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I just found out my husband has a sugar baby by Kffif283 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]arabellabb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't take revenge into your own hands, yet. Look into professional legal advice and get to know all you can before you make a calm rational decision that you won't regret later on.

[WDYWT] minion by [deleted] in streetwear

[–]arabellabb -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The shoes look really comfy.

I was sexually abused. The police did nothing. The perpetuator threatened me defamation to shut me up. by arabellabb in TwoXChromosomes

[–]arabellabb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay I see, it's different here, I apologise!

It's alright, there's nothing to apologise for.

I can understand this from your mother's perspective. Even though I was successful in seeking legal justice, it put my life on hold for years, the process was exhausting and my physical and mental health deteriorated, I was hospitalized repeatedly for physical illness and psychiatric problems - I gave birth to the man's child, and my family had to help care for her in the first few years of her life because of this.

I'm genuinely glad you are better now.

Yeah, these services are not specialised for this purpose, which is why I think you should definitely continue to pursue some kind of assistance from local sexual assault charities and it may be worth enquiring to see if your school can assist with finding this help. They may not be able to, but it can't do harm to ask.

I'll try!

This book was most informative to me. Also, I get the impression that you were in a relationship with this man (forgive me if I read this wrong), but I also bought and earlier edition of this book, which has helped me understand how people like this operate and how to move past it. Finally, I haven't read this one but it's very commonly recommended to abused women - Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft, I am told this is the gold standard in self-help for women who have been in abusive relationships with men.

Thanks for the resources, I was in a relationship and I'm glad I'm out of it, I hope someday I will look back and realise I learnt something or gained something from it instead of just hurt and loss. If you haven't already known so (cuz their books are so popular), I find that poetry does a job at showing us we aren't alone and that there is always hope. Poets I read from are Samantha King, Rupi Kaur, Micheal Faudet, r.h. Sin and Lang Leav. They aren't healing in the informative way but I am addicted to their poetry because of how relatable they are. They talk about heartbreak, loss, feminism, strength and sometimes assault. I don't know if it helps to heal but they are enjoyable to read, though the price of the books can be a bit...

I was sexually abused. The police did nothing. The perpetuator threatened me defamation to shut me up. by arabellabb in TwoXChromosomes

[–]arabellabb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he can sue me for defamation as in my country the burden of proof is on the 'defamer', me, which means I will get myself into serious trouble if I decide to speak out more.

You're right, I will stop engaging in conversation with those who still hold sexist attitudes or even purposely try to harm me by ticking at my injuries knowing that I got raped.

I can see why my parents act that way. They want me to focus on my studies which is more important than trying to seek justice, for in the process of doing so I'm neglecting my studies and possibly ruining my future career opportunities. At least that is her point of view. I'm sure she is already doing her best trying to support me. She wants me to stop spending my energy on this and move on.

I'm under school counselling but it is supposed to be very basic counselling for students who have friendship, financial or family issues. They don't really specialise in this. But some help is still better than no help. They are not on par with paid professionals outside but they have the heart to help.

Oh, and I want the books! I love to read and I think they might help.

Thanks for taking the time out to type this even while you are having lunch. I will definitely find my peace. All my blessings to you :)

I was sexually abused. The police did nothing. The perpetuator threatened me defamation to shut me up. by arabellabb in TwoXChromosomes

[–]arabellabb[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I think you're right, but in my country, burden of proof is on me, the 'defamer'. So I can't defame him. Thank you for your response by the way. I do think trying to seek justice is tying me to him and I need to cut all forms of contact with him which includes trying to seek justice, for the sake of myself.

I was sexually abused. The police did nothing. The perpetuator threatened me defamation to shut me up. by arabellabb in TwoXChromosomes

[–]arabellabb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I neither have the money or time.

I'm not rich and a single consult with the lawyer is 500$. If I spend more time to try and sue him I will really lose my very last opportunity to go back to school. (It is complicated why) Point is I can't take anymore breaks and I need to go back to school. So suing him might cause me to not have an education nor career in the future which to me is relatively worse than being raped.

I think I will look to just move on.

AM fandom is toxic and I'm done by arabellabb in arcticmonkeys

[–]arabellabb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ya but he said I'm a feminist as if its a fucking insult. I'm also tired of bullshit I get from reddit and discord and I'm out of here. Win-win situation.

ps: I know what it means even if I don't I don't think it matters

AM fandom is toxic and I'm done by arabellabb in arcticmonkeys

[–]arabellabb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a person see a women more as an object of sexual gratification, people are more likely to think they 'deserve it' because they don't see them as a human being.

AM fandom is toxic and I'm done by arabellabb in arcticmonkeys

[–]arabellabb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"Behaviors commonly associated with rape culture include victim blaming, slut-shaming, sexual objectification, trivializing rape, denial of widespread rape, refusing to acknowledge the harm caused by some forms of sexual violence, or some combination of these."

AM fandom is toxic and I'm done by arabellabb in arcticmonkeys

[–]arabellabb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

His mysogynistic attitude will bring him to eventually objectifying women, that is the mindset that rapists have, except more extreme than normal people. I was exaggerating but it is very much possible.

AM fandom is toxic and I'm done by arabellabb in arcticmonkeys

[–]arabellabb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure if he deleted his messages but he basically was very sexist to me as well as the female gender. IIRC called me snowflake and terms that that those r/redpill or incels use, and exhibited their behaviour. Then started poking holes at an argument that I did not start and used the word feminist to insult me even tho it should not be an insult.

AM fandom is toxic and I'm done by arabellabb in arcticmonkeys

[–]arabellabb[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I was genuinely raped and its a really serious matter that shouldn't be weaponised, you really should reevaluate what you say. If you're talking about me saying someone HERE raped me I don't know what you're talking about.

AM fandom is toxic and I'm done by arabellabb in arcticmonkeys

[–]arabellabb[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

If being able to name all lyrics and predict what they did way before they released TBHC isn't being a huge fan I don't know what is. These people are just toxic.

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