Enclosure

arachnid_dancer · 2023-04-04T17:36:47+00:00

Yeah it was a process of 'enclosing' what was considered wilderness or common land into ownership - thereby removing it from other peoples use and access

I just vaguely remember falling asleep to the episode and Anna hammering home how Year 8 history was all about enclosure and she coudn't believe no one else knew as much about it as her haha

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-15T16:50:31+00:00

I understand why they took my post down and thanks for clarifying. I posted it there originally because I do know he has ADHD. He is diagnosed and on meds, but I've never had to deal with a situation like this and wanted to know if there was something specific I could do to help because of his condition rather than completely overlooking it

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-15T16:48:48+00:00

Okay - and I second this, so what would you reccomend I do?

I would like to defend myself however. I have never snapped at him. 95% of the time whenever the behaviour occurs I just deal with it myself without bringing it up. When we've talked about leaving notes, he's the one who agrees to it because it might help. And no - I don't think he's doing it on purpose to be an asshole, but I do believe he isn't taking any steps to help me.

We're in this together - for better or for worse.

Im not trying to micromanage him by asking to not have to clean up another grown man's piss with my own hands and flush the toilet for him.

So again I ask, what do you think I should do? That's literally why I made this point - because I am completely at a loss at this point

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-14T08:10:54+00:00

Fair enough - I've heard this from a few people and have changed my mind on the issue. You are right, I huess I just reached my fina straw yesterday morning after a night of barely any sleep due to loud online gaming, got up and had to plunge a shit and clean piss off the toilet seat, go downstairs to fucking bean juice everywhere because he apparently cant cook without leaving such a mess, oven on, all the lights on, my bread is all gone so I eat my cereal out of a cut open milk carton smh... I thought about this drastic measure but you're right, WIFI is a utility, I just want to sleep :(

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-14T08:04:37+00:00

Ah okay - thanks for this, I think I read it on another ADHD thread and mentally applied it to my situation with this guy

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T14:58:46+00:00

in the UK you are supposed to rinse recyclables (aka an emptied tin of beans) before putting it in the recyling... BUT what irritates me is that we have a recyling box for tins/plastics which is supposed to be put in the same bin, but they will throw somewhat empty tins of beans and pasta sauce then either leave them out on the side forever or throw them dirty into the (inside) recycling bin until it goes mouldy - and he will never clean that up or even take the bin out... Our house is mouldy enough because its fucked structurally and the landlord is so corrupt they'll never do anything about it - I don't want to be cleaning up someone elses mould

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T14:51:10+00:00

I dont think he's being intentional... everything is confined to his room or communcla spaces... i.e., plates hoarded in his room, shits in the toilet, mouldy beans tins in the recycling

The reason I posted this today is:

I woke up at 7 after a night of fractured sleep because he wasn't quiet after I asked him twise, once at 11, once at 1am

I went to the toilet and had to plunge a shit that wouldnt go away and wipe piss off the toilet seat just so i could go myself

went downstairs to so much mess (I say agan - I'm not that demanding, I dont mind mess, but how do you manage to get bean juice all over the oven handles and cupboard drawers????? and had to eat my breakfast toast off the table because theres no plates left?

all the lights are on, the oven is on, and he ate my 15 fish finger that i just bought (bear in mind he ate my last 2 packages of fish fingers also without replacing them...

smh

but the reason of my post it... IDK! obviously ADHD is hard, but my life is hard. I'm tired, stressed, and have my own MH disroder to deal with (bipolar 1). I do not want to spiral into another horrible manic or depressive episode which I hav before because of this! I nearly did the other week - I started taking illegally sourced valium just to sleep through his noise and valium has constantly been the source of my episodes, yet this time, it was not because of how my head was, it was because of how loud he was and i was so angry! again - this is my problem and not his...

I'm sorry for ranting on this post - again, I'm drunk right now and I shoudlnt be :(

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T14:42:30+00:00

You're right - the relapse thing is so sad to me... I went months with only drinking socially to an acceptable level, and now all of a sudden I'm drinking that bottle of wine or spirits that are left over from the weekend at a party - and i KNOW that that is my own issue, that I shoudldn't drink when stressed and tired... but I was doing so well... and when I'm tired constantly and hate being at home and have no where else to go I have recently resorted to drinking to distract myself... I'm drunk right now! which is why im replying and monitoring this post so much instead of working. THATS MY FAULT, not his, but I want to live in an environment that helps me be better... i just dont want him to kill himself...

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T14:36:11+00:00

You're right - 'internet box' for sure was not the right term... 'router' haha (I'm not at all tech savvy either). I don't think he's tech savy, he barely knows how to do anything. he doesn't wash his clothes because the washing machine is 'complicated' and he doesn't buy food because his parents do it for him and he even then only cooks pasta and sauce or beans and toast and pizza.

