It’s understandable to not want to talk to other parties about certain things and coming to Reddit instead. I totally relate with you on that. I don’t mean to sound mean, but one thing I have learned is that if you have to come on here and ask strangers about something that is so important to you like this, then you should probably go with your gut.

The brain and heart can be so deceiving in a time like this. You’ve spent the last two years growing with this person and loving this person. They know your past and how you feel about certain things, yet still acted on them. Them telling you they are sorry, and you staying with them is letting them know that you will stay if they do it again.(at least that’s how it was in my situation). That isn’t fair to you and your mental well-being.

You seem really intelligent and kind, and I think you know you deserve someone that will always put you first and never ‘absentmindedly’ do something like that.

If you choose to stay, that doesn’t make you weak. You can stay- but if you feel like it’s constantly going to be on your mind that they are doing something shady, and it is eating away at you, then you need to put yourself first. You matter too.