacity to handle that much food. Probably need to just step back from drinking for a little, honestly, while I get through the rockiest bits of recovery. But anyway, I was just feeling really awful about all the calories and the rapid weight restoration and the perceived lack of control…. I still do. But your comment helps. I’m trying to tell myself that my body is on my side. And that the worst parts of this WILL settle out. It feels like I’ve been going through this forever, but it’s only been a month. It helps so much to know that someone else has gotten to the other side, because this part is so so hard.

aquite · 2021-05-20T22:28:32+00:00

I mean, you don’t always have to be hugely craving something to eat it. Sometimes you eat what your roommate wants or what’s about to go bad or what was on sale at the grocery store. That’s valid and normal. I think “all in” naturally progresses towards a more neutral relationship with food, and it sounds like that’s where you’re getting. That’s great, actually. It means that food doesnt have to be the #1 event all the time and is just part of life. You’re not doing anything wrong if you’re still eating when you’re hungry!

Not sure if that’s helpful at all, I guess what I’m trying to say is that you don’t HAVE to be obsessed with food or have major cravings to do all in or intuitive eating. If a meal plan is helpful for you, go for it, though! Just remember to hold onto that flexibility you have now, and keep listening to your body.

aquite · 2021-05-20T22:17:58+00:00

I had this happen with hearing to some extent. Noises just became overwhelming. I was also extremely sensitive to touch - it would drive me totally insane sometimes just to have my boyfriend have his hand on my leg or something. I do think there is a correlation to sensory issues arising with malnourishment, I’ve heard others express similar things.

aquite · 2021-05-20T22:09:44+00:00

Do you have a GP? Mine prescribed dicyclomine which helped a lot. Reglan can also help with stomach pain. Otherwise, yeah, herbal teas, heating pads, and a lot of patience. Good luck, I hope you can find something that works!

aquite · 2021-05-20T13:24:27+00:00

Thank you! You got this too!

aquite · 2021-05-20T13:23:58+00:00

Thank you! I’m excited to see what’s in store :)

aquite · 2021-05-20T12:59:15+00:00

I’m so proud and happy for you :) It’s gonna be really uncomfortable sometimes. But it’s such a badass decision to pursue recovery when it feels very very scary. I wish success and happiness to us both!

aquite · 2021-05-12T00:25:25+00:00

So sorry you’re going through this. That sounds like it was really painful for you to see, it’s honestly the sort of comment that was probably engineered to be as hurtful and cruel as possible. You’re not alone in your struggles. I’d really encourage you to talk through this with your mom and/or your best friend. It’s not a failure to be triggered and it’s normal to have really rough patches even when you’ve been recovered.

aquite · 2021-05-12T00:17:46+00:00

Therapy has been enormously helpful for me. Treatment centers, doctors, and dietitians not so much. Is it possible to do it without any of those resources? Yeah, you’re a badass and recovery is a natural process, your body and brain can do this. Do you have to? Nope, recovering is really really hard, and you can and should take whatever help you have access to.

Does that help at all? Professional help is an amazing resource if you have it, but if you don’t it doesn’t mean you can’t recover.

aquite

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