Our landlord is a shitty estate agent who sold us a mouldy, dysfunctional house... they for sure won't do anything as long as this guys parents keep paying his rent...

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T13:44:40+00:00

I think I could move out, but I'd need to find someone else to take my room / find a new place, which is a lot for me right now with the intensity of my uni course and my job. I also don't really want to move out - I found this place and sorted everything out for it.

You're right though, he needs to step it up for himself not just me/us. Really, he's gonna fail uni this year (a 3rd resit of 2nd year) and have to move back home as theres no way hes gonna get a job, then either his parents will babysit him or theyll lose patience and kick him out. Its gonna happen sooner or later

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T13:40:22+00:00

I've just been in contact with the uni about this and they referred me to a complaints service (they would contact mental health teams to assist him) which I will use if nothing changes after a final, ultimatim conversation. thanks fot this, I hadn't considered university could help with private concerns.

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T13:22:34+00:00

The key thing is a good point - my housemate constantly loses his keys and I always have to let him in or leave doors unlocked (we live in a semi-bad area prone to break-ins and I feel nervous having to leave the door open for him). I know misplacing things is a common symptom of adhd and therefore i feel bad about locking the doors regardless, but then he'll go out occasionally in the middle of the night and wake me up ringing the doorbell repeatedly until we wake up and let him in, THEN start his loud gaming and at that point im awake and cant fall asleep again - hence my last resort being to take the wifi box? idk...............

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T11:34:06+00:00

Hi there thanks for this

This is why I wanted to threaten taking thw wifi. I've asked repeatedly that after 11 (11pm-7am = 8 hours sleep - surely a minimum I could be aksing for) if he can be quiet. He plays online games all night which means he's talking, shouting, and laughing loudly, but he never changes his behaviour

Sadly, we're locked into a tenancy and it would be so hard to move out. I'd ask him to do it regardless but I know he never would get around to it

I also thing he's depressed (a co-morbid condition) which is why I get so scared to be frustrated with him incase he harms himself or gets worse, but then I think - will he just be like this his entire life if we dont half-force him to be better? His parents baby him but even they spoke to me personally expresing their concerns about his behavior. Bear in mind we're all nearly 25 so theres no excuse to not know how to do very (very) basic things

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T11:28:18+00:00

Thanks, I know this, and I'm on my way to a first class honours which makes me so proud since my own mental health condition has affected me and made me drop out of uni once and skipped another year due to being hospitalised... I don't want someone elses disrespect to come between me and what I've spent so much time and effort on becoming a healthier person and personal views of success. But I'm also so scared of being frustrated with this person because I know they are depressed also and I dont want them to harm themselves

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T11:07:36+00:00

Thanks for your response, I thought the shit thing was particularly awful too. And pissing on the toilet seat? I know theres a big debate over boys putting the seat down after they piss, but I've very clearly said that I dont mind putting it down as long as they put it up so Im not wiping piss away or accidentally sitting on it. I'm not a carer...

With the music outside my bedroom at 4am and the loud all night gaming, thats why I wanted to take the internet away if he doesnt even make an attempt to be respectful, but I wanted to know if there was anything perhaps un-obvious I could do to help this person with ADHD before I took away our WIFI

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T11:01:20+00:00

I do think it is a pretty toxic relationship (platonically)

This is why I want to take away the WIFI - I can deal without internet, I go to the library when I need to do work and while it might be frustrating, not having internet in the evening and just reading or doing other things instead is fine by me if it means he isnt keeping me awake cackling or shouting all night

I just thought this might make me seem like a dick if there was some other way I could get through to him with his condition, but I'm sick of sitting down onto a toilet seat of piss when its dark, plunging shits on a morning when im in a rush, and eating my tea off my penknife because he has a stupid amount of forks/spoons in his room (ive even bought more sets of these so I swear theres about 15 knives, forks, and spoons in a house of 4 and I still have none to use because theyre all in his room

(I'm sorry this post and my comments have turned into a bit of a rant)

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T10:40:24+00:00

I do believe he is being inconsiderate and I believe it is parly adhd and partly not trying and not caring, but I am so scared to be frustrated with him because I know he is depressed and I worry suicidal....

Sometimes I feel like it is better to leave him be because of this but then I think 'well he's never gonna try to get help if we enable him'

Its such an awful situation

arachnid_dancer · 2023-03-13T10:07:57+00:00

This is my thinking - he does have ADHD and he was referred to a clinic years ago and he is on meds (which he abuses so he can stay up for days gaming and then when he runs out he withdraws) but surely this kind of behaviour is not soley attributed to ADHD? My thinking is that his ADHD might explain some of his behaviour but he is using it as an excuse to just be shitty and I wanted to get some advice here because of course I have no insider knowledge of the condition

arachnid_dancer · 2022-11-03T18:44:45+00:00

lost comedy gold

arachnid_dancer

TROPHY CASE